My Cherry Blossom: Kakashi and Sakura Love Story
by alabamagirl1997
Summary: Orochimaru is dead now but so are Sakura's parents... Forced to face the world in a way that she never had to before, Sakura Haruno goes into her own world of self-loathing and depression. Kakashi is determined to bring back the Sakura that everyone knew and loved, but with a much bigger problem looming in the distance, will either live long enough to finish what they started?
1. Chapter 1- Pilot

**Chapter 1: Author's Point of View **

The air was still and hot, an uncomfortable combination but it was better that way. With nothing tossing around the scent of the Hidden Leaf ninja, the enemies would have a harder time finding them around the city.

Despite her mother's request, the pink haired ninja closed all of the windows and locked them, trying to assure as much protection for her family as possible. Her parents were stubborn and declined Tsunade's offer of shelter at the hospital. They didn't want to be a burden when by the end of this day, there wouldn't be one empty room available anyway.

The young girl's mom stood against the doorway, watching her daughter whirl around in panic while making sure that she had all of her weapons that she could possibly carry. Her pink hair was flying behind her as she ran to each corner to check on everything before departing. Her mom took a step forward. "Sakura, there is nothing else you could possibly be forgetting. Why don't you go ahead and meet with the rest of the shinobi?"

She instantly stopped her frantic search and turned to look at her mom. In all honesty, she was just stalling to spend a little more time in this house. If anything were to happen while she was gone, this would be the last time she would be in the very place that she grew up in. She wasn't worried as much about her parent's safety; no, they could keep themselves safe for a few hours for she had told them where to go in case of an emergency, but the house two story house was not indestructible.

Sakura turned her bright blue-green eyes in her mother's direction before quickly drawing her into a hug. She didn't know why she had such a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach but maybe it was just because in about an hour, she was going to fight in one of the biggest wars ever to be fought at the Hidden Leaf Village of Konaha.

Her mom hugged her back tightly and then released her. "Go say goodbye to your father and then head off. You might be the Hokage's student but I doubt under these circumstances that she will be as forgiving as usual for your tardiness. Now go on, I'll see you whenever everything calms down. I love you, my little Cherry Blossom. Please, be safe." He mom told her, giving her a small peck on the forehead.

Sakura grinned uneasily. "I love you too mom. You guys be safe and remember where I told you to go if something goes wrong. I'll be as careful as possible." She turned on her heel and dashed into the kitchen to say goodbye to her father who told her the same thing as her mom did. She assured him and then quickly left, trying not to worry too much.

'They'll be okay,' she told herself. To save time, she jumped from roof to roof, running as fast as she could to the hospital where all of the Chunin and Jonin were supposed to meet. The village was unnervingly quiet as everyone went into hiding, most of them underground, to protect their families from the upcoming battle.

As she finally made it to her destination, Sakura was quickly swallowed into a hug by her yellow-haired friend who was basically bouncing with excitement. "Naruto, calm down. Now is not the time to be giddy. We need to stay focused if we want everyone to make it out of her alive." Sakura chided him as he released her. All the people around her seemed to be on edge yet Naruto was acting like he was going out for his birthday.

Sasuke stood directly behind him but she couldn't bear to look at him. She hasn't been able to think of even a few words to him since he returned a month ago to join the village again. Sakura couldn't imagine how someone could turn their back on their village for so long, only to return and have things be perfectly normal again. It didn't make sense how easily he weaved back into everyone's hearts when he returned. She had been trying to find him for so long and now that he was actually back and constantly begging for her attention, she rejected him. The whole thing felt too alien and she wasn't going to risk having her heart broken again.

A hand landed on her shoulder and she turned her head to look at her former teacher, Kakashi. Sakura's stomach burst into butterflies as she gazed up at his face that only revealed one eye. It was also a little hard since he was a foot taller than her but even then, it only made her now burning cheeks to glow a dark red significantly more.

She didn't know what this feeling was that she experienced every time Kakashi turned up around her. It was almost like what she used to feel around Sasuke but so much more intense. His one exposed eye kindly looked upon her face and he couldn't help but admire her beauty.

The kunoichi's wide eyes were staring up at him and her pink hair lay limply against her shoulders from the intense heat blazing around them. He wished that he knew what he was feeling every time he saw her, the tightening of his stomach and restricted breath every time she looked at him should have been a clue, but the only thing that came to his mind was truly impossible. He didn't love Sakura; he merely was concerned for her safety, right?

"Sakura is right, Naruto. If you don't keep a level mind through all of this, someone will get hurt. I taught you all everything that I could in case something like this was to ever happen and I expect you all to use your skills." Kakashi told the three new Jonin. He removed his hand from Sakura's shoulder as a yearning to run his hands through her hair pulsed through him.

Naruto dismissed his words and ran off to find other people to annoy for the moment while the three then stood in awkwardness. Kakashi could barely contain himself from strangling Sasuke to death right in front of all these people, who was simply staring at the ground with an emotionless expression on his face.

He couldn't understand how the boy could run off and be companioned to one of the deadliest ninja to ever walk this Earth, and then walk back into the village a few years later and be accepted back whole-heartedly. He was different now; very straightforward and mischievous when around Naruto but then incredibly sweet around the girls, especially Sakura.

That just made Kakashi's blood boil like never before. How dare he try and kill her multiple times, break her heart, and then just return out of the blue and try and win her back? It didn't add up and honestly, he was glad that the girl rejected him every time, barely even batted him an eye at him. Kakashi had trained that girl since she was very young and the thought of her getting hurt pained him.

"All right everyone, I have a few words to say before our enemies arrive." Tsunade announced loudly from the hospital doors, capturing the attention of the twenty or so ninja standing around. Silence fell upon everyone once more as the blonde woman cleared her throat. "I apologize for the risk that I'm putting you all at right now but I have no other choice. You have all done your fair share for this village and I am more that appreciative of that, but now I need your help more than ever before. As we discussed before, Orochimaru and his followers are currently on their way after declining our peace efforts. They want Sasuke back but he can't have him. Uchiha is home to stay and for that reason, we will defend him until the end.

"Our families have been hidden and protected for their safety so we can solely direct our attention on our biggest problem. Some of you may lose your lives and we will forever remember and honor your bravery if that is to happen, but let's try and keep the casualties on their side, not ours. While the Sound nin have a small number to fight, they are strong and will kill anyone without any remorse or effort, so do not underestimate any of them. I'm leaving Orochimaru to Sasuke and myself while everyone else can just pick who they want to take down. Try not to let your egos get in the way. You are to handle one person at a time and if you see a teammate surrounded, help them if possible. Now, I think it's about time to go. Stay away from the large clearing, that's where Sasuke and I will be fighting and I don't want anyone getting hurt accidently for trying to help. The two of us can handle him. So go on, do your best and stay as safe as possible. Don't be stupid." Tsunade finished her speech with a small glare at Naruto who laughed out loud before bouncing away towards the trees of the forest.

With one last glance at her silver-haired companion, Kakashi, Sakura jumped into the trees with her comrades and decided to send out shadow clones while she blended into one tall tree in particular. Her four identical clones instantly spread out in different directions as she crouched low on a branch.

She had never heard the forest that is usually fluttering with life be so quiet. It was eerie and completely foreign. It wasn't a good thing when everyone was trying to hide. They could be heard so much easier now. She could see the last of the Leaf nin jumping into trees to blend in and some even hid under the ground, hoping that their opponents wouldn't pick up on their scent right away.

Suddenly, a loud explosion erupted from the direction that the clearing is in and all hell broke loose. Kunai and shuriken flew through the air from all directions. Sakura leapt from her hiding spot as a series of sharp weapons hit the trunk where she was just standing. As her feet touched the ground, a low chuckle reverberated in the air around her. She knew that whoever just decided to fight her was altering the sound around her already. The Sound nin were known for wasting no time when it came to battle.

While taking small notice how her comrades had all fled to other parts of the forest, leaving her all alone, she drew three kunai from a patch on her hip. From the shadows, Kabuto leisurely walked out, a small smirk on his lips.

"Well, Sakura, you have grown up quite a lot. If it weren't for your hair I wouldn't have recognized you." The white-haired man stepped closer before stopping and pushing his glasses further up his nose.

Sakura didn't want to jump right into the fight like she usually did; she wanted to play around and think about things first. This wasn't some B-ranked mission; this was life or death so she needed to plan out her strategy carefully.

She leaned back on her heels and smirked at him. "Isn't it a surprise meeting you here, Kabuto, and on such a lovely day too. Didn't have anyone else in mind to go after?"

The Sound nin chuckled. "No, I wasn't in the mood for some mediocre fight today. But with you, it would be interesting; the great student of Tsunade. You know, lots of people have heard of this surprising strength that you possess; any chance that I'll get to see it?"

Sakura was slightly surprised by his knowledge but she pushed the emotion back. "I don't know, I only use that when I'm angry. I might take you down before it comes to that point." She responded calmly.

Kabuto pushed his glasses up again and then crouched, getting into a fighting stance. "Let's see if I can coax it out of you then." He would try everything in his power to anger her. He wanted to see what all the rave was about when it came to this seemingly innocent girl.

Sakura quickly dodged the sharp weapons he threw at her and ran in a circle, coming up behind him before he could even blink. She kicked him in his back, sending him flying into a nearby tree. A cracking sound emanated from the dent in the wood form the impact of his body. She smiled brightly, realizing that he was nervous and therefore missing her fast movements.

Kabuto slowly climbed back to his feet and smirked. "Well, I see you've gotten fast. But I doubt you've gotten faster than sound itself." Suddenly, a terribly loud shrieking sound pulsed around Sakura as she dropped to her knees. She held her ears tightly while thinking of what to do.

'Wait, maybe if I interrupt the sound waves…' Sakura thought before stumbling to her feet. She ran over to the nearest tree and kicked it hard enough for it to snap in half and crash to the ground with a loud _thump_. The ringing in her ears stopped instantly.

Kabuto's eyes widened when Sakura smiled menacingly and stepped forward. "My turn." She said before disappearing. He whirled around repeatedly, trying to find where the pink-haired menace had gone to but he couldn't spot or smell her for the life of him. Distantly he could hear the sound of clashing kunai but he knew the girl hadn't given up on this fight; they both were too prideful for that, so he decided to draw her out with his words.

He smirked. "Maybe this is why Sasuke never returned your love. He knew you were too weak and would never be able to stand up for yourself. The only thing you've got helping you out is your strength and the fact you can kick like a damn horse." Not even a trig snapped at his tantalizations. A frown fell upon him as he thought about how much she really did change. Any ninja could feel the strong chakra she held within herself, it was obvious, but there was also anger; anger that he planned to play on.

"Come on Sakura, I know that you can at least do a little better than this. A fight between the two top medical ninja should be more interesting than this. What would your parents think? What would Kakashi think?" Kabuto questioned, his eyes wandering around his surroundings.

The second that he mentioned her family, Sakura dropped from the high branches of one tree and landed a few meters in front of him. Her back was turned to him while a tan cloak blocked the sight of her usual uniform. Kabuto frowned when he felt the enormous amount of chakra coming from her.

'There's no way that she can use this much chakra and still be able to stand so how is she still fighting?' Hiding his surprise, Kabuto threw a kunai at her but she didn't even move. The knife embedded itself deep into her back but she didn't flinch at all. His eyebrows drew together. There was no way that she would just allow him to do something like that especially if it was just simple taijutso.

Suddenly, what he thought was Sakura turned slowly to reveal a wooden figure of her, her hair an exact replica of the real girl. Her puppet seemed even more menacing than his opponent was and that sent his nerves on edge. 'Since when did she get a puppet and learn how to control it too?' Kabuto was horrified with his new discovery. 'I didn't research the young girl enough, obviously.'

The odds of this fight suddenly tipped in her favor. Sakura knew all of his tactics and fighting strategies but at this point, he knew nothing of what she was bringing to the field. It was all surprises.

Kabuto couldn't even smirk at that point as fear puddled in his stomach. Some fight this was turning out to be… The puppet shot forward with a blurring speed and began the intense battle. The two rolled around and flipped from each other's attacks. This was taking way longer than Kabuto thought it would. He figured that it would be over in minutes and now it's been at least a few hours of just fighting a puppet, not even the real thing.

The wooden figure stopped and stepped back, leaving the heavily breathing Kabuto to take a small break. "I'm impressed Sakura, I didn't know that the incident with Sasori had this kind of impact on you. I do have to say, puppetry suits you well. I wish that your parents could have seen you fight one last time." While he then expected the puppet to move again, he barely had time to grab a kunai when Sakura fell on top of him, stabbing him in the right shoulder while he embedded his weapon into her stomach.

They were breathing hard while Sakura dug the kunai into him more, forcing him further into the ground. Her blood dripped from her wound onto is hands while his blood stained the grass beneath him. "Don't EVER mention my parents. They have nothing to do with you. I let it slip the first time but two is just too much." Sakura growled.

Kabuto couldn't help but shudder at the incredibly crazed and angry look in her eyes. He knew that that was what he needed to say now to make her angry, talk about her parents. Despite the pain, he gave her a dazzling smile while realization dawned on her face.

"What did you do to them?!" she screamed, jumping back up onto her feet as if he never hurt her. The white-haired ninja stumbled up as well and tried stalling in order to figure out what to do next.

"Why sweetie, you didn't think we were just going to take down the Shinobi of the village, did you? No, that would not be good enough. We figured that if there were any of you that survived then we could find other ways to hurt you—," Kabuto barely had time to dodge the bombs that she then threw at him. They all made small explosions but he knew she wasn't done.

Sakura was beyond angry now. She realized that she would be using every ounce of her chakra to destroy this man. She wanted him to feel all of the pain that could be possibly inflicted.

A huge explosion went off about a mile and a few seconds later, a series of cheering from her comrades filled the space around the two battling nin. Orochimaru had finally been killed. Different chakras could be felt getting closer but she paid them no mind. She was just focusing on killing the man in front of her.

Kabuto looked very scared then, realizing that his supposedly unbeatable master had been killed finally. He was the last ninja left alive from his side and there was no escaping this one. With all of the Leaf shinobi surrounding them to watch the fight, there was no chance that he'd get past them all.

Sakura jerked on the chakra threads that were flowing from her hands and her puppet jumped into action again, taking all of the hits from kunai and shuriken while Sakura sent jutsu after jutsu at the young man. Faintly she realized that almost all of her friends were watching the remainder of the fight since the Leaf had technically already won. This was it; she was the last one fighting.

Sakura threw a huge ball of fire at Kabuto which he dodged but he didn't realize that her puppet had followed his movements and stabbed him with a series of knives. He stumbled backwards and then tried to talk to her again. He wanted to see her ultimate power before she killed him. He wanted to see what the weak little girl had turned out to be.

Kabuto unexpectedly slashed her across the chest and back before he pushed his glasses back up his nose and smirked while she fell to her knees and gasped in pain. "Well Kakashi would be proud, wouldn't he? Too bad you'll be digging his grave after all of this." He said cockily, another smirk resurfacing.

Panic and unimaginable anger filled the young woman at the very comment of her former sensei. Kakashi couldn't be dead, right? No, Kabuto has been here the whole time so he wouldn't even know if Kakashi is dead. She couldn't help but allow the panic to eat away at her insides though. She was more worried about how Kakashi turned out than any other shinobi fighting with her. 'It's just because you've known him for so long.' She tried to convince herself.

Kabuto realized that he almost pushed her to her limit so he said that one thing that truly made the girl snap. "I hope you have fun holding a funeral for your parents and dear Kakashi. Why don't you give them my apologies while you're there?"

That was the end of it. He cried out in horror when he could see her chakra flow around her and cover her feet and arms. Her small body was shivering in anger and before he could even blink, she ran at him with unimaginable speed and hit him into the ground as hard as she could. Her vision was filled with a hazy red as she felt his body slip further and further into the rock-hard ground under the force of her fist.

An explosion larger than the one from miles away erupted in the small clearing, breaking and blowing away trees all around them while bits of the debris cut deep into her skin. Kabuto died on impact, but Sakura couldn't help but stab him one more time in the heart to assure that he wasn't just faking it.

She was panting hard, blood dripping onto the destroyed ground from the slashes in her skin. He had hurt her badly but she wasn't even paying attention to that right now. While cheers sounded around her as the Leaf nin jumped up from their hiding places, Sakura took a huge breath of relief when her eyes met those of Kakashi's. He had his sharingan exposed but as soon as she saw that he was safe, she took off towards the village as fast as she could.

Villagers were coming out of hiding and cheering in happiness that their village had won but she paid no mind to them. Her thoughts were on her family.

After jumping from roof to roof, her two story house came into view. She dropped down by the front door quickly but froze when she realized that it was cracked open. A feeling of dread like no other settled upon her as she slid her shaking fingers around the wood and pushed it open. Tears brimmed her eyes.

"No." she whispered. The house was destroyed, picture frames shattered and furniture ripped to shreds. There were deep scratches in the walls and glasses from the kitchen were laying in sharp pieces everywhere. "Mom, dad?" she called out, stepping into the home that was perfectly clean just this morning.

The sun was setting in the West, creating an eerie glow to light up the walls faintly. Sakura walked slowly in, leaving the door wide open behind her. There was no response to her calls and at that point, she didn't expect there to be.

Sakura moved towards her parent's bedroom, whose door was also cracked open. She didn't waste any time pushing it open to reveal its horror.

Her parents were on the floor and their blood was everywhere. The repulsive red liquid was smeared on the walls and floor, making the gruesome discovery seem more like a horror film than reality.

A strangled cry slipped past her lips as she ran to the two people who truly loved her and slid onto her knees. They were side-by-side and their eyes were already closed, almost as if in their last moments they just allowed this to happen. The tears that she had holding back leaked from her eyes as she frantically slipped one hand onto each of their chests.

Using the remainder of her chakra, Sakura tried to heal them, hoping it wouldn't be too late. She was already weak after using so much chakra and energy for the fight but she didn't care. Horrible and painful sobs emanated from her chest when neither person's heartbeat started up again.

Sakura started screaming louder than she has ever done so before. The hurt in her chest was excruciating while she forced more and more power from her into the two people who she could always count on to be there.

Banging could be heard from downstairs and the thumping of feet running sounded soon after. She didn't care who it was though, or whether or not they were here to kill her. They might as well do it.

The broken cries and screams never ceased, even when the gasp of whoever had followed her could be heard. She was shaking uncontrollably on the floor as the blood of those who raised her soaked into her clothes and stained her skin. She cried harder when realizing it was still warm.

Two strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her up from the floor. Sakura began thrashing and screaming but her protests were growing weaker. Her chakra levels were damn near nonexistent and the loss of energy from the fight as well as her injuries extent was all taking a toll on her.

She was turned around to face Kakashi who stared of her worriedly and inspected her distraught form. His words of comfort did not help her, as he lifted her up into his arms and turned towards the door. She was still sobbing but everything about her was quieting down, which worried him.

Under any other circumstances, he would have been extremely happy when she curled her tiny and bloody fingers around his vest to pull herself closer to him, but now all he could do was panic when she limply let go of reality.


	2. Chapter 2- Where She Went

Chapter 2: Kakashi

"She could wake up any time now. It all depends on when her mind decides that she can handle everything that has happened." Tsunade told me, staring intently at the face of her unconscious student.

Sakura has been out of it since the day of the fight and it was worrying everyone. She had sustained by far the worst injuries out of everyone in the Hidden Leaf that fought and it has been killing me every second that I haven't seen her usually smiling face.

It's been three days since the discovery of her parents and now everyone in the village knows of it. Just like the bastards they are, they all treat it like its gossip but the people who really know her, her fellow shinobi, are truly worried; myself included.

I heaved a deep sigh and walked over to the chair by the window and sat down. I haven't left the hospital room since I carried her in and neither has Naruto, who was snoring loudly in the chair on the other side of her bed.

Flowers of various colors and scents decorated the small room from different people who had come in to see how she was doing but all of them were sent away quickly by Naruto, who seems to have become her lap dog. He practically growled at the nurse for coming in to change her bandages.

"I hope so." I responded monotonously. Tsunade gave me a small smile before turning to leave.

"Over the last few months, I've noticed that Sakura doesn't hang out with anyone anymore. She stays late and comes in early for both her nurse shift and our training sessions. I don't know how she handles the pressure and stress, but I know this will push her over the edge." She told me in a grave tone.

I perked up a little. "And what does this have to do with anything?" I questioned her.

The woman sighed. "It means that I want you to watch her. I won't send you on any more missions if you can do this for me. There will be hundreds of people lining up and pretending to be her friend for the ten seconds of fame they think that they'll get but there are only a handful of those who will actually be there to support her. Kakashi, I want you to be one of them."

I glanced at her sleeping figure before back to the Hokage. "You know that I would have been there for her without you assigning it to me anyway." I responded.

She smiled at me. "I know." Without one last look at me, she disappeared behind the door. I listened to her footsteps down the hall until she went into a new room.

My thoughts began to travel again when I looked upon her beautiful face. She was so pure and innocent yet at the soft age of nineteen, she is being subjected to all of this heartache. It killed me to imagine her only a month ago when Sasuke showed up at the hospital when Tsunade, Sakura, Naruto, and I were going over a mission we had just returned from.

She had looked like she wanted to kill him at the same time that tears had brimmed those amazing eyes of hers. That's when I started to truly hate the young Uchiha. I had disliked him after all the years he ran from his past and into the hands of pure evil. I didn't like to see Naruto and Sakura hurt themselves on a monthly basis just to search for him but when he waltzed back like he was only gone for a few days, it truly hurt Sakura more than all the years of running, and he knew that.

He has stopped by a few times to see her but Naruto, even though he's now best friends with him again, didn't let him in. Naruto didn't have a choice with me though. The young boy is indeed naïve but he is smart enough to know that bossing me around is not a good thing to do.

"Kakashi, how do you think she'll react?" Naruto asked me suddenly. I snapped my head up to see he had woken up and was staring at his teammate with a very sad expression. I looked at her too and thought of an answer to give him.

"I don't really know. Knowing Sakura, she will cry some, well, a lot, and then she'll get on with her life and use this as a way to be a stronger friend and ninja. She is very good at finding the good in situations. This particular one might just take a little bit longer than usual." I told him.

He nodded and I noticed how a tear fell from his face and onto his pants. "It'll be me and you looking after her, right? I don't trust anyone else to be near her. I've never seen her so hurt before and," he swallowed hard. "I don't want to think about what could've happened if Kabuto had killed her. I never realized how vulnerable she really is; how close to death she can come to. She's always been the strong one of the group and I'm determined to not let anything happen to her again." He said determinedly as another tear fell.

Hell, I wanted to cry with him. "You're right; she always has been the strong one of the group because she isn't impulsive. Sakura tends to think about where her actions will bring her and that's why she's never been seriously injured like this before. You and Sasuke always fought first, thought later, and that's not a good thing." I stood up and walked over to the window. Kids were playing in the streets and vendors were trying to sell their goods to any walking citizens with a little change in their pockets.

"Naruto, we will be there for her. It probably will be just me and you. She won't be going back to work for a while and therefore it will be up to us to support her. Can you handle that?" I asked him, knowing that answer I was going to get already.

He shot form his chair. "Of course I can! I mean, I already helped clean up her house so she can go back when Grandma Tsunade releases her from here." He said excitedly.

I nodded my head. "That's good." I mumbled. Would she even want to go back to her home after everything she saw there? I know that if I were her, I definitely wouldn't, only because I'm not one to deal with bad memories very well. Sakura was strong though, physically and mentally, and may handle this all in a totally unexpected way.

My thoughts drifted to the way she grew up so wonderfully. When I had first taken on Team seven, she had no confidence and really wasn't good at much. She would always follow the rules and never deviated from what she was told to do. But even from the start, she would defend her loved ones to the end. Something in my gut told me she was going to blame her parent's death on herself.

What the Hokage said resurfaced in my mind. "Naruto, why did you stop hanging out with Sakura over the past few months? Tsunade said that she has been working herself to exhaustion every day and no one has been here to take her out."

Naruto looked down guiltily at his lap. "I didn't mean to Kakashi-sensei, it's just that ever since Hinata and I started getting close and Sasuke came back we kind of drifted apart." He admitted, running the back of his neck. As soon as I gave him a dirty look, he started waving his hands round frantically with eyes as big as saucers. "I didn't completely forget about her! I just forgot that I was the only one she ever associated with when we returned from the last mission."

I sighed heavily in aggravation. "I just don't understand that. Sakura has been there for you every second since you three were first put on a team together. When you couldn't fight anymore, she would push you to the side so that you didn't get hurt and she would fight in your place. Sasuke left the village for revenge and power and she always was supportive of you. But still, as soon as Sasuke comes back, you completely forget about her. Don't forget that while you two did have your angry moments, she accepted you when no one else did." He came to be very quiet then, sagging back into his seat slowly. I could see how much my words were taking a toll on him but he needed to hear it.

I rubbed my mouth through my mask, an odd habit that I seemed to do whenever waiting for someone else to talk. "You know, I've never thought about it like that, sensei." He said next, very gently. His voice grew strength after that but still had a serious tone to it. "I will be there for her now though. I can promise you that much. What kind of Hokage would just leave their friends like that?" he asked, mostly to himself with distant eyes.

I stepped away from the window and sent him a sympathetic look. "Naruto, everyone makes mistakes. Being a Hokage doesn't mean that you have to be completely perfect your entire life, it means that you learned from the mistakes that you've made and became a greater person because of it." I lectured.

Abruptly, a change in Sakura's breathing pattern had me wheeling my head in her direction. I picked up on the slight squeezing of her eyelids as they scrunched up more. I knew she was awake right then but she was only pretending to still be asleep. An idea came to me.

"Why don't you go and get some ramen for lunch, Naruto? You've been here entirely too long and it would be good for you to get some fresh air." I made sure my voice came across more of a command than anything else. Maybe she just wanted to be left alone but I wanted to talk to her.

Naruto stared at me in the eye until he realized that my offer wasn't exactly an option. He stood up and walked to the door. "I'll be back in a little bit Kakashi, alright?" he said, and shut the door behind him without really waiting for my response.

Normally I would've chuckled at his actions but I listened for the ceasing of his footsteps. Apparently, so was Sakura. "Finally, I thought he was going to fight you on the lunch thing." Her raspy voice filled the room. I quickly stepped forward and sat down on the edge of the bed, right next to her hip.

I was surprised that she wasn't crying already. Obviously she remembered everything because she wasn't freaking out right now. "How are you feeling?" I asked the first thing that came to my mind, searching over her flawless skin.

She lifted her slender fingers to push the pink strands of hair out of her face; her eyes as hard as stone. "I'm in pain. Kabuto got me pretty good, huh?"

I smiled sadly, though she couldn't see it from beneath my mask. "Yeah, he did. It's been three days since the fight and Tsunade has given you everything she can possibly think of to heal you. Now it's up to you to."

She blatantly ignored what I said. "When's the funeral?" she asked bluntly, surprising me beyond belief. This wasn't like Sakura. I would have thought she would be screaming and crying but neither was taking place. She was calmer than I think I've ever seen her.

I swallowed hard; uncomfortable with how this was all turning out. "Um, tomorrow. We already picked out flowers and coffins since you didn't wake up right away and the ceremony has been set up already."

Her eyes seemed to grow harder then, like she was forcing every ounce of emotion into a safe and locking it up. This was so unlike her. "Did Tsunade mention when I will start working again?" her voice was monotonous but her chest rose and fell rapidly.

I was taken aback. "Working? Sakura, with the injuries you sustained, you shouldn't even be alive right now. You were completely drained of chakra when I found you and you had passed out from severe blood loss. It should be months before you're even allowed to lift a finger for anyone else!" I exclaimed. Working was what she was worried about?

Her cold eyes stared right into my one exposed eye with such intensity that I flinched back. "Yes, working. I have a house to pay for now, and bills, and food, and I have to do it all on my own. So despite being hurt, I have to suck it up and do what needs to be done." She hissed, anger seizing her.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My voice came out weaker than I intended it to. "Sakura, you don't have to do it all by yourself. I can help and Naruto offered too. We're here for you."

A humorless laugh escaped her pink, chapped lips that seemed so perfect against her flawless, pale skin. Oh, how I just want to see one of those beautiful blushes against her cheeks again… "I don't need help Kakashi…" I cut her off by grabbing onto her shoulders lightly and forcing her to look at me.

I didn't want to hear her talk like this. It wasn't her; the whole 'cold and lonesome' card was always played by Sasuke and Sakura is NOT going to be like him, not if I can help it. "Sakura, cry if you need to. Scream and cry and break stuff and hit me but don't shut yourself out. Don't block me out, please. I'm here for you even if no one else would be. I've always been here for you. What you're going through is sad but not letting people in to your heart will make you just like Sasuke. Don't be like Sasuke, please." I begged.

Minutes went by with us just staring at each other. Every few seconds, her eyes would soften and gradually, her hands began to shake. I could see the tears well up in her eyes and the cold exterior she had up moments ago practically exploded into a thousand pieces.

A sob broke from her chest and it was the saddest sound imaginable. Never has her crying affected me like this before and I couldn't help but want to carry her out of here and away from the rest of the world. I wanted to personally shield her from her pain and make her happy. I loved the way she smiled and the way she could hold out her own in a fight.

Her shaking hands hid her tear soaked face from me so instead of pulling them away, I wrapped my arms around her small frame and held her. I let her cry because she did need it. Faintly, I could smell the cherry blossom shampoo in her hair. I somewhat smiled at how ironic it was that she had the beauty, scent, and name of a cherry blossom. It was yet another thing that made her special.

"I can't believe they're gone, Kakashi. I could've saved them if I wasn't so damn stupid!" she wailed into my shoulder, sobbing again.

I was immediately shaking my head in disagreement. "No, no Sakura, there was nothing you could've done. Kabuto was a handful and even though you killed him faster than anyone else would have been able to, there was no way that you could've taken care of him fast enough to save your parents too. By the time you got to your house, you had no chakra anyway. You would've died right alongside of them."

Her only response was a devastating cry that pierced my heart again. I hate that I can't help her. I hate that I didn't take her place in the fight so that she could've sustained less injuries to start with. I hated myself for allowing this to happen.

I attempted to push her gently down on the bed so that she could relax again but the petite girl, despite her size, gripped my vest with undeniable strength, holding me in my place. If it were anyone else doing that, grieving or not, I would have pulled away but this is Sakura. She meant more to me than just the average shinobi.

I could only image what my deceased comrade, Obito, would be saying right now; probably teasing me along the lines of _'The Great Infallible Kakashi: breaking down for a helpless woman._' In fact, I was sure that's what he would be saying.

My focus was regained back on the girl in my arms, who suddenly gasped loudly and hissed through her teeth in pain. I jumped back of course, thinking I was the one who injured her more. Sakura pressed a gentle hand to the red-stained hospital gown she was wearing. Tsunade had warned everyone of this; Kabuto had used a special jutsu while fighting that assured no chakra could heal the injuries that it passed to its opponent. Therefore, Sakura had stitches lining almost her whole body, no doubt leaving scars. One set of them must have ripped open again.

The Haruno girl before me was automatically back to her old ways in a second, giving me an assuring glance and lying through her damn teeth. "I'm fine, Kakashi. It just took me by surprise, that's all. It barely hurts." She said, shifting to hide the growing red stain. I noticed how she tilted her head down so that I couldn't see the next set of tears that rolled down her precious face.

She reminded me of the twelve year-old girl she was just eight years ago, trying to hide her weaknesses so that it didn't appear as if she were dragging the team down. Of course I first thought she would drag us down, and on many occasions, she did. Sakura was never the strong one of the group until Sasuke left. That's when I first saw it; the strength hidden behind her emotional side, but it was there nonetheless.

Now, her bravery and monstrous strength is all I saw in her; that and her beauty. What she sees in herself as 'weak' is in all reality a human breaking down and just not having the energy or will power to get back up again. Tsunade had told me of all the times Sakura would cry, saying that she was the weakest shinobi in the village because she would pass out from working at the hospital for three straight days without any sleep and barely any food.

Sakura was a hard worker and did the best she could do to succeed in everything possible. She was one of the few shinobi who was able to put all past problems aside in order to save the lives of those she loved. She was one of the people that I've grown to enjoy spending time with. Unlike most of those in Konaha, she didn't mind my silence and over the past few years, she became a quiet too. Now, we would just sit in silence, just recognizing each other's presence. It was nice compared to everyone trying to harass words out of me.

I gently put my fingers under her chin and lifted her head so that I could see those mystical eyes of hers. The glistened of course, and no happiness or patience that was always there were harbored in their depths. I felt for her, remembering how broken I had felt when Obito and Rin died.

"Sakura, it's okay to admit that you're in pain. I can go get Tsunade and she can give you more pain medication." I told her softly, wiping a tear away with my thumb as it slid past her nose.

Her eyes filled again. "I don't know what I'm going to do. It- it hurts so much!" she sobbed again, bending over herself and holding her hands to her heart. I knew she wasn't talking about her injuries, but the loss in her heart.

This wasn't something that was in my zone of experience at all. With Sasuke, he took his feelings of grief and turned it into anger and violence. Naruto was just an overly happy guy all the time unless in a battle. I've never had to truly deal with a grieving shinobi that I was close to.

I put my arms around her again as I thought back to the past eight years; the eight years that put more distance between Sakura and I than ever before. I started to drift away from her when the feelings became too much, when she would smile and I would get jealous of whoever made her so happy, when she would get angry and I couldn't help but love the look on her face because it was just so damn _cute_. But I left her to become lonelier because it was wrong to be attracted to my student like that.

Now, all of those feelings are coming back and I have no idea how avoid them. This time I'm not leaving her, no, this time I'm going to help her and whatever happens, happens.

I heard Naruto's returning footsteps but he stopped right outside of the closed door when he heard his teammate's obvious distress. The boy was never good with a woman's tears, even from a young age. Well, neither am I but I would always put aside my discomfort for her.

A few hours later, when the sun was falling, signaling the end of yet another day, Sakura stopped crying and just laid back on the pillow, her emotionless gaze focused on the orange sky through the window. I had opened it earlier, so a small breeze fluttered the checkered curtains.

The area around Sakura's eyes was red and puffy but it didn't take away from the stunning beauty that her face and body held. I leaned forward and tightened the sheets around her body. She didn't look away from the sunset while she spoke. "This isn't a dream this time, is it Kakashi?" Even though her face was void of any emotion, her voice was coated with obvious pain.

'What does she mean, "this time?"' I thought to myself. That was a question for the Hokage later on. "No, Sakura, this is no dream." I murmured softly, taking one of her hands in mine. I couldn't help but relish in the feeling of her soft, warm skin against mine.

This time, one lone tear escaped and fell down her cheek as her beautiful eyes closed. I refused to leave her though. I didn't want to walk through the town of bastards talking of the Haruno murders; I didn't want to see the shinobi who had made it out of the war unscathed. I wanted to stay right there beside the pink-haired kunoichi. I wanted to stay right by my little cherry blossom.


	3. Chapter 3- Welcome Back

A low hum of voices surrounded me, dragging me out of drug-induced state and into the world of the living. Before even opening my eyes, I knew where I was. The lumpy mattresses and strong scent of sterility that clung to the air was a dead giveaway.

The morphed tones of someone talking soon split into distinctly four people, only one of which I actually wanted to be in the presence of; Kakashi. Tsunade was talking quietly for once and seemed to instantly notice that I woke up because any side conversation she was having before with Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi was dropped quickly.

A hand rubbed against my forehead and something cool and damp was put in its place. "You're awake." She said gently, giving me a sad smile when I opened my eyes. It was weird seeing her act like this just because I'm so used to dealing with her angry and temperamental side almost twenty hours a day.

"Yeah." My throat was raspy and hurt like hell. Sasuke, who as standing next to Naruto on the left of the bed passed me a cup of water. I took it gratefully with shaking hands but the cool liquid did feel so nice against my throat.

No one really knew what to say after that. I was looking at my hands while the four most important people in my life stared at me as if I were about to shatter. Even though I feel like doing just that, I can't. I am in charge of my own life now. To stay alive, I need become independent and having them wait on me hand and foot is not going to solve any of my problems.

Naruto cleared his throat and thankfully drew everyone's attention away from me. It didn't look like he'd been crying but it sure did sound like it. "Sakura, I can only imagine how hard this is for you but please know that we are here to help. I don't want you to ever feel alone so if you ever need me, just give me a call, please." He said sincerely.

Kakashi nodded his head in agreement. "I believe that goes for all of us. We will always be there for you Sakura."

I didn't say anything on that subject, afraid of breaking down again so I looked at Tsunade. "When will I be released from here?"

For the first time, her face lit up a tiny bit in happiness. "Well, we found an herb that detoxifies the open wounds that Kabuto gave you so after I rubbed that on the cuts and healed them with my chakra, they almost closed up completely. There aren't any signs of infections so all that's left is a few broken bones that are being a little stubborn." She ranted. I could tell that she was trying to make as least traumatizing as possible.

"So, when can I go home?"

"Oh, right, yes, you can leave as early as tonight but you have to promise me that you are going to take it easy. All the rules that you give to injured shinobi apply to you now and I will be sending someone every day to make sure that you are upholding your promise. Understood?" she asked with a hand on her hip and the usual strict tone creeping into her voice.

'Fat chance, no way am I going to sit back and relax after all of this…' I thought, but gave her the best smile I could muster up under the circumstances. I'm not going to be the one who points out how completely wrong she is by sending me home this soon. I've always told trauma victims that it's best to be surrounded by supportive people instead of being alone but now I'm so being hypocritical by doing exactly what I told them not to do; hide behind the biggest walls they could possibly build to hide my feelings. No one in this village will get the opportunity to see me break. No, I'll do that at night when I'm alone and in the comforts of my own bed.

A thought occurred to me and along with it, the feeling of nausea built up in my body rather quickly. "Um, it's…clean, right?" I asked.

A grimace crossed the faces of all of them but Naruto nodded softly as a response. "I helped clean it myself." He mumbled.

Normally, I would have sworn up and down for him doing a job that I could've easily done myself such as cleaning my own home but this time I let it slide without I word because I know that I wouldn't have been able to clean that up. There's no way that I'd be able to handle that.

"And the funeral is today?"

Everyone looked at their feet. "Yes," Sasuke said. "The ceremony is at the memorial in about a half hour. That's what we really wanted to talk to you about."

I nodded. "If I'm being released tonight, how will I be able to go?"

Naruto spoke this time. I felt like this whole conversation was rehearsed with the way they kept switching up who was answering my questions. "Well, we are going to have the main memorial for everyone else and then later tonight we will take you up to see them." He said quietly, the calmest I've ever seen the boy in my life.

'No, no I want to see them now,' I thought to myself. Being in a little pain isn't going to stop me from seeing my parents for the last time. "Alright then why don't you guys go and then just come back to pick me up later? I'll be fine on my own for a few hours."

Hesitation flickered across all of their faces but Kakashi stepped in, somehow making the decision for everyone. "That's okay, Sakura; we will pick you up at sunset." Tsunade raised her eyebrow at him but it was ignored. After a few seconds, her stern expression fell and she began to mumble incoherent words about 'no respect to the Hokage' while pushing Naruto and Sasuke out of the door in front of her. My former sensei crinkled his right eye at me, his other eye being covered, and followed the three who had left before him.

I listened to their fading footsteps down the hallway before abruptly sitting up. "I'm not a child, they don't get to choose when I leave or stay." I whispered to myself, ripping the many needles out of my arm in a manner that I knew wasn't safe. I just didn't care about my own life at this point. What good was coming out of it?

Pain was rippling across my chest and shoulder but I ignored it, quickly locating the bag that held my newly cleaned clothes in it. As I held one of the many training outfits that I owned, I noticed how the red of my shirt was darkened considerably where the blood from my wounds and my parents' had soaked into the fabric, forever staining it. There were rips all over it, even the shorts, but I had nothing else to wear.

I fought against the water pooling in my eyes, knowing that they will have their own time to fall later tonight when I was alone in my now-empty house. I felt embarrassed in the outfit when I looked in the full-body mirror behind the door. I looked like an average shinobi girl who should have been able to protect the ones she loved. But I'm not strong enough. My parents are dead because I was too weak to save them.

Without consent, my feat floated to the open window where I flung myself up onto the ledge. It was such a nice day but in the distance, I could see dark, rumbling clouds drifting towards the village. Without any regard to my wounds, I heaved myself over the edge and started to jump from roof to roof towards the area in which every shinobi in Konaha stood.

My feet landed with a soft thud as they touched the soft green grass beneath me at the memorial. Every eye turned to me then, eight in particular widening more so than the others surrounding them. Of course they all probably felt terrible about not keeping an eye on me when they knew I was in turmoil but I was beyond caring.

The big crowd parted in front of me with each step I took. My eyes were glued to the ground and even when I stood in between the two glossy coffins, I didn't dare look up. Not a single word was spoken from anyone and from where I was it didn't sound like they were breathing either.

A loud boom a thunder ricochet off the trees around us the second I placed one hand on each oak box. It felt smooth under my touch and I found my head dipping lower in realization of what I was doing.

Under my hands were the bodies of the two people I will never get the chance to see smiling again. I will never wake up to the smell of my mom's cooking and I will never hear my father's infectious laughter that always surrounded me in his presence. Never again will I go home from a long day of training and be treated to a prepared warm bath and a hot cup of tea, compliments of the both of them. Never again will I hear them chiding me over my training wounds; never again…

"I'm sorry that I failed you." I spoke aloud, a sob threatening to break loose. _'No, not here,'_ I thought to myself, straightening my spine until I was standing. Slowly, I pulled two cherry blossoms from a pouch on my hip and laid one on top of each coffin.

As soon as I placed my hands on top of them both one last time, I ran away. I had to if I wanted to keep my composure clear until I was by myself.

The rain started to pour down as soon as my house came into view but almost as if the very sight was a drug, my running was reduced down to a sluggish walk. My feet sloshed against the ground beneath me as I walked up two steps and slid open the front door.

Just as Naruto had promised, everything was clean. The smashed glass from a few days before had been promptly cleared as well as the smears of blood. The hardwood floors were scuffed up and had deep slashes in them but nothing could help that.

Without thinking, I found myself walking into the kitchen to unlock a hidden cupboard beneath the rug that sat in front of the sink. My father had always said that a cup of sake every now and again wasn't bad. I wonder whether or not he would approve of this.

Bottle after bottle lined the racks that he had set up under the latched door so I just pulled out the first one my hand touched and closed up the door again, placing the rug back over it. Numbly, I pulled the cork out of swiftly brought the bottle to my lips.

I've never tasted the alcohol before but almost like I've been drinking it my entire life, I ignored the terrible burning in my throat and chugged it. Never again would my parents be able to wish me a good day at work. Never again will they nag me for falling asleep right before dinner.

I stumbled into my living room, glaring at everything. "I wasn't good enough. I was never good enough." I said angrily, slashing my arm across the table in front of the couch and watching everything crash to the ground. Why wasn't it breaking?

That just made me more upset and I brought the bottle to my lips, downing a large portion again. "I wasn't good enough for Sasuke, I wasn't good enough to ever protect my teammates, so why did I ever think I was good enough to protect you too?" I roared, running to the kitchen again and throwing every cup and bowl I could get my hands on at the wall.

I was more satisfied with the sound of shattering glass this time. A humorless chuckle left my lips and I found myself drowning out the last of my anger with the rest of the bottle. That's when the tears came.

I stumbled out of the destroyed room and up the stairs where the memories began to flood into my mind. _Blood on the walls, scratch marks on the wall._ A sob broke through me as I fell to my hands and knees right in front of my parent's closed bedroom door. I lay my cheek against the cool floor, crying and screaming, begging them to come back to me but I couldn't find the strength the go into the room that I found them in. I didn't dare try either.

How could they ever forgive me? How could anyone ever forgive me? I was weak, sobbing on the floor and drunk. Is this the kind of shinobi anyone would what to have in their village?

I don't know what time it was when I fell asleep and but it wasn't the kind of sleep I wanted or needed. The very moment I closed my eyes, images of my parent's horror-ravaged bodies filled my mind and all I could do was scream and scream as I watched Kabuto draw filthy lines and pictures on their bodies with a black kunai that he clutched in his hand.

The absolutely terrifying grin that he often possessed graced his lips and it killed me to see them begging for my help but, being the worthless ninja I am, could do no more than stare in utter fear as the ones I loved the most, were ripped away from me.

Kakashi:

Tsunade sat at her desk with large tears welling up in her eyes. Honestly, I had cried too when I had stepped into the Haruno home and saw the disaster that the young Kunoichi had done all on her own.

"Is she okay?" Tsunade asked, wringing her hands together. Naruto and Sasuke sat in the two chairs in front of me and listened intently, obviously worried about their distraught teammate.

I sighed, and rubbed the back of my neck. "No, not really. I had to clean up her house again and tomorrow I'm going to have to buy her an entire new kitchen set since she utterly destroyed the one she had. It took me a good hour to clean up all of that glass." I said. "She was passed out in front of her parent's door with an empty bottle of sake next to her. I don't know where she found it but there wasn't a drop left of it." I told them. My explanation also explained why I was so late; not like they would be upset over something so miniscule this time.

Tsunade sighed sadly and brushed away the tears that had landed on her cheeks. "Well I expect to see her here tomorrow because she's too damn stubborn to stay home and I know she won't listen if I tell her to leave but next time any of you stop to see her, please take the time to find all of the sake there. Don't need a grieving alcoholic on my hands. I wouldn't even know because the damn girl knows how to heal the headache and bloodshot eyes. I guess I taught her a little too well."

Naruto stood up then, looking completely helpless. "Sakura is a lot smarter than we think she is. If she wants to hide the damn alcohol then she will and we won't ever find it until she wants us to." He muttered, pacing now in the small confines of the Hokage's office.

I knew he was right, Sakura could easily hide something like that and probably will show up tomorrow for her hospital shift. I just hope that she won't hurt herself in the coping process.

"What did you do with her?" Sasuke asked, standing up as well. Naruto stopped pacing and stared at me as if daring me to say that I left her on the floor.

"I just put her in her own bed and left some water on the bed-side table. It was cold in the house so I put another blanket on her so she didn't get cold." I responded, rubbing my eyes. I was so tired…

"Well, it's been a long day for all of us. Thank you for your help but I'm hoping that you can keep helping her too. I'll need someone to stop by at least once a day to check on her. I don't trust her being alone with all of this going on. I've never really seen Sakura grieve so I don't know how she is going to react to all of this." Tsunade requested. More tears slipped down her face. I know this is hard on her too. Sakura's the equivalent of a daughter to her.

I nodded my head and looked at the floor so that no one could see the moisture growing in my own eyes. "I'll protect her with my life, even if it's from herself." I vowed as the tears finally fell.


	4. Chapter 4- Breaking Down

Chapter 4- Sakura

I shot upright in my bed, gasping for the air that I couldn't breathe in fast enough. Beads of sweat lingered on the skin all over my body making the already-stuffy room seem even more suffocating.

The dream of Kabuto killing my parents was so vivid and it bothered me deeply how real it seemed. The way he grinned at me and the way light would bounce off of his glasses and blind me distractingly for just enough time to deliver the final blow to the two that I loved so dearly, ending their lives. Why couldn't it be me that's gone? Why did it have to be such kind, loving people?

The sun wasn't even up yet but the time on my alarm clock announced that on a normal day, I would be getting up to go to the hospital for my shift right now. My thoughts drifted to the idea of stacks of paperwork piling up on my desk with every day that I missed a work and after the dread of it all, the idea of working until I couldn't stand anymore seemed very appealing.

_'Maybe I can just go in for a few hours and then come home. Surely Tsunade wouldn't be mad at me for that, right?' _No, she wouldn't mind if I only caught up on the work I missed. After all, I would only be there for a few hours.

I unraveled my legs from the white sheets that entangled them and swiftly ran to the bathroom to take a shower. I barely glanced in the fogged-up mirror on my way back to my room but I could still see the puffy red ring around both of my eyes. I guess all that cover-up that Ino bought me a few years back would come in handy now.

After getting dressed in my usual work outfit, I leaned over so that I was only a few inches from my own reflection. Slowly, I brushed the tan liquid from my finger onto the areas around my eyes, eliminating all the evidence of my sleep-less night and crying.

_'Ino would be proud…' _I thought, staring in wonder at my complexion. I looked like I did on a normal day, not as if my parents had tragically passed away only a few short days ago.

After deciding that it would be best to be on time for my shift, I quickly put a few dollars in my pocket for lunch like I did every day and proceeded to run out of my house as fast as I could. I realized halfway there that running late did not suite me that well this early in the morning.

When I finally made it to the hospital, I strode in confidently just like any normal day and threw a quick "hello" to the woman who worked at the front desk. It's sad that I still didn't know her name but it's not like I ever had to show her my I.D. or anything. Since I'm Tsunade's apprentice, most just stay out of my way.

My regular fast-paced walk led me straight to the nurse's station where I grabbed my clipboard and automatically began my rounds on patient check-ups. _'I'll just check and make sure that everyone is okay and then I'll begin the paperwork in my office,'_ I told myself; or at least, that's what I'd told myself then.

Seven hours later, when my shift is supposed to end, I had already done double rounds on all the patients, completed one minor injury surgery on one girl's arm, and completely flew through all the stacks of paper on my desk, sorting them into the appropriate file cabinets and filling out what needed my signature and approval.

Just as I was about to get up from my seat to leave and go home, a scroll that had rolled under my desk caught my attention. After opening it and skimming through the contents, all ideas of going to my house dwindled into nothing. The very scroll that I had spent hours looking for a few days before the war was under my desk all along!

Instead of feeling angry though, a strange sadness coursed through me. This scroll had a drawn picture of a male body and it showed in great detail the major arteries all throughout the human anatomy. The words that had obviously been quickly scrawled down in my own handwriting glared back at me. _'If only I had perfected this jutsu sooner, then I would have been able to kill Kabuto quick enough to save my parents.'_

Tsunade had told me that controlling the blood flow of someone during a battle took an unimaginable amount of chakra; so much in fact that even she hasn't been able to do this jutsu. Maybe if I had trained a little harder, a little longer; maybe then everything in my world wouldn't be falling to pieces.

I could sense the woman behind me before she even spoke. "Sakura, the only reason why you should be here is if you are in pain but that doesn't seem to be the case." Tsunade said. She sounded just as sad as I'm sure her face was portraying.

"I didn't want to deal with stacks of paperwork." I replied, keeping my tone emotionless. I didn't want to seem like I was weak since I already let the whole village down. What a shameful person I am…

My mentor's hand lightly touched my shoulder in comfort but I refused to look at her; I didn't want to see the disappointment that I'm sure she's feeling. "I wanted you to rest at home. Stressing yourself out at work isn't a good way to deal with anything."

Tears pricked my eyes. _'I'm not dealing with anything; I'm suffering.' _I thought but bit my tongue before the wretched words could be released. It would do my no good for her to know how bad off I really am. "Did you need something?" I asked instead.

Tsunade sighed and released my shoulder before casually walking around my office, taking in how clean it looks now opposed to before. "Sai just arrived back to the village. I had sent him and a few other shinobi to dispose of the Sound nin's bodies but he just now found out about your… situation." She said uneasily. I could feel her eyes on my face, testing to see how I would react. "He requested to see you and I thought maybe it would be good for you to get away from your hospital duties."

I looked up at her after roughly reeling in my strong emotions. "It's my first day back at work; I don't need to get away from here. It's my job."

"I know but Sakura, you shouldn't be here right now. I don't want you overdoing it. I think it would be best for you to take a few months off. Between the war and everything else, you need to be in a peaceful environment, not in a building where more lives can be lost at any second." She argued.

I slammed my fist down on my desk and watched the spider web-like cracks spread across the smooth surface. "You do not get to decide what's best for me. I'm a grown ass woman and I refuse to let others take care of me for my entire life. I have a job and I'm going to do it whether you want me to or not! Do not look at me or treat me like I am a piece of glass. After all, many shinobi from this village have lost their lives to Kabuto and look who killed him! I did!" I screamed. She remained silent so I took a deep breath to calm my anger. "I've checked all of the patients twice and everything seems to be okay. I'll be back tomorrow. I apologize for not being able to work a double shift today but I do have a few things to take care of. I will make up my missed work another time."

Tsunade didn't move an inch as I walked past her and out of the door. Guilt was starting to tear at me for not staying longer even though my schedule says I'm just supposed to work one shift a day but I'm afraid to break down in front of everyone if I do stay. It's just not worth it.

Not a single soul tried to stop me as I ran out of the hospital and all of the way home. Sure, some villagers, well, a _lot _of villagers stared at me as I passed. Even though I kept my head down, it was impossible not to feel their gazes; some of pity and others of anger. I deserve it.

As soon as I closed my front door behind me, I found myself in the kitchen and digging through the alcohol cabinet under the rug, drawing out another bottle of sake. In my haste of uncapping it, I failed to notice the new plates and bowls that sat on top of the counter, right next to the stove. It's not like it mattered at that moment anyway.

I slowly walked up the stairs and, just like last night, sat in front of my parent's bedroom door. I sat with my back against the wall and my feet stretched out in front of me until my feet were only an inch away from touching the white wood.

As the sun began to fall and the shadows in the house grew, so did the emptiness of the bottle that barely left my lips until there was nothing left in it. I was drunk, beyond drunk actually, and a small part of me did realize that but the bigger part of me didn't care.

The tears came and so did my screams of agony. The loneliness was eating me alive already, tearing deep wounds into my heart so that I could feel exactly how they had felt in their last moments; helpless.

My sobs hurt like hell after the continuous hours that they refused to cease but I could not stop them. I could not stop the fire that was burning me from the inside out. The worst part about it; I just wanted them to open the door. I wanted them to open the door and yell at me for waking them up just as they had fallen asleep.

My mother would have small particles of dirt under her nails from working in the garden all day and my dad would probably have a few new cuts on his hands from working on construction for his job. I would apologize a thousand times and then insist on making them some tea.

After only a few minutes, they would agree and follow me downstairs while I revealed my real motives and beg my dad to let me heal his wounds. Then my mother would tease me about how good of a mother I would be and instantly I would be blushing like a lunatic because my dad would start firing off names of the male shinobi in the village to see if I was dating any of them.

'Sweetie, why don't you let me do your hair this weekend and you can go out with your friends for a girl's night or something?' my mom would offer, running her hands through the ends of my hair. 'You might not want to right now but your father and I don't want to be too old when you decide to give us some grandkids.' She would tease.

Another tear and sob erupted at the very memory of how so many of our late night conversations had ended that way; with them complimenting me and saying they wanted me to find a guy and have kids and then how I would tell them that they were crazy. I would tell my mom that I wouldn't be going out that weekend, but maybe another time. She would nod her head sadly, knowing that her daughter was not a girly-girl anymore, and would never let her do her hair in order to have some fun.

Now while sitting here and thinking about all of this, I would do anything in order to have one of those nights back. I would let my mom do my hair and I would let my dad meet one of the guys that I meet while at the bar with my friends. I would let them embarrass me because it wasn't actually embarrassing, it was sweet and endearing.

But now none of that's going to happen. They will never know how much I really appreciated everything that they did for me. They will never know how much I really loved them. They will never know…

Kakashi:

All of the villagers were still whispering about how they had seen the pink-haired kunoichi earlier today. I was surprised to see how many of them were still out and about even after the sun has gone down. Naruto was shooting glares at those who talked about his female teammate and Sai just remained silent until we were out of earshot from the gossiping bastards.

"Kakashi, we are going to see her, right?" he asked, looking a little nervous. Sai has been learning how to express emotions over the past few years but even so, this is one expression that I've yet to see him use.

Naruto finally stopped intimidating the citizens and peeked around my back to answer Sai. "That's where we were headed before you met us by the shops. Grandma Tsunade said that Sakura stormed out of the hospital after their little spat and Kakashi was just getting worried about her."

I shot him a small glare for making it seem like I forced him into this visit. "You were worried too, Naruto." I told him.

Sai ignored the side comments and kept walking in pace with us. "How do you think she's doing?"

That was a good question. Last night I found her passed out drunk on her floor right in front of the room that her parents died in. That doesn't usually signal a 'doing good' kind of vibe. "She's probably breaking things. I bought her new plates and bowls today since she smashed all the ones that she owned yesterday."

He winced a little. "It's that bad, huh?"

I nodded. "She blames herself for it all. She doesn't even have to say it; you can just see it in her eyes."

Sakura's house came into view then. From the outside, there was no physical change but I could practically feel the tension coming from the inside. One light was lit from inside of the kitchen and it was dead silent.

We walked on and Naruto was the one who knocked on the door. There was no answer so I assumed that she had fallen asleep already. "Do we just… go in?" Sai asked, the nervous look appearing again.

Without thinking, I slid it open and walked inside, glancing around to see everything the way I left it when she was at work today. _'At least it's all in one piece.' _I thought. "I'm not leaving until I know she's okay." I responded, heading to the stairs.

I ascended slowly; not really wanting to see what I knew was going to be there the whole time. Sakura was laying down on her right side, her face damp with the tears that still fell in her unconscious state. An empty bottle of sake lay next to her on its side, proving that she had yet again, drank herself to sleep in front of her parent's room.

Naruto and Sai came up behind me, taking in the sad scene. "I thought you searched her house for the sake and couldn't find any!" Naruto accused, not taking his eyes off of his teammate as I bent down and scooped the poor girl into my arms. She barely weighed a thing.

"I did; I don't know where the bottles keep coming from." I told him, carrying her to her room at the end of the hall. This room looked untouched by her anger as well so I laid her down on her soft bed and pulled the covers up to her chin.

Again, I couldn't help but notice and relish in her utter beauty that radiated off of her even in this distressed state. She appeared so peaceful and at rest, unlike how I've found her the past two days, but then her eyebrows scrunched up and a whimper escaped her lips.

"What is wrong with her?" Sai questioned, stepping forward to get a better look at her face. "She still looks to be asleep."

I knew that face all too well though. It was the expression of someone in pain, not physically, but mentally. She was having a nightmare which didn't surprise me in the least bit. Her hands clenched over and over again, leaving grooves in the palms where her nails attempted to penetrate the soft skin.

"She's dreaming." Naruto muttered, watching her with a sad look. For once, he realized that this wasn't going to blow over as quickly as he thought it would. Sakura hasn't ever lost a patient before due to her superb medic skills so to have her parents die in front of her when she was thinking that she could save them traumatized her.

Sai's lips formed an 'O' in surprise when he realized what was going on with her now. "I think that I am going to depart now. I am of no help at this point and it would be wise to get some sleep so that maybe I can be of assistance tomorrow." He said, stepping back.

Naruto seemed to mull this over in his head while worriedly glancing at Sakura. "What if she does something while we aren't here?"

"I'll stay with her and make sure she is alright. Sai has a point; you won't be helping her by depriving yourselves of sleep. She'll be safe with me." I offered without hesitation.

Naruto thought nothing of my quick response and only nodded his head. "Okay Kakashi. Just please watch over her. I'm sure I don't have to tell you to but for the sake of Team 7; she's the only think holding us all together anymore."

There was no debating whether or not he was right because he was. Sakura was the glue that held us all together. Without her, Naruto, Sai, and Sasuke would kill each other. It took her angry, booming voice and one of her fast, power-packed punches to the head to stop them in their places.

Sakura was the one who always made sure that everyone never made plans on Sunday nights in place of the official Team Seven dinner that we have every week. On those days, she would invite us into her home and her parents would help her cook a large meal big enough for all of us. We would be nothing without her; including me.

While I was thinking this entire thing out, the two boys slipped out of the house and I didn't realize it until I heard the distinct thud of her front door closing. I couldn't hear them conversing at all so I guess they were as lost as I was when it came to this. No one ever had to comfort Sakura for anything; she was always the one to help other people. She was a true ninja when it came to shielding her emotions from others but in this situation it was not a good thing.

I quietly walked over to a tan armchair that sat in the corner and plopped down on it. A sigh escaped my lips when I took in the boring room. White walls, simple hard-wood flooring, black-out curtains that were tightly drawn together to assure no light would enter the room, and piles upon piles of books littering almost all of the walking space available. It was easy to see that the girl really got into her job since almost every title that was faced towards me had some kind of medical title.

I did not expect to see this in her room. Even when she was younger, just by her hair and happy moods I would imagine pink walls and tons of girly stuff tacked up everywhere. Boy was I wrong…

She twisted frantically in her bed again, drawing my attention back to her. The light from the hallway that the boys had left on landed right on her and it was hard to miss to sheen layer of sweat that was glistening on her face and neck. A part of me wanted to wake her up and comfort her but if she didn't kick me out of her house right away, she would only fall back into another nightmare-filled sleep. There was nothing I could do to help her.

I tried to ignore her desperate whines and pleads that kept being emitted every few seconds. I tried to tell myself that my presence was the only thing that I could do to help her. I tried to tell myself that there was nothing else I could possibly do to ease her pain. I tried to tell myself that I could never be there for her the way that I wanted to because that wasn't right. She was too young for me.

Something inside of me said that I was wrong and I wanted to hold onto that. Maybe I would think differently if she actually felt the same as I did. I don't even know what I would do if she felt for me as I felt for her. No one would approve of us being together. She would live the rest of her life discriminated by the village for dating a man fourteen years older than her. I would be called a cradle robber everywhere I went. Am I really prepared to subject her to that kind of thing?


	5. Chapter 5- Release

Chapter 5- Kakashi

The little pink-haired kunoichi is very dear to, that is something I will always admit to anyone who ever asked, but the moment that I laid my eyes on her the next morning, I was ready to kill her myself.

Her skin glistened under the thick layer of sweat that she was drenched in while the sun baked her pale skin. She had already shed her shirt and thick black pants that she had put on this morning, leaving her in a gray sports bra and a _very_ small pair of black shorts. Even Pakkun who had taken a seat next to me since we arrived had a hard time not looking at those killer legs of hers _at first_. Then she started going crazy and all the worry that I have only for her, ignited.

After Tsunade literally threw her desk through her wall, demanding that Sakura take a leave for the day, the young woman stomped deep into the forest before the sun was even in the sky and started breaking, destroying, and obliterating anything that her eyes lay on.

I had followed her, something that I probably shouldn't have done, but I was worried about her and while seeing how she was fighting right now, I had good reason to be.

Sakura has been fighting her own clones for roughly six hours, the sun was high in the sky, and she was relentless. She summoned clone after clone, not willing to even take a break for water. She was covered in blood and sweat which had me wanting to carry her off to the hospital. She was refusing to heal the wounds that her clones inflicted upon her bare skin, instead just letting them ooze the red liquid that often made her dizzy at the sight so many years ago.

Her eyebrows were drawn together in fierce determination and I couldn't help but marvel at her strength as she threw her chakra-enhanced fist around, smashing the ground beneath her into a million pieces. One particular rock shot up from the explosion and hit her in the face, cutting deep into her cheek and leaving behind what I'm positive to be a bruise in only a few short hours.

She winced as blood seeped down her cheek and onto her neck which only made the dark bruises under her eyes seem so much more noticeable. Pakkun jumped onto my shoulder and spoke in a low whisper. "Boss, I think it's time you intervened. She's dehydrated and won't last much longer with those injuries in this heat."

I realized how right he was when Sakura lost her coordination after losing so much chakra and fell to her hands and knees. I could see the beads of sweat drip off of her face and land on the rubble that she was resting on. Guilt flooded through me.

I shouldn't have even let it get this far. I should have stopped her hours ago when seeing her deteriorating condition. Without thinking about it, I rose to my feet and began walking towards her panting figure. I had to carefully plan my footing but I managed to silently stand in front of her before she even knew someone was with her.

I squatted down and put a hand on her shoulder while her eyes quickly flickered to me, wide with surprise. "Kakashi, what are you doing here?"

I gave her a small, pained smile and crinkled my eye too so she somewhat knew what expression I made. "I just followed the sounds of trees and rocks being uprooted violently and figured it was either you or the Hokage. You two are the only ones in this village who do that, you know."

Sakura didn't respond. Instead she unsteadily stood up and tried to keep her balance. I could tell she was dizzy by the way her body swayed from side to side and she gripped the back of her head tightly. One of her clones figured the fight was over for now and brought Sakura a few kunai that had been imbedded in the trees before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

She looked around at the mess she made but the emotions that she evicted from the scene were not what they usually were. For the past two years, whenever she would destroy any of the training grounds like this she would brag to me and puff her chest out proudly at the great strength she had gained over the years. Now she just sadly looked around her as if comparing the rubble to her own life. It was so depressing.

I gently ran my hand across her cheek at an attempt to remove some of the blood from her skin but it ended smearing while fresh blood coated the last. I sighed at the overwhelming scent of iron filling my nose. It was a smell that I've long gotten used to but always hated.

"Sakura, what are you doing?"

She looked at me and spoke with no emotion but her eyes burned with intensity. "I'm training."

I shook my head at her and went to hold her shoulder but she pulled away before I could touch her. "No, you're not. You're being self-destructive and I refuse to watch you do this to yourself. You haven't had a sip of water all day; you've almost used up all of your chakra, and look how much blood you've lost! I don't want to see you go down this path." I don't know why my tone was rising with every word I said. No one got me this riled up anymore and even when Naruto attempts to train like this, I don't stand in his way. I know that at the end of the day he will be okay and there is someone to take care of him. But who is taking care of Sakura now? There is no one to make sure she eats and sleeps, there is no one to make sure she doesn't work herself to death.

Her gaze turned cold very quickly and I struggled with the small action of stuffing my hands in my pockets and slouching to somewhat look nonchalant. On the inside, I was burning up with agitation. "I'm fine! Why can't you just leave me alone!" she screamed suddenly, taking a quick step backwards with gleaming eyes. Her short pink hair fluttered in the small gust of wind that drifted around us and I caught a whiff of her sweet, floral scent.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "This is not healthy Sakura. You need a break. Go home, relax, read a book, go out to lunch, do _something _that doesn't result in you working yourself to death." I commanded in a deep tone. I was serious and in turn, I wanted her to take me seriously.

Suddenly, Sakura got a far off look in her eyes as she gazed silently at no particular spot on my shoulder. If it was under any other circumstances, I would have waved my hand in front of her face just to tease her about slacking off. Knowing how emotionally unstable she is right now though, it probably wouldn't be such a great idea.

As quick as she stopped paying attention, she came back to the world of the living and snapped her eyes up to me. "I'm sorry." Her small frame leapt forward on one of the branches of a nearby tree and took off. I was too stunned to follow her. She left her shirt and pants behind, her weapons too. Something in the back of my mind was nagging at me that letting her go wherever she was going would not result in anything good. I wish I had listened to that small voice.

Sakura-

I didn't bother knocking on Tsunade's door; I was far too deep in my own mind to pay attention to half of the things going on this morning and remembering something as tedious as warning about my entrance was unworthy of the time it took to do so. I was in no mood for waiting this morning.

As I stepped in, Tsunade took one drunken look at me before sobering up and jumping to her feet. "Kami, Sakura, what happened to you?" she yelled and of course, Shizune ran in too, only to gasp when she saw me.

I didn't show any emotion; I was incapable of doing so. "I have a request for you."

Both women looked confused and exasperated. "What is it that you want? More importantly, what happened to you? Where you attacked?" Tsunade asked question after question, moving her chakra, glowing palms over my cuts and sealing them up but I moved away from her before she could finish.

"I want to go on a solo mission."

Instantly, her hands stopped moving and Shizune paled considerably. Almost like a cartoon, Tsunade's face began to change colors, until she settled upon a dark, angry red that matched the rage in her eyes. "Why in the hell would I send _you_ of all people on a solo mission?" Her hands positioned themselves on her hips while she spoke in a loud tone that I'm sure everyone in the hospital was listening to.

"Because I asked you to," I responded simply.

The woman who was like a mother to me slowly calmed down when she realized I wasn't just trying to aggravate her and leaned her body against her desk with a huff. The air around us was still and tense and I vaguely wondered why the windows weren't open.

The blonde dipped her head low and gave me a pained look. "Why do you want to do this to yourself? Sakura, you are the strongest kunoichi in this village and you surpassed me long ago so why do you want to go? What is there to prove?"

"Tsunade," I began, trying desperately not to cry. "Please, if you love me at all as a daughter, you will let me do this. I'm qualified for any mission that you want to send me on and you know that I'll be alright. I just need to get away from here. Going home to that house every day is not helping me out in the least and I haven't been out on a mission in months. Please Tsunade, let me do this." I begged, willing her with my eyes to say the words that I desperately wanted to hear.

She sighed again and looked as if she were aging with every word either of us spoke. "Sakura, if you were any other shinobi in this village, you would still be in the hospital with the wounds you sustained with Kabuto. It's not that I don't trust you; I don't trust that you won't try and turn one of these missions into a suicide one."

I had to stop and think about a response to that one. That very scenario had already played through my head many times and every moment that it passed through my head, I was tempted to just end it all. I couldn't tell her that though.

I spoke almost no louder than a whisper but both women heard me clearly, that much I was sure. "Tsunade, I am the top medic of this village; no, I am the top medic of the Fire Country and with that title comes the knowledge of just about anything that involves the human body. I know how to heal a hole through a shinobi's chest and I know how to extract the poison out of a bloodstream. I also know how to end someone's life just as quick. I think that if I wanted to end my life, I would be six feet under by now. I don't need to go on a suicide mission just to mangle my body in the process. Please Tsunade, I promise that if you send me on these missions, I will return," I vowed.

Shizune turned and looked out of the broad window, gazing down at the village below her. Her shoulders were shaking, a tell-tale sign that she was crying. Tsunade was staring at the floor, her concentration was unbreakable. I waited patiently for an answer but I knew this was hard for her. It hurt me to even think about the pain I was making her endure right then.

Slowly, her eyes met mine and I was surprised to see them full of unshed tears. "I'm going to hold you to that promise, Haruno," she said silently. "The mission I'm sending you on first is going to take roughly a month. Normally I would assign this to one of the ANBU but you are certainly classified to accomplish it by yourself." She passed me a sheet a paper with a man's picture printed on the top. "Your job is to assassinate this man. He will have accomplices which will make it more difficult but I'm sure you will manage. Just remember in battle that he is not innocent in any way. He murdered half of his village in a rage after his wife passed away. He's been killing ever since." She muttered softly.

I nodded my head and went to leave but turned to look at her one last time. "Thank you."

She didn't respond but the thick trail of tears running down her face spoke loud enough. This was the first time I've ever seen her cry.

….. (a month later)

Never have I ever wanted to take a hot shower more than I did when I saw Konaha's gates loom in front of me. I was covered in blood, more of my own than of my target's, and my clothes were half shredded to pieces as they limply hung from my worn out body.

When Tsunade had said that he had accomplices, she didn't mention that there were six more on top of the man I was assigned to kill. It didn't help that all of them were S-classed criminals, shinobi who were in the bingo books for more than double-crossing their villages. These men were professionals when it came to killing and fighting. All of them had their own strengths and that's what made it so hard. Seven shinobi against one was extremely difficult and the lack of blood and chakra in my body showed for it.

My feet were dragging against the ground and the trees around me seemed to be swaying as if they were floating on waves. I did try to heal myself at one point but it did not work out well. One of the men swiftly kicked me through a few trees, proving that I didn't have the time to stop and help myself.

The last morsel of food that I ate, a small fish that I caught in a stream, was a day before the fight and the fight was two days ago. It's a wonder I even made it this far without collapsing from exhaustion.

When I finally crossed the gates, people were shuffling about without a glance at me except for the two shinobi that were perched at either side of an old wooden table. They held up cards and were obviously battling out who had cheated and who won the bet. After a moment of hard concentration, I realized that it was Genma and Kotetsu. For some reason, no matter how hard I tried to call out to them, all that came out was sort of a whisper. I was running out of energy to stand, quick. I just stood there with one hand reached out trying to attract their attention but I didn't get it until Genma stood up quickly, flipping the table and cards with it.

His gaze flickered to me and instantly, he was in front of me with Kotetsu right behind him. "Sakura, are you alright?" he said in worry, gripping my shoulders in his large hands.

I tried nodding but ended up moaning in pain. It hurt to breath, it hurt to stand, it hurt to keep my eyes open but I fought against it with everything I had left in me to try and talk back to them. "The fight… didn't go… as planned…" I huffed out before my knees buckled.

Thank Kami that Genma caught me in time though, lifting me up in his arms. "Listen, you need to keep those beautiful eyes open; you hear me? Kotetsu, call _him_ and tell him that she's back. Sakura, I'm taking you to see Tsunade, alright? I need you to stay awake though." He half yelled at me.

I vaguely wondered who _he_ was but instead, I pitifully struggled against his grip but he didn't even have to tighten his hold on me to keep me in his arms. I was just too weak. "Genma, take me home. I just need to sleep it off." I mumbled.

Suddenly, wind was rushing past us as he ran at a neck-breaking speed towards the tall building in the distance. His grim face met mine and he tried to smile but I could see the worry bubbling right underneath the surface. "No can do, kid. I'm not letting you go home like this. You're too important to be left alone when hurt like this."

I raised my eyebrow and faint surprise. "You think I'm important?" I couldn't speak above a whisper anymore but somehow he still heard me.

"Of course! Girl, all of the Jonin love you. You're like our second mother and honestly, us shinobi loved to be babied even a little. Kami knows the Hokage doesn't baby us in the least bit." He muttered and shot me a small smile.

I swallowed and winced at the pain it caused. "Glad to know that someone is there for me if I need it."

Genma reached the hospital doors and shoved it open with his shoulder. Nurses were instantly grabbing medical supplies and arranging for a room to put me in. Genma just smiled down at me again, relief briefly passing through his eyes. "Sakura, out of every ninja in this village, everyone would jump to save you first. I don't think you realize how strong of a hold you have on everyone's hearts. We would all die for you without a second's hesitation. I want you to remember that."

I was flattered; honored really, but before I could even mutter a 'thank you', the darkness that was hiding behind my subconscious gripped me tightly, and drug me down into total silence and black.

Kakashi-

I was panicking, beyond that actually. Kotetsu, the worthless messenger he is, couldn't tell me even if the blood that was supposedly covering her was her own or not. I didn't want to be mad at the poor guy but unfortunately, he was the one I took my sudden anger out on. He was sitting in one of the hospital chairs, nursing his now broken arm while I just paced back and forth. I found it hard to stop running my hands through my hair as I waited for word that she was okay. Why was I worrying so much? Why did I even care?

I didn't dare even try to answer the questions I was throwing at myself. This was neither the time nor place for such thoughts.

After three excruciatingly long hours, Tsunade walked into the waiting room with a small smile on her face. I was in front of her as fast as my feet would carry me and even Genma and Kotetsu approached us in a rush to see about the young kunoichi's health.

"Well, she will be alright. I guess we both underestimated the amount of shinobi that she would be up against and it took a lot out of her. Her chakra was drained and her opponents seemed to be very skilled will knives. Almost all of the blood was hers and I'm beginning to doubt that she's even human. I don't know anyone who would be able to walk any distance with the injuries she has. Other than that there are a few broken bones that are mostly healed and she has a concussion from what I can tell. She was kind of waking up when I left so two of you can go in. I don't want to crowd the room." Tsunade said but right before she walked away, she sent me a cautious look that I recognized easily. _Watch over her._

Kotetsu was the first to speak after the Hokage walked away. "Why don't you two go in while I hunt down a medic who will heal my arm? I'll see her later on, I'm sure."

I was already halfway down the hall before Genma responded, headed straight for the door that I saw Tsunade come out from. When Genma and I entered, he shut and locked it behind him and a very serious expression came across his face. I know how much the kunoichi means to all of the Jonin and we all take it very personal when she returns to the village like this no matter how she got the wounds. It was only her that we were like that with though. With anyone else, it's just a part of the job to be dealt with.

Sakura was sitting at the end of the hospital bed, pulling on her shoes when I first saw her. She only gave the two of us a small glance before diverting her attention back to her task at hand. My blood boiled when I saw red soaking through bandages on her hands and arms; her training outfit covered the wounds I assumed to be on her stomach, back, and legs.

Genma whistled low and long, stuffing his hands in his pockets like I already did. "What in the hell do you think you're doing? I know you aren't going to train after I carried you in here not even an hour ago, covered in blood; I don't think moving around is such a good idea."

She scoffed and swiftly stood on her feet, propping one hand on her hip and leaning against the wall behind her. "I know that you aren't giving me a hard time about staying in the hospital when I can't even get you to do the same when you return all banged up from missions."

He chuckled. "But we are two completely different people. I prefer to rest at home than in a place where I'm taking up the time of nurses and doctors who could be saving other's lives."

Sakura swung a bag from the floor and onto her shoulder but no one missed the slight pained look that crossed her face. "I couldn't agree more. That's why I'm leaving, I have work to do." She opened the window that was facing the village and was prepared to jump out but she didn't expect me to swiftly wrap my arms around her and force her onto the bed. I didn't miss the grin that crossed Genma's face at my actions. Maybe he wasn't so oblivious after all.

Sakura looked completely stunned and a little angry too when I drew the bag away from her reach and threw it into my dear friend's hands. Her tiny fists curled up causing the white bandages around them to stain even more. I lowered myself so that our noses were a few inches apart. I was so tempted to lower myself all the way but I had to remember that I had a point to get across at the moment.

I spoke quietly and in as threatening of a voice that I could muster, making her eyes widen. "You are not to leave this hospital until Tsunade dismisses you, do you understand? You were hurt and scared the life out of Genma, Kotetsu, myself, and frankly everyone in this damn building so I highly suggest that unless you want to physically be held down by the strongest shinobi in this village, you heed my warning."

Genma stifled a laugh, raising a heated glare from the pinkette in front of me. I shot him a glare too and he raised his hands in surrender and stiffly walked to the door, his shoulders somewhat shaking with his silent laughter. "Alright, I can see when I'm not welcome. I'll come back later when things have… cooled down." He slammed the door shut behind him and we both listened to his fading footsteps.

Sakura glanced down at her lap while she twined her fingers together in anxiousness. I knew that she was waiting for me to something again but I was finding it hard to think of something to say since I began to realize how _alone_ we were. I settled for one of the lectures that I knew I was very good at giving. "Sakura, it was too early for you to be doing something like this. You were not prepared, not properly trained, and definitely not in the right state of mind. I would appreciate it if you didn't send yourself on suicide missions."

She looked up at me then with emotionless eyes that made me want to flinch. "Tsunade only requested one thing of me during the mission and that was to return alive. I completed both the assignment and what she asked of me."

Anger bubbled in the bottom of my stomach. "Yeah, Sakura, you _barely_ returned. Do you know what this village would do if you hadn't? The Jonin respect you and love you and we would all do anything for you. I don't think you understand that the shinobi like Gai, Genma, Asuma, Kotetsu, Iruka, and Kurenai; we don't look at you like the pesky little kid that we trained. To us, you have been the girl that we grew up with; to us, you are our equal. So to see you hurt like that when it's very obvious that the Hokage could possibly die in a fight against you; it's scary."

She quickly looked back down at her lap and avoided my hostile look. I was right and we both knew it. Sakura was the heart of this village. If she goes, nothing would ever be the same again. "It was for the best." She whispered.

I stood up then, enraged at her response but before I even had the chance to show my rare emotions, Naruto pushed open the door with his foot and walked in with two white boxes, one in each hand. His blonde hair looked a little more disheveled today but the all-familiar smile was present on his whiskered face.

"Ah, Kakashi-sensei, it's great that you're still here! I brought some ramen from you two; a little birdy told me that you guys might be getting hungry." His grin was almost contagious but he was completely oblivious to the intense tension that drifted in the dense room. "I asked Sasuke if he wanted to come along but Ino stole him away at the last minute to help her carry in some boxes of flowers for her dad's shop so I came along. Sai was supposed to meet me for lunch too but I guess he got too caught up drawing a leaf or something." The exuberant kid blabbered. He would never change…

"Thank you," Sakura murmured as he passed her one of the containers of the steaming ramen. She was silent, acting as if she didn't know how unbelievably angry she made me. No one else made me feel as emotional as she did and it was very annoying to know that. I could be who everyone knows me to be; calm, lazy, uncaring. But the second that I'm with her I stop reading the lines on the orange books in my hands and just focus on her voice and the words that she says. The girl makes me _feel_ and I don't know if I like it or not.

Naruto continued to blab about some spar that he had with someone but I was focusing on Sakura eating, or for better words, her _not _eating. She hasn't taken one bite, but continued to stir it around in her hands. It was infuriating me.

The harsh steps of someone approaching our room had me pushing myself deeper into the corner of the room and pulling out the all familiar Icha Icha Violence book that I had read over a thousand times. Not that I was really reading it, no, I was more interested in finding out why Tsunade was fuming by the door, glaring at her student with such intensity that for a moment, I was worried about her wellbeing.

Naruto began to speak but Tsunade cut him off with her own, booming voice. "Sakura Haruno, would you like to explain this to me?" She demanded angrily, stalking forward only to throw a think manila folder on the bed in front of her devoted student.

Sakura stiffly opened it and began sifting through the papers. I was deeply bothered by the fluttering in my stomach when her eyebrows drew together in confusion. It was very… _cute_.

"I'm sorry but I don't see the mistake in my calculations. What did I do wrong?" she asked, staring over each sheet as if she were decoding an ancient language. I appreciated her intelligence and concern over her work.

"There are no mistakes, Sakura, and that's that problem. The lab technician told me that you were there for three days straight before the mission. _Three damn days_, Sakura! What did I tell you about this? I didn't want you to do this! Maybe that's why you screwed the mission up so bad; you were exhausted! Even I would have difficulty retrieving the results that you did for this type of chemical experiment. Sakura, you're doing too much. No more missions until I'm positive that you've over this self-suicide thing you've got going on." She yelled.

Sakura was on her feet in a pink blur before she was standing in front of the Hokage herself, holding her head high with a burning fury that made me fear to stand in the path of. "I did not screw up the mission, I'm not exhausted, and no one is going to keep me from doing what my job as a shinobi is." She gritted through her teeth. Tsunade's face held great surprise but she didn't say a word. "Now, I'm going to leave and I'm going to go home. You are going to keep anyone away from me if they are going to stop me. I will be here bright and early in the morning and we are going to pretend that all this never happened because if not, there will not be a single tree standing around this village. Am I understood?" She growled.

Tsunade nodded with her mouth slightly open. Naruto had a grim expression on while we all watched the young woman grab her things and swiftly exit through the window. A choked sob filled the room after that, and I was surprised to see Tsunade holding a hand to her chest tightly as tears made a fast trek down her face.

"She's going to get herself killed! I can't lose her, no, I can't lose her too!" She wailed. A woman who has been known to end the lives of hundreds of shinobi at once was reduced down to tears.

I shook my head, shoved the forgotten book into my back pocket, and walked over to the window. "No Tsunade, I won't allow her to go. She will be safe with me," I said before flinging myself out into the hot, humid air. The faint scent of cherry blossoms was the only trail I had to lead me to my target but even when it was clearly heading towards her house, I could hear her screams of anger already before the familiar building came into view.

Villagers have been avoiding this part of town like it was the plague ever since the death of Sakura's parents due to the kunoichi's fiery temper and in a time like this, their avoidance was a good thing.

I stepped cautiously through the front door and closed it silently behind me before carefully trekking my way to the stairs. I knew where I would find her; the same place I found her every night after the war and before her mission.

My ex-student was on her knees in front of the blood stained door, banging and screaming incomprehensible words while sobs ravaged her slim body. A shattered bottle of sake sat by her feet, its contents leaking down the wall and onto the floor. Sakura's bloody palms dripped the red liquid onto her legs and I watched as thin trails slid down her upraised arms towards her elbows.

I stepped forward and said her name quietly but she still heard me. In a blur of pink she was in front of me and I got a good look at her puffy red eyes that held so much sadness in them. "What do you want?" she screamed in my face. "What the hell do you want now? Were you sent to criticize me even more on how I found the antidote to a rare poison found in the Land of the Clouds? Or are you here to tell me how bad I screwed up my mission. Yeah, sure, I killed a few of the most notorious missing shinobi but who cares about that, right? I didn't come back unscathed so it was definitely a fail! Tell me, who would fight against all of those Nin and make it out alive, huh? I can tell you right now that there wouldn't be that many to come out still breathing, let alone walk the distance that I did afterwards." Her voice never lowered; if anything, it increased with her anger.

I raised a hand in an attempt to grasp her arm but she stepped back. "Sakura…"

"Why am I such a damn screw up? Why can't I ever do anything right? Everything I do there is someone to tell me that I shouldn't have done it or I should have done it differently. No one knows how much pain I'm in when I come home every day! No one knows how much it really is my fault that they're dead! I knew something was going to happen that day; I had such a terrible feeling but I ignored it anyway. I went off and left them alone and unprotected and now they're dead! They're fucking dead, Kakashi!" She screamed and sank to her knees in a fit of sobs and chokes.

It pained me to see her like that; my ultimately favorite student who usually is the last one to cry in a sad time was completely shattered and there was nothing I could do to mend her broken heart.

I bent down without a word and pulled her into my arms, guiding her head to my chest. Her hands found their way to the sides of my vest where they gripped on tightly as her salty tears flowed from her cheeks onto me.

That's when I realized it. That's when I realized that I would do absolutely everything in my power for this woman. I would die for her life, I would kill for her happiness, and I would risk myself for her safety.

I began to mumble sweet nothings into her ear while rubbing her back. I can only imagine what she was like every night during her mission if this is what she's like now. Being alone every night to deal with these feelings are always terrible and I've experienced this first hand. I only wish there was any other way to ease her pain.

Lifting her up easily, I carried her into her room to lay her down on her bed carefully, remembering the wounds that she still sustained. When I pulled back from her, Sakura's huge emerald eyes were drowning in tears in sorrow.

When she spoke, I felt a ball of emotion grow in my own throat. "When is the pain going to go away Kakashi? It hurts so much…" She cried, more salty tears leaking down her face.

I stared at her for a minute before pulling the sheets up to her neck and pressed my masked lips to her forehead as softly as I possibly could. "It doesn't Sakura," I murmured. "You just learn to live with it."

She never said anything after that. Sakura cried herself to sleep while I watched over her from the same chair I slept in the night before. Her nightmares were horrible that night; her screams of emotion agony seemed to reverberate off of the walls and drown me. I couldn't stop the silent tears that ran down the small space of visible skin beneath my eyes and soak into my mask. Nor could I convince myself to get up and leave her.

With a shaky sigh, I pulled my gloves and shoes off before tossing my head backwards and drifting off into a restless sleep.


	6. Chapter 6- The Missions

Chapter 6- Sakura

I woke up with a familiar pain in my head, the pounding sending shivers of displeasure across my skin. I suppose that I should be used to it by now since I woke up to the same thing every morning as a reminder of my terrible nightmares but I just couldn't stop it from ruining my mornings even more. I've never been a morning person.

As I glanced out of the window, I realized that the sun hadn't even risen yet but the birds were just beginning to chirp with their repetitious patterns. I was tempted to groan and go back to sleep but after a second's thought, I just peeled the covers off of my sweat, slicked body and padded to the bathroom across the hall.

I quickly took a shower while trying to ignore my parent's shampoos and body washes and when that was over, I brushed my teeth while avoiding my parent's tooth brushes that still sat in the same place that they had left them in a month ago.

When I made it back to my room, I noticed for the first time that Kakashi was snoring slightly in the armchair the sat next to my window. His shoes were on the side of his feet while his worn, leather gloves rested upon his right knee.

I didn't even question why he was still here, nor did I attempt to wake him up. He needed just as much sleep as I did and it wouldn't be fair to take that privilege away from him for the sole reason that it was taken from me. He didn't deserve that.

I changed in my closet, pulling on my training uniform and then the white hospital staff coat that had the word '_Haruno_' sewed into it. My silver-plated Hidden Leaf headband was tied on the top of my head as usual for the final touch before I grabbed a small bag with kunai and spare money in it and went downstairs.

Just as I was about to walk out of the door, I paused by the kitchen mid-stride before making up my mind and walking in. I pulled out the coffee beans and began heating up water on the stove until the kettle began to scream. I filled two cups up with the thick black liquid and added a dash of sugar and cream to both, just how my parent's liked it.

With a few more minutes to spare before leaving, I pulled out a few bagels that Naruto must have picked up for me and buttered them both. Leaving one bagel by each steaming cup, I allowed a small, sad smile to grace my lips.

"Good morning mom, dad, I hope you both slept well." I said, washing the knife I used for the bagels. "Well, Tsunade doesn't want me to work today but I feel like I should and I'm sorry about that. I know that I promised that you could do my hair for me tonight but maybe tomorrow would be better. After all, you aren't going anywhere anytime soon."

I looked up to the empty air by the doorway and allowed my smile to fall as I dried my hands. "I know I'm not here enough but you both know how much you two mean to me. Don't worry mom, I won't train too hard. I know you worry about one of the boys hurting me on accident but I can handle myself. And dad? I don't want you work too hard today but I know the woman from the market who sells the fresh fruit has some wood for sale by her husband's shop for really cheap. It might be something you would be interested in. Well, I've got to go now but I left some breakfast and coffee out for you guys. I love you."

I left the house quickly after that, wanting to leave before my emotions caught up to me but in my haste, I missed the silver-haired Jonin sadly watching my actions from a dark corner in the living room.

I ignored the nurse's throughout the day just as they ignored me. I know quite a few of them that were probably happy that I wasn't in the best state of mind since they didn't all exactly like me. For years they have been fighting for Tsunade's affection and praise for their good duties but they never received any of the sort, but as soon as I began working there, Hokage-sama had been at the hospital constantly to check up on me and congratulate me for my good and precise research and healings.

In turn, they made it their life's mission to make work a living hell for me but it rarely worked. I love what I do.

I worked my first shift (five A.M. to one P.M.) and then after deciding that I wasn't hungry or in the particular mood to go home, I worked a double and then triple eight-hour shifts to pass time. I was exhausted after working for twenty four hours straight but I knew very well that sleeping wasn't very restful either. If anything, I would wake up even more tired than before.

So, at six in the morning when I should be sleeping in like the rest of the normal shinobi in Konaha, I was sitting down with a sigh at the desk in my personal office. I looked at the absolute chaos that was my desk and just started picking up one paper at a time and sliding them into appropriate folders according to importance and subject.

Most of them had to do with new patients and old patients but there were a few newsletters about upcoming blood drives. One paper had a big, red stamp across the top reading '_URGENT_' and after a closer evaluation; I realized it was just an order for new medications that I needed to sign for before the nurses were able to officially order them.

My neat, slanted signature was soon covering the thin black line on the bottom of the page and I slid the now-approved order into the mail slot to be picked up today.

Too soon, all the papers were organized and after a quick glance at the clock, I did my cleaning job a little too quickly. It was only eight in the morning and that left much of the day to be open to thinking.

With yet another deep, tired sigh, I slid down in my soft, leather chair a little more and propped my right temple up with my fingers. Soldier pills were useless at this point; they did nothing to aid the headaches, the constant loss of chakra, or the steady loss of energy that seemed to get lower with each morning that I opened my eyes.

There wasn't any stronger pill that we could order and living off of six soldier pills a day like I've been doing for the last few weeks is the exact opposite of healthy.

The idea struck me so fast that I lurched forward in my chair and grabbed the nearest scrap of paper that I could find. Addressing the note to the chemist whose lab is in the basement of the hospital, I wrote quickly as a spark was lit in my chest that I haven't felt in the longest time. I explained the chemicals that I wanted him to mix and what I wanted him to do exactly since Tsunade would have a hernia if she caught me in the lab any time soon.

I signed my signature again at the bottom so he knew that this was a direct order and I folded up the thin paper, preparing to put it in the regular staff mailboxes before thinking better of it and standing up to deliver it myself. I didn't want anyone other than me and him to know of this. Kami knows the sorts of trouble I would get in with Tsunade about my health. I didn't care about my wellbeing anymore to be honest. Everything was just too depressing.

I ran out of my office, snuck past the nurses so that they couldn't report me to the Hokage for still being here, and ran down the never-ending staircases for several minutes before finally coming to the door I needed to be at.

The bright yellow paint was fading and chipping around the edges but unlike the rest of the hospital, it didn't matter as much since only a handful of people were authorized to come down here. I knocked a few times and the sounds a glass breaking along with a few muttered curses were my only response.

"I swear that if this isn't important…" Kinji said, throwing the door open before giving me his usual bright smile. I knew that his threat was empty, especially pointed towards me. The twenty year-old had easily become one of my best friends in this building, partially because he didn't try to always impress the Hokage like the nurses do. Kinji just did his own thing and honestly, that made him very likeable in a friend type of way. "Sakura, come in, come in." he said, putting a hand on my lower back and pulling me into the lab with him.

The rotting egg smell of sulfur filled my nose and I cringed at how overpowering it was. Kinji shot me an apologetic smile and pulled on a pair of latex gloves from a little blue box on the wall. "Sorry about that, you surprised me and I happened to be carrying a common poison that doesn't exactly smell the best. Anyway, do you know how long Tsunade bitched at me for letting you down here for the Sound antidote a month back? I was here for hours cleaning up the mess she made." He said, scrunching his nose up.

"I'm not apologizing for that. I was the first one to find the cure for one of the rarest but most deadly poisons that Kabuto himself concocted. It will save lives. Three days of exhaustion was worth it." I said, defending myself as I took a seat on a stool.

He raised an eyebrow. "You look like you've been up for more than three days now. What can I do for you? I'm sure the Hokage already told you that you're not really allowed down here until she thinks you're ready to."

I pulled the paper from my back pocket, opened it up, and slid it across the table to him and watched as he read it. His face seemed to pale at the request. Before he could come up with some lie to deny me of what I wanted, I spoke. "Kinji, I already look on your schedule and you don't have anything for the next two days which is all the time it will take to make this. Please, help me out here." I pleaded.

I could easily see the hesitation in his eyes. "Sakura, I can make it with no problem and I don't mind doing it but what worries me is the use of it. These are very strong chemicals and while this will help a lot if you're on your last leg in a battle, it could kill you any other time. This mixture is completely unheard of!" he exclaimed, gaping at the paper again.

"It will be very useful especially if I'm in the same position I was with the last mission I took. For now all I need is about fifty and I'll see how long that lasts." I offered anything that came to my mind.

Kinji looked exasperated. "Sakura, fifty pills should be more than enough for a lifetime! How many life threatening situations do you get into a month?"

"Enough times that I don't want you to get rid of this recipe. I'll try them out myself and tell you any side effects and we can alter it if need be." I continued.

He looked very reluctant at first but my pleading finally forced him into submission. He stood and tacked the paper onto the board above the work table he had in the corner. "I'll find you when I'm done and give you the finished product. I better not be getting in trouble for this Sakura."

I gave him the best smile I could. "You shouldn't but let's keep this between me and you just in case. You know how the nurses are with me."

He shook his head. "Those old hags bitch constantly about the stupidest of stuff. I swear, I'm glad that I can just confine myself to this place every day instead of dealing with them."

I glumly looked up towards the ceiling and stood up. "Yes, well, I don't get that pleasure. Thank you for doing this for me but I have to go."

"Why?"

I gave Kinji a look. "I have stuff to do."

He barked in un-amused laughter. "Sakura, go home. Don't think that I don't know how long you've been here. Working for full days straight with no nourishment or sleep is not healthy. We both know that you're office is probably spotless right now and all that paperwork is done with so just breath. Go out with some friends for lunch or whatever girls do."

I knew that he was just trying to help. He was trying to help just like every other shinobi in this village was doing but I didn't want help. "Good bye Kinji." I responded, softly closing the paint-chipped door behind me.

….

It didn't seem fair. It didn't seem fair to me that I was panting in the middle of one of the training grounds while drowning in my own sorrows. It didn't seem fair that while the sun was brightly shining and birds were happily chirping, I was attempting to punch my way through trees and the hard ground beneath me with my bloody knuckles. It didn't seem fair that I could hear the laughing of the civilians only a few miles away and it just wasn't fair that I had to still be here.

I didn't want to be, that was for sure. I wanted to be with my parents and I wanted to be rid of this pain that was drowning me every second of my life.

I screamed in anguish while again, punching the ground with everything I had in me. It instantly exploded and ripped apart the ground that was easily five hundred feet away. I wanted to smile and I wanted to laugh with the joy of knowing that I was growing stronger, much stronger, but I knew that when I ran home to tell my parents of my knew found abilities, they wouldn't congratulate me. They wouldn't be able to tell me how proud they were of me and it ate me up on the inside.

That's when I first felt it. The sensation was like one I never felt before, a fire being ignited in my chest that spread to my limbs and soon to my very fingertips. I screamed again, wildly swinging around as my arms and legs connected with trees that seemed to fall more and more with each ferocious second that passed.

The smoldering fire inside of me was stronger than any adrenaline rush I've ever felt before and it was more intense than the frequent high of soldier pills I've been on since of late. It was like it was trying to eat me alive but before it could do any worse, a hand landed softly on the shoulder.

Everything froze; my body, my breathing, my mind. I felt like a deflated balloon but the pain still ran deep, forcing the tears to stream down my face again.

I didn't need to turn to know who had stopped me from my ultimate demise. No, I would know his touch anywhere. The soft pressure but firm hold, the worn leather gloves and silver knuckle plate pressing lightly into my skin. Kakashi had a touch like no other.

He didn't say anything when I turned and dug my face into his chest. He didn't give me a lecture on how immature and careless I was being and he didn't try and carry me off to the hospital like Naruto would have done. The silent man just wrapped one arm around my waist and one on the back of my head, pulling me closer to him.

My strength drained out of me and all the anger that was controlling my actions moments before was gone, vanishing as if the Copy Nin took it all away himself.

…..

Tsunade-

"It might be good for her but I don't know if I would trust her to go alone." Shizune said from the corner, her pig squealing in the woman's arms in what sounded like an agreement. As always, my assistant was looking out for the young kunoichi just as I was.

A deep sigh escaped my lips as my eyes scanned the mission scroll thoroughly for the umpteenth time. "She needs time away from this village, away from the stares and the memories. She needs to be in a place where she feels safe and I think that if we send her out with the rest of team seven then it should do the trick." I said, leaning back in my chair.

Shizune furrowed her eyebrows. "But Kakashi was requested for that assassination mission. The reward on that is too great to turn down and I don't think Sasuke would really put her mind at ease. After all, he isn't the same boy as before he left."

"Yes, well Kakashi can come here after his mission and if the team needs help somewhere along the way, we'll send him after them for backup. Sai will take Uchiha's place since Naruto and Sakura know and tolerate him enough. It's not even that this mission is that hard, even for an A-rank, it doesn't seem that difficult. The fact that they need to travel so _far_ and the length of time it will take at the destination itself is what makes this so perfect. The mission is so damn easy that it'll be more of a vacation for the three than anything else."

She nodded. "And do you think Sakura will be okay?"

I frowned at that, pulling a glass of sake to my lips before answering. "Her boys will look after her; I trust them with her life. Every damn Jonin in this village look up to her despite her being young enough to be a daughter to just about all of them. They think of her safety above anyone else's and for that, I'm grateful. After everything she has done and lost for the protection of this village, they should fucking worship at her feet."

I pulled a bottle of sake out of the drawer by my feet and Shizune's eyes narrowed considerably at the sight of it but she didn't dare say a word against it, especially with the mood that I'm in.

I just wanted my warm-hearted Sakura back; the young woman that first came to me with tears in her eyes, begging for me to train her. I wanted the girl back that put her life and well-being in my hands so that she could learn how to be one of the strongest that this village has ever seen; a goal that she completed in a surprisingly short amount of time.

I can clearly remember the twinkle in her eyes when she first trained with Naruto and Kakashi after learning from me. Those two men looked _scared_ of her when she tore up the grounds. She was so proud of herself and so was I; she has come such a long way.

She won over the hearts of the villagers, of her patients, and her comrades who no longer looked at her as the weak link. Sakura was an extremely strong, independent woman now but at heart, she is still that mushy, romantic sap who cringes at the pain of others. That gentle side of her is what's taking the beating from her traumatized state of mind.

Even seeing her coming home from her solo mission, I could detect the more defined muscles from her own vigilant training that she has driven herself to and the intense tolerance of pain that she only mildly possessed two months ago. She was changing before my eyes.

A knock on the door made me raise my head as I cleared the sad thoughts quickly. "Come in," I commanded in a strong voice that soon strained with contained anger. A certain silver-haired ninja walked in, slumped shoulders and all. Before I even had the chance to reprimand him on his tardiness, his words washed over me.

"I'm sorry that I'm late, Tsunade. I had… something to take care of." He struggled to find the right words and I raised my eyebrows.

"Is this 'something' Sakura by any chance?"

His whole being seemed to deflate even more. "Yes. I don't know what was happening to her though. I haven't seen her this angry before but she was completely destroying everything in sight. It was like watching Naruto when under the influence of the Nine Tails. Her chakra was lashing out away from her body; something I've never witnessed before."

My eyes widened. "But- but that's impossible! I've only ever read about that in medical books but it's so uncommon! How did you stop her?"

The very thought of Sakura being pushed to the limit where her chakra was lashing out and acting on its own was scary. I didn't think she was that emotionally distressed but I was obviously very wrong. She could kill herself in that situation.

Kakashi sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "All I did was touch her shoulder and everything stopped. She cried after that but it was different, she seemed more… detached than usual. I carried her home and left Naruto to look after her but I wasn't going to just leave her to do even more damage."

"Well, I would have done the same. Maybe my decision would be in her best interest." I mumbled before answering his silent question. "I've decided to send Sakura, Naruto, and Sai on a mission that will roughly take three or four months. I'm hoping that this will be the proper break that she needs and this time there will be two other people there to make sure she doesn't get herself killed. It's oddly simple for an A-rank; they just need to retrieve a scroll from a small island off of the coast of the Village Hidden in the Waves. Supposedly it is a sacred scroll that needs to be guarded and they just want it to be under security here until the spring of next year. There isn't too much information here but there is enough to know that the most they have to worry about is rogue Nin on the way there."

Kakashi nodded his head. "I see; but where do I fit into this?"

I must be losing my mind if I'm already forgetting the main reason this man is here. "Right, well, I need you to go and meet with a client a few miles north of here. He was sent by his own village to kill a few thieves that have been looting them but he underestimated the numbers of them so he requested you in specific to help finish the job. It should take three days at the most and when you return, you will stay here off-duty in case Team Seven needs backup. If so, you will go to them and stay with them for the rest of the mission. Am I clear?" I asked, handing him his mission scroll.

He nodded and immediately turned to leave but after hesitating for a moment, he turned back to me. "Please just have someone watch over her and warn Naruto and Sai especially before they leave for the mission. I don't want them being unprepared for what they are bound to see." And with those parting words, he was gone.


	7. Chapter 7- And So It Begins

Chapter 7- Sakura

I couldn't believe that all this was happening. We were a month and a half into the mission and I still have barely spoken a word to either of the boys, yet they chatted on more than usual. I wasn't lagging behind though; no, I pulled my weight around more than enough.

The looks of pity and worry were the worst but after the first few days it became easier to just turn the other way and pretend that I didn't see it. The nights were horrible, especially since my boys wouldn't let me take the night watches so I suffered from my nightmares every second that I closed my eyes. The memories would pour back into my brain as if they wanted me to drown in the guilt. I deserved it.

Every day that we walked on, the bruises under my eyes got darker and my mood grew graver. The sweltering sun beat down on us constantly and we went through our water so fast yet it never seemed to be enough. We stopped frequently (against my protests to continue until sunset) at small ponds or streams whenever we found them. Instant ramen was our breakfast, lunch, and dinner unless I could catch something more like a fish or squirrel. Needless to say, we had fish and squirrels regularly after the first week of the mushy noodles.

I was deep in my thoughts, wondering how much longer until we reached the shoreline when the piercingly loud cry rang in my ears. "I'm so _tired_. Can we please stop for the night? Sakura, I can't take another step, let alone two more hours until the night falls." Naruto whined. I didn't answer, only sighed and threw the bag from my shoulders onto the ground. It was so much lighter than it usually was, mostly because I didn't bother packing much food, only soldier pills that I've been running on really.

I heard the plop of the other two bags and even Sai made a content sigh when his body collapsed on the ground. Within seconds, Naruto's loud snores rumbled through the air and if I was my normal self, I would've hit him for it. The kid sounded like a freaking blow horn.

"Would you like ramen for dinner or would you prefer me to go hunt for something quickly?" Sai asked, just after I heard his head softly hit the bag he was using as a pillow. I was hungry but too tired to get up and too sympathetic to make my other teammate do it for me.

"No, I'm not hungry." I told him and he only hummed in response. I kneeled down and dug through my bag to find the black pills I was looking for but instead, my hand connected with a small orange bottle with a paper taped to the side.

Confused, I pulled it off and read the neat script. '_Sakura, I didn't get a chance to find you before your next mission so I slipped these in your bag when you arrived at the hospital to collect your medical equipment. There are fifty tablets, just as I told you in the lab but please remember what I told you about them. They are only to be consumed in dire situations and only as help to aid you in an escape. Don't take more than one and keep in mind that these are not soldier pills; they won't help regenerate more chakra if you are near empty. Take care of yourself. –Kinji._'

Holding my breath, I slipped the top off of the bottle and saw the red capsules. So he did come through with his word. Excitedly, I slipped one into the palm of my hand and rolled it around for a few seconds before lifting it up to my mouth. Just as it touched my lips, I was stopped with my teammate's whisper.

Sai had lifted himself off of the ground and had his head tilted to the right with his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. "Do you hear that?" he asked softly.

I lowered the pill back into the bottle and tossed it back in my bag before listening closely too. I concentrated as hard as I could but my eyes ended up growing to the size of saucers. I tried to detect something, anything, but the memories of the day I fought with Kabuto came rushing back to me.

The forest was absolutely silent. Not a single bird chirping or bush rustling could be heard and it was unnerving. I looked at Sai as he looked at me and he nodded in confirmation of my conclusion. Someone was watching us and shielding their chakra at the same time.

Sai nudged Naruto with his foot and the blonde shot straight up before glancing at our tense figures and doing the same. I slowly pulled a kunai from the pouch strapped to my leg and crouched down.

I looked hesitantly at the boys before glancing at the trees around us. "We know you're there. It would be easier for all of us if you would just come out." I called to whoever was hiding. It was a few seconds before a three blurs suddenly appeared in front of us. I wanted to scream out right then. I wanted to punch the ground in a fit of anger but I needed a cool head. I had to stay calm since Naruto obviously wouldn't.

I didn't recognize the faces of two of the shinobi in front of me, only the crossed out musical notes on their hitae ate. The other was a painfully familiar face and the black robes with red clouds helped a lot. Hidan stood proudly with his chest puffed out and his red scythe leaning over his shoulder in a very casual manner. My stomach dropped as I realized just how much trouble we were in.

Naruto stepped forward and just had to open his big mouth. "What the hell do you three want?"

The two Sound Nin began laughing menacingly while the Akatsuki member just grinned. "Why, haven't you figured it out already? We've come to chop your fucking heads off!" he announced in his smooth voice. I guess nobody was joking when they mentioned his terrible language.

I was taken aback by his statement and his very presence. Wasn't he supposed to be dead? "Didn't Shikamaru kill your sorry ass?" Naruto shot back, receiving a grin in return.

"It's a wonder what a medic can do, huh? This wasn't exactly what we were told to do but why not take you out now? Now, let's get down to business. We can avoid a whole lot of bloodshed and fun if the little Kyubbi vessel comes with us and the other two go down without a fight."

I snorted at that, my anger rising with the threat on my friend's life. "And why would we just give him up?"

One of the Sound Nin, the one with six arms laughed loudly and my stomach dropped again at the sight. It was Kidoumaru. Didn't Neji kill him as well? How are these people still alive? After a once over on the man standing next to him, I realized it was the supposed-to-be-dead Kimimaro. What was going on?

Kidoumaru stepped forward and licked his lips. "I'm guessing that you are remembering us now? I have to say, you three come from one hell of a village. We aren't easy opponents and your precious _comrades _took us down. But you three aren't the others, are you? We have a pale kid who manipulates ink; wow, what a skill." He said sarcastically before continuing. "Then we have Naruto who just doesn't think when in a fight; an easy opponent. Then we have Sakura. I've heard a lot about you, pinkie. A star medic and all but I have a question for you." A small smile graced his lips. "How much use can you be to your teammates if you're dead, huh?"

In the blink of an eye, the dark-skinned monster was in my face with a menacing smirk. I didn't feel the fear that I should've felt. It wasn't every day that one of Oruchimaru's main bodyguards were threatening me only a few inches away but I couldn't muster up any emotions other than anger. I was going into my fighting mode and that wasn't good for anyone here. I wouldn't go down without a fight.

Hidan quickly stepped forward and put his hand on Kidoumaru's shoulder as if they were long lost friends. "Now, we can't deviate from the plan, can we? After all, this medic is not one to mess with. Since it doesn't seem that they will go down easily, let's get this show on the road. You are only to fight who we agreed to fight, no changing it up. I don't need any mishaps happening. Now, get on with it."

It was obvious who was running this whole operation because as soon as Hidan made the command, he stepped up to me, Kimimaro appeared in front of Sai with the same lack of emotion as he had, and Kidoumaru slyly jumped in front of Naruto with a feral grin.

I turned back to Hidan with a thousand curse words hanging onto my tongue, begging to be released but I just had to leave that to him. He had enough foul language for the both of us.

I could hear Naruto jumping into action as he always did, wasting no time to take down his opponent. Kidoumaru just laughed and fled from the area we were in to a deeper part of the forest.

Sai had his own way of doing things and he wasn't one to make the first move so when Kimimaro turned and casually walked in a different direction, away from Hidan and I, Sai simply followed but as soon as they were out of sight, a few mini explosions went off and I knew they had started their battle as well.

Hidan was smiling at me as if his whole plan was falling into place; which it probably was. The Hidden Leaf Shinobi weren't ones to turn down a battle like this and he was counting on that.

I leapt back as soon as his hands started to blur together in a series of hand signs and it only angered me more that I didn't know what tricks he had up his sleeve. Shikamaru was the one who originally killed him, not me. I didn't quite know what I was up against.

Suddenly, kunai and shuriken erupted from the trees along with several of Hidan's clones. None of the clones had his legendary three-bladed scythe, thank Kami, or else I would be in even more serious trouble than I already was.

I quickly made four of my own shadow clones to send after his and when I faced him again, he had an appreciative smirk on his face. "You do understand that you're a fucking legend, right? Everyone knows about how you study with that bitch, Tsunade, and all that shit. How is it, working with her I mean?" His chill inducing laugh rang in my ears along with his words.

I did the first thing I did in just about all of my fights and created an unstable fighting ground that only I was accustomed to by slamming my chakra fist into the rocks and soil around me. Just as it had happened before the mission and before Kakashi had stopped me, the trees and around us within a five hundred foot radius was uprooted and thrown a good distance away.

Hidan was thrown back in surprise, not imagining that I had so much strength but he was back on his feet soon after and his laugh once again pierced my ears. Excitement that I hadn't felt since my fight with Kabuto bubbled up in my blood and a small part of me was surprised by it. I was surprised by how much I wanted to see his blood splattered all over the ground; how much I wanted to see this man dead. I was itching for it.

I smiled too and ran forward without any hesitation as our clones danced around us in battle. He met me halfway and our kunai clashed together in a series of clangs as I sliced deep into his cheek. I was a little worried about how satisfied I was in watching the red liquid ooze quickly down to his chin. What kind of monster was I turning into?

"Do you really think you could defeat me?" Hidan screamed out as I flew back to my original place. I made a series of hand signs and watched in amusement as his eyes widened at the sight of the leaves that floated off of the trees and began to spin around him. It was satisfying to see them cut deep into his skin and to see him cry out in pain and displeasure but as soon as my jutsu stopped, the cuts healed on his body, leaving only angry red lines in their place.

I choked on the air that was already in my lungs. "How- how can you do that?" I asked, astonished that he was back to normal.

"Babe, you have to get a lot closer than that to do any damage to me." He announced proudly, his eyes darkening and gleaming with danger. I had wanted to avoid getting that close to him but I guess I had no choice now.

I quickly made to more shadow clones and sent them into hiding to use for backup later if need be. Hidan only looked happy at that and it made me want to rip my hair out. There was nothing funny about this fight but I guess he could disagree.

"So physical nin jutsus don't work on you huh? You need something like Shikamaru to hold you down first?" I tantalized, looking for a weak point with every breath he took.

He smiled and moved the grip on his scythe. "That kid was a joke. He was only lucky that he buried me under all those damn rocks but I guess it didn't work. I mean, what kind of ninja wouldn't properly finish off a job like that?"

"It's not his fault that you're such a damn psychopath," I spat back in disgust. I felt a headache form in the front of my head.

"Aw, you almost had me believing that you meant that." Suddenly he ran towards me with his maniacal laugh ringing in my ears. I jumped to the side at the last minute but he followed after me, swinging his three-bladed weapon menacingly.

_Don't let it touch you. If it catches even a drop of your blood you're as good as dead._ I told myself, back-flipping to the right just as he appeared above where I was and swung his weapon into the exploded ground.

"Wow, you're a fast one, eh?" he mocked chasing me over our small battlefield with violent swings and laughter. It was impossible to think of a plan while he was constantly on my tail and that made it ten times harder to figure out what to do. This wasn't the academy any more. If I didn't figure something out then he was going to kill all of us. My teammate's lives were on the line here and it was all up to me to stop this menace.

All of a sudden I thought of something that probably wouldn't work in a thousand years but it was all I had. I just needed him to stand still for even five seconds so that one of my clones could cut his head off. I just needed time; time that I obviously didn't have.

Hidan seemed to be in a rush to hurry the fight up so I stalled as long as I possibly could. Who knows, maybe someone was coming to help us out.

The Akatsuki member wouldn't stop for a single millisecond and the constant battle was wearing me out. I was burning through my chakra from forcing it to my feet in order to jump away from him fast enough and this was not going to end well unless I did something fast.

A grim smile crossed his face as he suddenly stopped about ten feet away from me. Something about his look made me not want to attack at that moment though so I slid to a stop a few yards away from him. "Kimimaro, I told you this was my fight."

The white-haired shinobi appeared a little to my right and I jumped back on an instant to put more distance between us. "Well Hidan, my opponent passed out and I don't feel like killing him when he's like that so I'll just help you out until you get what you need for the ceremony."

Hidan smiled at that as if this was the happiest he could have been told. "Well that sounds like a damn good plan."

It was then that I saw my opening that bought me at least a little bit of time. It was Kimimaro's slight hesitation that made me realize that these two were not accustomed to working together, let alone with one opponent. They would only get in each other's ways and it would definitely help me out.

A coy smile finally found its way to my face and both shinobi against me seemed a little shocked about it. They were not expecting confidence from me and again, that was something that I could work with. "Then come and get me," I teased.

Kimimaro held up his hands in my direction and I watched as sharp bones began to poke out from underneath his skin in ways that made me want to cringe. It wasn't natural for the dead to rise, let alone bones to be used as weapons in the way he was.

The bones shot out at me at me and I quickly darted away with all the speed that I could possibly muster up. When I truly tried, I was quite strong and fast but not many people knew that. These two would just have to figure it out.

I quickly reached into one of my pockets and hooked a series of explosion tags on wire and began to string them all around the area we were in. As long as I stayed where I was then they would too. They weren't as accustomed as I was to working in an environment that required such precision and if the situation wasn't so threatening then I would have enjoyed watching them struggle to not set off the tags.

Hidan stopped racing after me and left me jumping and doing backflips with Kimimaro chasing after me. His menacing laugh filled the air around us and made me grit my teeth in anger. "You must really know what you're doing, huh? I have to admit, this was a great idea to try and keep us on our toes. We aren't like you; we can't keep doing fucking acrobatics until someone gives up so why don't we just make this easier, huh?"

I watched in complete horror as Hidan lifted his scythe and swiftly sliced through the very center of all the wires, setting off every explosion that I was using to put me at an advantage. I didn't have any time to jump away or build up a chakra shield for protection and my body took the full blunt of my thoughtlessness. I should've known that he wouldn't care about a few explosions; he was Akatsuki and he healed just as quick as I could heal someone with my own chakra.

Rocks and probably branches from the obliterated trees cut deep into my skin all around me and I ducked down to protect my head but it didn't do much good. Something sharply hit the back of my skull and it throbbed painfully but that didn't compare in the least bit to the cold metal and bone that pierced my abdomen simultaneously.

The scream that was threatening to break loose from my throat got caught from the choking sound that instead broke from my mouth. A pain more intense than anything I've ever felt before erupted from my stomach and spread all over my body. My knees were shaking as if they were the leaves blowing in the wind that gently blew the smoke away from us.

As soon as I was able to see again, I wanted to scream when I saw Hidan only a few inches in front of me with his three-bladed scythe sticking clean through me. Right beside that was the sharp bone that Kimimaro fought with but that was sticking out in the front.

I could feel the white-haired shinobi's labored breath on the back of my neck and that's when I knew that he was hurt too when trying to stab me from behind. "You bastard," I heard him choke out while Hidan just erupted in laughter again.

"It's not my damn fault that you got in the fucking way. You know, I never did like you Sound Nin; I'll be glad to be done with you all. Don't think that my ceremony is over with just because your blood got mixed with hers. You're just gonna fucking die too, I guess."

Hidan yanked his weapon out from my abdomen and a piercing scream finally broke free from my lips as I sank down to the ground. Blood quickly began to seep from the wounds left by both opponents and I felt blood run down the sides of my mouth as I coughed violently.

The Akatsuki member ran his weapon along his tongue and his eyes rolled back as a contented moan escaped his lips. I watched with narrowed vision as he drew a symbol on the ground with his blood coated shoe and his skin instantly changed colors to black while white markings that appeared like bone rose to his skin.

His low chuckle sent shivers through my whole body. How was I supposed to get out of this? "Now Kakashi, I'm sorry that you missed our little party. I'm sure you remember how much fun we had last time we met. I promise that we can have our own ceremony right after I handle these two."

I whipped my head around our makeshift battlefield until my eyes landed on my stunned ex-sensei staring at me with both of his visible eyes widened with fear and surprise. "S-Sakura," he stuttered, clearly astonished that I had done a terrible job at taking down such notorious Nins. Hidan laughed loudly but we both ignored him as he watched our exchange.

I winced and clutched my bleeding stomach while kneeling down even closer to the ground than before. "Kakashi, go check on Sai and Naruto. I need to know that they are alright." I called out to him, knowing he heard me despite my weak voice. Kakashi hears everything.

He stepped forward as if to run to me but Hidan held a kunai to the edge as his neck and pierced it just enough for a few drops to run down his neck, thus breaking the skin on my neck too. Kakashi's eyes widened further and it appeared as if they watered slightly.

He didn't move towards me any more knowing what Hidan would do. "Sakura, I can't just leave you here like this!"

"You have to!" I screamed back. "There is nothing you can do about me now; it's too late. Go save the rest of the team though. I'll handle these two pricks."

Hidan pressed the kunai further into his neck and I winced again. "I wouldn't be the one insulting me if I were you." He sang.

I looked back at Kakashi's horror stricken face and had to remind myself not to cry now. It wouldn't do anyone any good. "Kakashi, go help them. There's nothing you can go for me now." I muttered the last part before remembering the words that he once had spoken to me. "Kakashi, I leave my body to you. Remind Ino to not order too many flowers for me back home. Knowing her, she would put her family out of business trying to get so many for me. Take care of yourself."

We both knew that I was talking about my funeral since there wasn't a single chance that I would make it out of here alive. I lost and now I had to pay the price.

Kakashi disappeared from my sight then and my heart sank a little at his absence even though I was the one who sent him off.

I rose to my feet slowly and cringed at the intense fire that ripped through my body. I didn't know how long I had but maybe I could take at least one of them down before that happens.

Hidan burst with laughter again as a loud boom came from the North of us where Naruto had gone to fight. I guess Kakashi was finishing it for him. "You know, I was hoping that our fight would last a little longer but I'm still kind of impressed. It takes one hell of a fucking Nin to go against two notorious criminals and survive for as long as you have. Maybe things would have been different if your little Shadow Technique friend didn't bury me under thousands of pounds of rubble!" he ended in a scream of anger but an evil smile soon took over him again.

_It's all over. This is the end. At least I'm dying for my village. I just wish I could've found love before this moment but everything happens for a reason. Maybe Kakashi will finally realize how strong I can really be and he'll think of me just as highly as he does Naruto and Sasuke… maybe._

I clenched my fist in distress and felt my fingernails dig deep into my palm. It was normal for me to do that and old habits die hard. I looked up at my opponent but instead of looking at me, he was staring at his palms with wide eyes and when I tuned to Kimimaro, he was doing the same thing.

I realized then what was going on and I couldn't help the feral smile that flashed across my lips. "It goes both ways," I muttered just as Kakashi and Naruto appeared through the trees carrying an unconscious Sai.

I was so wrapped up in my newly-found information that their presence didn't change a single thing. I was suddenly hyped up and excited and my mind was going a thousand miles a second trying to figure out what my next move was.

I slowly grabbed a kunai from a holster on my leg and looked at the shiny metal before taking a deep breath and driving it into my right thigh. Kimimaro collapsed onto the ground and Hidan hissed angrily. The pain burning throughout my body was beginning to blend together and I knew that I needed to hurry this up.

I took a step towards Hidan and watched him flinch the slightest bit. "You didn't tell me that this little ritual of yours goes both ways."

"What the hell," Naruto said in wonder, not knowing exactly what was going on. I didn't know either and part of me feared of my own abilities at that moment.

The burning rage that had been stopped by Kakashi at the training arena weeks ago ignited again and I barely recognized the sting of my nails digging into my palms again. I chuckled darkly, surprising not only my opponent, and casually brought the tip of my own weapon to my stomach before drawing a long, thin line against my exposed skin that had been uncovered during the explosions.

His deep voice was thick with emotion when he spoke but it did nothing to calm me down. I was beside myself. "Sakura, stop doing this. You're only causing yourself more pain." Kakashi called out to me but it's not like he could try to stop me. We would all die if he tried to anyway.

Hidan grunted in pain and it oddly pleasured me to see that when the tables were turned, the ritual was not enjoyable. His contorted face turned up towards mine with a sneer. "This isn't going to change anything. You're still going to die!" he yelled across the destroyed ruins of my chakra fist.

I could physically feel something in me snap. It was as if my self control was internally a thin twig and it completely shattered when Hidan's eyes fell on me. My built-up rage from over the past few months seemed to bubble over the edge and I knew there was no going back. I was beyond stopping myself and my anger seemed to push the hurt girl in me to the back of my mind. It was a self-defense action in way but at the same time, this was not how I wanted my teammates to remember me. I didn't want their last memory of me to be of my hand going through another Nin's chest but there was no way I could be stopped now. I was gone.


	8. Chapter 8- The Blame

Chapter 8- Kakashi

I was surely losing my mind.

My heart was pounding in my chest as another large explosion went off miles ahead of me. I was too late, too late to intervene before my team was ambushed. Fear ran so deep in my veins that I couldn't think coherently and any physical pain was long forgotten since I heard Sakura's fist uproot the ground. That sound was unmistakable and I could pick it out easily even though I was still such a distance away.

It was worse while not knowing who they were up against and it was impossible to go any faster than I already was. I had long ditched Genma who couldn't keep up with my speed but for once I didn't care. The very thought of Sakura hurt or dead fueled emotions that I thought I never had.

My breath was coming out in gasps and I wanted to scream and yell out to my comrades to attempt to stop the fight that they were engaged in but it wouldn't be enough. I know that they are Jonin but anyone stupid enough to even attempt an attack on the Kyubbi vessel or Tsunade's student obviously isn't weak. They knew what they were up against.

It worries me to know that Sakura would be undefended right now because it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Naruto and Sai would have branched off by now to fight on their own. It was impossible for this to be the doings of one Nin, no, this was so much bigger than we originally thought.

The conversation with Tsunade kept running through my head over and over, making the fear that was already growing in my stomach increase tenfold.

_I should have realized how bad the situation was from the second that I could hear Tsunade's angry screaming from outside of the Hokage tower. It didn't take much to anger the woman but it was unlike her to be this irate._

_I quickly climbed the stairs up to her office, afraid to make her more upset but when I opened her door, I realized how impossible that was._

_Everything was trashed; her desk could be seen through the broken window on the roof of the closest building to us and papers scattered the floor. Shizune was cowering in the corner with tears running down her face and Genma stood next to her while looking confused._

_Tsunade wheeled around to look at me the second that I walked in and I saw how she tightly clenched a single paper in her palm. Her face was red and I was instantly taken aback by her ferocity._

_"We were tricked!" she screamed, kicking her desk chair that was already upside down on the floor so that it shattered into millions of pieces. "It wasn't real and we fell for it! Now they are Kami knows where with who knows what ready to attack them!"_

_My stomach dropped and the breath I was holding whooshed out of me. She didn't have to tell me who she was talking about; I could tell by how upset she was. She didn't care about anyone as much as she cared about Naruto and Sakura._

_"What do you mean, 'we were tricked,'" Genma questioned, worriedly glancing down at Shizune as she sobbed loudly._

_Tsunade punched a hole through the wall. "The mission sent from the Land of the Waves! I sent a message back to them after Team Seven left to tell them that the requested Nins were on their way and their reply just came back." Another punch. "THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I WAS TALKING ABOUT! THEY NEVER SENT A FUCKING REQUEST FOR ANYONE IN THE HIDDEN LEAF VILLAGE!" she screamed and in the blink of an eye, the wall that had just been fixed from her last angry tirade was reduced to rubble._

_Genma swallowed in fear and eyed the distressed woman. "So what you're saying is…" he trailed off._

_"What I'm saying is that I sent my most beloved Nin out on a fake mission that they are going to get ambushed on! The mission request was fake and forged and we don't even know who did it!" a few more violent actions were made but all I could do was stand there with wide eyes. "I need you two to go and bring them back. Find out who the hell dared to do this to us and kill them!"_

I haven't stopped since that day but my exhaustion was the last thing on my mind. I needed to know that they were okay. I needed to know that _she_ was okay. I don't know why I was worried more about her than anyone else but I was and it bothered me.

Pakkun appeared by my side but he didn't say a word, somehow knowing that nothing was going to help me right now. I just needed to know that they were safe.

Another explosive cloud appeared in the sky and the scream that I knew belonged to only Sakura followed shortly after. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I pushed myself to go even faster.

A light appeared in front of me where the clearing was and I ran to it as fast as I possibly could. The sun blinded me for a split second when I reached the destroyed battlefield but I froze the second I did.

My worst nightmare was projected right in front of me. My worst fear of something happening to Sakura was standing no more than fifty feet from me. I was too late, too late to be of any use. I was too late.

The smoke the explosion gently blew away with the soft wind and what was left in its place sent shivers of fear running down my spine. Sakura stood with trembling knees and a bloodied body, tattered to pieces.

I first noticed his black cloak with swirling red clouds and then I noticed the massive three-bladed scythe the pierced clean through Sakura's abdomen and into that of Kimimaro who was standing right behind her. My eyes landed on the Sound Nin's sharp bone that protruded from his right hand and then the tip of it that was clean through Sakura's chest and poking through on her front side.

I drifted my gaze to Hidan's triumphant smile and finally to Sakura's face that was completely worn and twisted with pain. Sakura made a choking sound before coughing and I cringed at the sight of blood being objected from her body. There was blood everywhere; her blood, and the area we were all standing in was utterly destroyed. Every tree within a quarter mile was uprooted and thrown another fifty feet from that.

It was obvious to see that Sakura had given her all but even I wouldn't have thought she would have made it this far. I was familiar with both of the shinobi that she was up against and to think that my little Sakura had lasted even five minutes against the both of them made me want to beam with pride but I couldn't.

There have not been many shinobi in this world that has been capable of killing an Akatsuki member; it was unheard of until only a few short years ago. I have had my fair share of fights with them and each time I've barely walked away with my life. Hidan was no joke. He gave me and Shikamaru a run for our money for a while until we finally took him down. So why was he standing in front of Sakura?

Kimimaro is supposed to be dead, why isn't he either? This wasn't a dream, this wasn't a nightmare. Two of the deadliest Nin in the world has come back from the dead and looking almost completely unscathed. This wasn't natural; this wasn't supposed to be possible. So how are they here?

I was completely frozen and unable to move myself even an inch as I gaped at the scene presented before me. A million questions ran through my mind all at once without a single clue on how to answer them.

Kimimaro was breathing heavily, just as Sakura was, but even then I could detect the slight anger in his voice. "You bastard," Hidan only broke out into raucous laughter.

"It's not my damn fault that you got in the fucking way. You know, I never did like you Sound Nin; I'll be glad to be done with you all. Don't think that my ceremony is over with just because your blood got mixed with hers. You're just gonna fucking die too, I guess."

Hidan sighed in content before ripping his scythe out of Sakura's delicate body and the same time that Kimimaro withdrew his. The Sound Nin stumbled backwards in pain while the pink-haired medic dropped like a rock to her knees. I could see her trying to hold everything in; the blood, the pain, the emotions that would only fuel her opponent's happiness.

I should have swept in to save Sakura right then but I was couldn't remove my eyes from Hidan as he smiled and brought the bloody scythe to his lips and ran his tongue along the edge. I was horrified as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. His feet glided across the ground, tracing an invisible path with Sakura's blood that had gotten on his shoe. His skin changed colors almost instantly, making him as more of a demon than anything.

He chuckled, letting his head tilt in my direction as his cold eyes met mine. I had long ago removed my hitae from my sharingan eye and I wished with everything in me that I could hurt him but it would only kill Sakura. "Now Kakashi, I'm sorry that you missed our little party. I'm sure you remember how much fun we had last time we met. I promise that we can have our own ceremony right after I handle these two."

I was utterly lost for words and for the life of me I couldn't draw in a normal breath. I saw her head quickly whip around but when she noticed me and I looked her head on, I almost got sick. Her skin was sickly pale and the bruises under her eyes from exhaustion were so pronounced that it looked as if someone had smeared mud there. "S-Sakura," I stuttered, unable to speak clearly with the growing pain in my chest. I barely realized Hidan laughing again as I got lost in her dull-but-normally-shiny eyes.

Her eyes squinted in pain and she fell forward more, unable to hold herself up very well. "Kakashi, go check on Sai and Naruto. I need to know that they are alright." She yelled out to me in a weak voice. I only began to notice the distant angry screams of Naruto as she reminded me that they were fighting for their lives too but for some reason I couldn't seem to care about them as much as her right now.

I reached my hand out on instinct for the very thought of leaving her right now pained me but Hidan quickly pressed a kunai to his own neck and my eyes widened to see a small bit of the skin on Sakura's neck to split and draw blood as well. Tears pricked my eyes for the first time since I saw my father dead on the floor. I was about to cry for her.

I stopped my attempt to advance closer to them and just called out to her in a tone as calm as I possibly could. "Sakura, I can't just leave you here like this!"

"You have to!" She screamed back, clenching her stomach tighter. "There is nothing you can do about me now; it's too late. Go save the rest of the team though. I'll handle these two pricks."

Hidan pressed the kunai further into his neck and she winced again. "I wouldn't be the one insulting me if I were you." He sang.

She looked back at me with pleading eyes; those big emerald eyes that were always filled with such happiness and compassion up until a few months ago. "Kakashi, go help them. There's nothing you can go for me now." She muttered quietly before continuing. "Kakashi, I leave my body to you. Remind Ino to not order too many flowers for me back home. Knowing her, she would put her family out of business trying to get so many for me. Take care of yourself."

I saw red. I was the one who said that to her on that fateful day so long ago. We've been through so much together; as teammates and friends. We've been through Chunin exams and I saved her from Sasuke when she ditched her squad to try and kill him on her own. She saved me from dying more times than I could possibly count and now she was the one begging for me to leave her. She didn't know how impossible that was.

I looked down at the destroyed ground beneath me as my fists clenched together. I need to get Naruto and Sai and then save Sakura. It would be easier for Hidan to think we've given up on saving her and then dive back in when he least expects it.

I used my transportation jutsu to get to Naruto's fighting area but this time I was less surprised to see yet another supposed-to-be-dead Nin. Naruto and Kidoumaru were panting and staring at each other with so much intensity that neither noticed my arrival for a few moments.

I was beyond speaking, too angry to find any coherent words so I transported behind the Sound Nin and formed my Chidori, running it through his chest just as he turned around with wide eyes. It was too easy, or maybe because I couldn't think straight. The dead man went flying across the field and crashed through several trees before slumping to the ground.

Naruto stared at me in awe but that soon turned into a grimace when he saw my livid expression. "Sai got knocked out a while ago. He was fighting Kimimaro but I don't know where the bony bastard went after that. Sakura sounds like she's having fun." He replied with a wide smile before another one of Sakura's exasperated screams pierced the air.

His eyes widened and we both took off towards her direction once again. We found our little artist along the way and Naruto tossed him over his shoulder so we could continue on our way. I would have killed him if I had to carry him. Because he got himself knocked out, Sakura had to fight two Nin at once. This was partly his fault.

Naruto and I skid to halt as soon as we made it the battleground and Naruto cussed lowly under his breath. Sakura was on her feet (barely) and her knees were shaking so hard that it almost appeared as if they were bumping into each other.

Kimimaro was standing a good ten feet behind her with blood slowly seeping out of his own wounds. They weren't nearly as bad as the girl's in front of him though. The three of them were staring at their hands, the Sound Nin in confusion, Hidan in horror, and Sakura with awe.

She slowly raised her head to look at the Akatsuki member and he swallowed hard. "It goes both ways." She said softly. The pieces in my mind began to slide into place and I nearly keeled over at the resulting knowledge. Sakura can hurt Hidan through the jutsu's connection just as much as he can hurt her.

Sakura reached down to her leg holster and pulled out a kunai. She eyed it carefully, took a deep breath, and as quick as lighting, stabbed herself in the right thigh.

Kimimaro cried out and sank to his knees while Hidan hissed loudly, obviously not enjoying the pain when it was turned on him. Sakura's eyes fluttered the slightest bit; the only portrayer of the real pain that she is feeling.

She took a step forward and Hidan flinched back. "You didn't tell me that this little ritual of yours goes both ways," she said, a lethal smile inching its way to her lips.

"What the hell," Naruto said in wonder, not knowing exactly what was going on. I was keeping tabs on everything though. She was going to play with her opponent just as he had planned to do with her. I needed to stop her from that though. She could possibly live now that we know the loophole but not if she lets her anger get in the way.

Suddenly, the medic's usually green chakra began to flicker on the outside of her skin. I frowned even more than before as I watched her take the kunai in her hand again and dragged the sharp tip across the skin right below her naval. Blood jumped from the open wound and Naruto winced at the image.

I couldn't stop myself from calling out to her. I didn't want to try approaching without a plan for fear of Hidan just plunging something through his heart and killing her on the spot. "Sakura, stop doing this. You're only causing yourself more pain." She acted as if I hadn't even said a word; as if I wasn't even there.

Hidan grunted in pain and her smile widened as if it pleasured her to see him in pain. His contorted face turned up towards hers with a sneer. "This isn't going to change anything. You're still going to die!"

Suddenly, the green chakra on her skin turned into a deep, dark red and Sakura dropped her head to the ground so that I couldn't see her eyes. I could only see how she clenched her fists and how she grinded her teeth. I could hear how an animalistic growl escaped her mouth and Hidan made the mistake of stepping back with fear.

Her head snapped up to his and it horrified me to see her usually emerald eyes to be pitch black and empty, as if Sakura wasn't even in there.

She took a step forward as he took one back again. She paused and smiled. The smile wasn't sweet like it usually is and it wasn't one that she would give to cheer up a friend in need. It was something dark and sinister and it made me realize how dangerous this situation really is. Sakura has lost herself.

Hidan raised his scythe as if daring her to take another step forward. He was trying to stay rooted to his spot but I didn't understand why until she charged at him, forcing the angry man to dive away. The jutsu didn't work unless he was standing on the symbol he drew.

_We can actually do this. We can really beat him._ I thought, jumping into action to help my teammate. Sakura laughed loudly and chased after him like this was all a game. Her red chakra flared out and burned everything that it touched.

I landed in front of Hidan, making him skid to an almost stop before running in a different direction frantically. Sakura never gave up, following him again while throwing kunai and shuriken at his blurred figure.

"This jutsu of yours has lots of kinks, don't you think?" she called menacingly after him. Hidan suddenly turned around, throwing his scythe at her. She easily maneuvered around it and boldly shot to him, landing a chakra-laced punch right on his cheek. He flew backwards and narrowly landed on his feet while sending Sakura a glare. Hidan laughed then and disappeared right before our eyes.

I visibly tensed up when I couldn't even feel his chakra signal. He didn't abandon this fight; he's too prideful for that, so where did he go?

"I didn't think you were the kind to duck and hide, Hidan." Sakura called out to him darkly. "You seem to be more of the direct type."

We were met with silence and it was unnerving. Kimimaro stood weakly to his feet and grimaced with the pain. He held his palm on her direction and in seconds, a sharp bone poked through his skin until it grew to be at least three feet long. "I didn't expect to fight you, a medic," he called out to her. "But don't think that I won't kill you. It's better this way; you would have only had to deal with Hidan and not the rest of the Akatsuki. This will make it very painless for you, believe it or not."

"What the hell are you babbling about?" Naruto screamed out angrily. The Sound Nin didn't even glance in his direction, instead keeping his steady gaze on this pink-haired medic.

He drew in a long, deep breath before continuing. "You have a lot coming towards you. If I let you live, you will surely watch all of your friends die and honestly, this situation will go a lot farther than I'm willing to let it go. This whole thing is so much bigger than you think. You have no idea what is going on.

"I know what happened to your parents and believe me when I say things are soon going to be much worse than that. Don't underestimate who you are up against." Kimimaro warned, his expressionless face dotted with drops of blood.

At the mention of her parents, Sakura's chakra lashed out wildly, narrowly missing where I was by inches if I had not moved out of the way. She wasn't in control anymore.

In one swift movement, she appeared in front of the Sound Nin and the poor guy didn't even see it coming. Her foot swung high over her own body, lading directly across Kimimaro's temple and sending him crashing into the ground. Blood oozed everywhere from his shattered skull but what bothered me the most was how Sakura didn't even blink or hesitate. It was over that quickly.

Suddenly, Hidan's eerie laughter filled the air around us. It was impossible to pinpoint where he was especially when his scent was everywhere already. My eyes scanned the woods in the distance that was actually still standing but all I could see was the darkness shadows.

Out of nowhere, Hidan appeared a good thirty feet above Sakura and he plummeted towards her while swinging his scythe, fully prepared to cleanly take her head off. I didn't even get the chance to call out to her and even while taking off in their direction, I knew I wouldn't make it to them in time.

"I've got you now!" he screamed in happiness while a feral smile twisted upon his black lips.

Everything flashed before my eyes right then. I remember Sakura when I was first assigned Team Seven. She was absolutely infatuated with the little Uchiha boy and I can recall just shaking my head at the actions and thinking about how she wouldn't make it as a shinobi.

In every mission we were in her first priority would be Sasuke's attention but she never got it. Fast forward to the Chunin exams, and that's where I first saw even the slightest bit of promise in the young girl. She had protected her teammates and risked her self-image to save them. I still brushed it off as a spur of the moment decision and singled her out.

Then Sasuke left. She changed before my eyes after that. While Naruto was away with Jiraiya, Sakura and I stopped training mostly because I thought she was done being a Ninja. I thought she was done with putting herself on the line for people who she didn't appear to like.

But then I heard Tsunade raving about her new student, Sakura Haruno. I was offended but after feeling that for a few days, I turned the blame back to me. It was my fault that she never got to show her true potential since I was always trying to get the two boys to excel. Sakura reminded me too much of Rin.

The first time I was even the slightest bit interested in Sakura was when Naruto returned from training and Team Seven (minus the Uchiha) trained again for the first time in years. She had smashed the ground with so much force and strength that I couldn't help but compare her to the Hokage herself. They had the same temper, the same strength, the same jutsus. I could see how much more mature the new Sakura looks with long, toned legs and a full chest. She wasn't the same helpless little girl I had come to know.

We became close after that, especially after returning from the retrieval mission for Sasuke. We had all come to terms that he wasn't coming back and we reveled in the chance to just live our lives again. Sakura and I often went for long walks in the woods and for hours neither of us would say a word. We wouldn't need to; she had become wise and saw things differently than the materialistic youth that she used to be. She became best friends with the Jonins in the village and went to Suna for a while to study with Kazekage Gaara himself. She was loved by everyone for her kind heart and lively soul.

I would never admit it to anyone but the thought of her lying in a black coffin with her pink hair splayed across the pillow beneath her made tears jump to my eyes. I wouldn't know what to do without her, she was the one who always made me leave my apartment on my down days and she was the only one who could make me truly laugh with happiness.

_I will only live to her funeral. _I decided, my hands clenching into fists. _The day that I have to lay a cherry blossom on her memorial is the day that my life will end. It's my fault that she is in this mess and it's unfair for her to die without me. I was supposed to protect her and I failed. I don't deserve to live without her right next to me._

I was brought out of my thoughts when Hidan was only a few feet above Sakura. I didn't want to look but for some reason, I couldn't close my eyes. Just as he brought his scythe down to her, her small right hand shot above her and stopped the blade in its path.

My eyes shot wide open and so did Hidan and Naruto's. Sakura hadn't even looked up, she was still staring at the ground as if lost in thought. The blade cut deep into her hand and the only reason it wasn't severed was because of the chakra quickly running over it.

Hidan grunted as he landed behind her, unable to pull his weapon out of her grip. "What the hell are you doing?!" he angrily yelled out.

Sakura slowly raised her head to look at him expressionlessly over her shoulder and with one swift movement, she ripped the scythe out of his hands and grabbed the hilt tightly, her blood running down the metal and dripping onto the ground.

Hidan jumped back as fast as possible, too nervous to attempt to take his blade back but his whole plan backfired in an instant.

He didn't realize until too late that his scythe was still attached to his robe and Sakura only used it as something to jerk him forward. Quicker than he could have even reacted to, Sakura swung the massive blade at his head.

We all froze at the swooshing sound that pierced the air. Sakura slowly un-tensed and dropped the bloody weapon the ground. The Akatsuki member's head landed with a thump on the ground and his body dropped moments later. His skin faded to its regular, human color as his head rolled for a few feet before stopping.

I couldn't breathe properly and apparently, neither could Naruto as we gazed at the scene before us. Sakura did it; she killed Hidan.

"That fucking hurt!" The dismembered head suddenly screamed, gathering everyone's surprised expression except for Sakura. She just looked at him like she was bored and the red chakra around her body slowly faded.

"Well that's what you get for being an asshole. Maybe you should've been more careful with who you picked to fight."

His eyes glared at her. "Did you really have to use my own weapon against me? I mean, come on! That was a fucking dick move!" he screamed.

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "No, attacking us was a dick move. You should have known that I wouldn't have gone down without a fight."

He laughed loudly. "And a fight you gave me! So, I'm the second Akatsuki member that you took down; how does it feel?" he asked her, looking excited. He was just too weird.

Before she was able to answer, a sudden pulse of air wavered and Kakazu was suddenly standing next to the pinkette. Sakura looked at him with a drugged expression and he regarded her with the same.

"Hidan, don't you have any better things to do than breaking the rules?" The man muttered, bending down and picking up the severed head of his teammate.

"Ow, that fucking hurts! Why do you always have to pick me up like this?" Hidan screamed out angrily, trying to bite onto Kakazu's leg.

Kakazu just turned his eyes back to Sakura. The situation processed in my mind and I dived forward, jumping in between the two with a kunai positioned in my hands tightly. Kakazu only narrowed his eyes slightly at me before turning back to Sakura.

"Believe me when I say that I'm glad you're not dead." He spoke calmly. Hidan puffed his cheeks out in aggravation.

"Don't tell me that you're going to be all pissy with me now. I had to get rid of them Sound Nin somehow. They were so fucking annoying; constantly going on about the mission and how not to cross his master and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." He rolled his eyes with each word he spoke. "Even you would have killed them after what I just had to go through."

Kakazu glanced down at Hidan's head and sighed. "How are we supposed to convince them now? I told you that killing them off would be impossible so why would you try to do it with those two asses? You should have known that the medic would ultimately beat you. You're too impulsive."

"Convince us of what?" I spoke carefully, trying to see if I could find any untruthfulness in his voice but I could find none.

Kakazu sighed while Hidan turned his eyes up in his direction. "I'll let you handle this part."

"Like Kimimaro said before you so kindly ended his life, we are not your biggest concern. The Akatsuki is under pressure right now and as unbelievable as it sounds, we will be needing your assistance in the near future. The details are not important right now but please think about it. I apologize for my friend's incompetence and the attack on your comrades. I'm glad that Sakura was able to hold her own for as long as she has." Kakazu said, tightening his grip on Hidan's hair as he screamed in protest.

Naruto stepped forward, dropping a still-unconscious Sai to the ground and raising his own hands in anger. "What the hell makes you think that we will help you after everything you have done to us, to our village? You have killed our friends and our comrades; give me a good reason why we shouldn't kill you right now?!" he screamed.

"I told you, Hidan has never been one to follow another's orders. He acted this whole scenario out on his own with no other connections from the Akatsuki. Believe me when I say he will be getting hell later for it."

Hidan grimaced. "Itachi and Kisame know about this, don't they?" he asked while Kakazu nodded. Hidan groaned loudly, then, "Fuck, they're gonna fucking give me hell for this! Why did you have to fucking tell them?!" He didn't receive an answer.

"Remind me again why we should even let you go." I spoke seriously, glaring at the two of them with everything I had in me. I was dangerously close to losing my cool.

Kakazu kneeled down to pick up Hidan's bloody body and threw it over his shoulder before turning his back to us and walking away. "Because we aren't your enemy anymore. Anyway, you should be getting your partner to another medic soon. She was magnificent during the fight but she won't be alive for too much longer with those injuries." And just like that, they were gone.

No one said anything for a while. What was there to say? Naruto was glaring at Sai was still out cold and I was staring off in the direction that the Akatsuki had gone. As hard as it was for me to believe them, they weren't the type of people to play mind games. If they wanted to kill us, they would straight out admit it.

A light _thud_ shook me out of my reverie and when I turned around, my stomach dropped to see Sakura on her hands and knees. She was gasping for air and blood continuously dripped out of her wounds and onto the broken rocks below her.

I rushed over and brushed away some of her damp, pink hair so that I could get a good look at her face. "We will get you to a hospital soon, Sakura. Suna isn't too far from here so we'll stop there. Just hang on." I told her but she shooed my off of her.

"Naruto," she gasped out, "Bring me my bag. Hurry, it shouldn't be too far from here." she gasped out, her voice wheezing at the end. He took off just like he was told but I tried again to convince her otherwise.

"Sakura, you won't make it all the way back on your own. You've lost too much blood." I told her. I was trying to make it sound like she didn't have a choice in the matter; I wasn't going to let her risk her life anymore that she already has, but that very voice didn't intimidate her as much as it used to when she was younger.

She coughed violently, blood splattering on the ground beneath her. Naruto suddenly appeared in front of her, bag in hand, and gently pushed her back by her shoulder. When her face was more visible, the situation became a nightmare again. Blood was all over her along with the deep gashes and stabs that she just didn't have the energy to heal.

She tried to smile but it turned into a grimace as a painful shivers wracked her body. Her delicate hands reached out for her bag but Naruto ended up helping her open it since she was shaking so much. "I'll be fine guys, really. Just give me a minute to catch my breath." She said, searching for something intently.

She came across what I assumed she was looking for and withdrew a yellowish bottle. Her eyes carefully studied it for a moment, as if wondering whether or not she wanted to take a risk. In the end, she quickly twisted the bottle cap and tapped it against her hand until three capsules rolled into her palm.

"What are those?" Naruto asked but she didn't answer. She just tossed them into her mouth and quickly swallowed.

"Sakura…" I whispered, watching her slowly rise to her feet. She winced halfway up and gasped loudly in pain, clutching onto her wounds as tightly as possible. I wanted to rush up and sweep her into my arms, to protect her from everything that was hurting her but I had to give her the space she deserved. If this had been Naruto in her position I wouldn't be itching to help him; I would assume that he would be able to do it on his own. It's worked into us as children that one day when we graduate from being small, helpless kids that we would have to hold our own in fights just like this. One day, I'm not going to be here to pick her up again.

Naruto seemed to be having the same battle in his head as we watched our beloved friend struggle to her feet. She was unstable; a stumbling and wobbly mess of a girl that couldn't seem to catch a break with anything lately. Her eyebrows scrunched together tightly with the weight of her own injuries.

In the distance I could feel someone's chakra getting closer and closer to ours but after a moment' hesitation, I realized it was only Genma. I quickly told Naruto and Sakura to stay there and I shot over to the side of the clearing that my friend was coming from.

Only a few minutes later he landed next to me, gasping for air with his hand on his throat. "Dammit Kakashi, you couldn't have waited a little bit for me? Damn, I feel like I can't…" he trailed off when he took in his surroundings.

The familiar tune of his low whistle pierced my ears softly as he gazed around in awe. "What in the hell happened here?"

I stuffed my hands in my pockets and turned in the same direction that he was faced at. "Sakura fought Hidan and Kimimaro." I replied emotionlessly.

He swiveled around to gape at me. "But they're dead! How is that possible?"

I shrugged my shoulders as he turned back around. I knew the second that he spotted Sakura's limping form from his sudden tense shoulders and lack of breath. She was slowly making her way towards us with her bag hanging over her back.

When she saw us staring at her, she gave us a pitiful excuse for a smile. You would have to be blind to think that it was real. Her eyes were dull and lifeless and it pained me to see her drag her battered body to us.

Naruto walked slowly next to her, his arms extended to catch her if she fell. It was hard to believe that she was alive even if she didn't look it. Blood was still dripping from her wounds and a steady trail of red led from the edge of her bottom lip to her chin. Her hair was matted with brown and red; her clothes barely clinging to the skin of her body.

I have never seen her withstand so much pain in my life. She didn't even look this bad when she went up against Kabuto but I guess there was a difference.

Her small steps held no life and neither did her eyes. They seemed empty and doubtful; doubtful of what, I don't know. What I saw of her today, I've never seen in her before. The girl was dead on her feet, unconscious really, but was still standing back up even after every fatal blow her body received.

If something like this had happened to her even two years ago, she surely would not have survived. She showed not only astounding physical strength, but mental strength that only a few shinobi that I've met in my entire life have had.

My two ex-students stopped in front of us and Sakura drew in a tight, pained breath from moving around. "Let's go."

Genma looked at her sadly, shaking his head. "Where are we going?"

"Home."

Naruto swiveled his head to look at her angrily and his hands balled into fists. "What the hell are you thinking Sakura? You won't ever make it all the way without dying with those injuries!" he screamed. "Let us help you, please. We can stop at Suna and…"

He stopped talking when she stepped forward and walked past us, heading towards the part of the woods that Genma had just come from. Seconds later, she bent her knees and lurched into the trees; her body almost completely blending in except for her hair.

Her gasp could be heard from here and time seemed to freeze for what felt like days. Her body sunk down into a crouch when her legs weren't able to hold her up anymore.

The three of us held our breaths as we watched her slump down to lean her back against the trunk. Her left hand slid onto her stomach where Hidan and Kimimaro had punctured her and a beautiful shade of green began to glow.

She's used that healing jutsu on me so many times that I could tell even from this distance that it was a much duller color than it should have been. Against the glow, sweat glistened off of her forehead as she snapped her eyes shut tightly and threw her head back against the tree in pain, gritting her teeth together.

It wasn't long before the light of her healing chakra flickered and disappeared entirely. It happened in slow motion in my mind; her bloody hand sliding off of her wounds and her right hand that had been balancing her on the sturdy branch, slipping off. Her head rolled to the side, the rest of her body soon following as the injured medic plummeted to the rocky ground beneath her.

I didn't have to think about it; one second I was standing between my comrades and the next I was taking the impact of her fall as she landed in my arms. She was so much lighter than she should have been but that was the least of my worries.

The wounds that she had been trying to heal were still bleeding profusely and sweat glistened on her skin wherever the red liquid hadn't touched. Her eyes were still molded together in pain and her hands were tight little fists dangling towards the ground.

I was barely aware of Sai's voice confusedly asking what was going and what had happened to the area. Naruto was yelling and Genma was passing out orders left and right, clearly figuring that I wasn't in the proper mind to do so.

"Sai, send out message to the Hokage and inform her that Sakura is in need of immediate medical attention and that we will be in Suna. Send one to Gaara as well and notify him to prepare all of his medics immediately!" Genma called out, forming a series of hand signs before two of his shadow clones appeared beside him. "Go ahead of us and scout the area. We need to avoid any shinobi on the way to our destination; we are in no condition to fight any more," he commanded, swiftly sending them off.

My eye never left her face and I used my sharingan to burn the very image into my mind. I didn't want to forget this moment, I didn't want to forget the moment that I began to realize how important she was to me.

Genma shook my shoulder, drawing my attention to him. "We need to go NOW. She's not going to last much longer if we don't hurry."

As if my attention had never deviated from the mission, I took off running as fast as I could with the small girl in my arms, hoping with everything in me that we would be able to save her in time.

She wasn't just a medic to me, or a girl, or a child, or an acquaintance of mine. She was my friend, my best friend that I was closer to than anyone else. If she were to die because of me, I don't know what I would do.

…

Her skin was pale white and ice cold; her pink hair standing out even more against the white sheets she was laying on. Deep, angry red cuts littered every inch of her visible skin and the bandages that had been wrapped around some of the worst ones bled through a long time ago.

It was only her and I in the room; it had been a silent agreement between everyone that I should be the one to watch over her at night. I wasn't going to argue that for one second and I took my job very seriously by not being willing to remove my eyes from her body once.

Moonlight streamed through the open window, casting shadows over the room but enveloping Sakura in its beautiful, gentle rays of light. Her breathing was shallow and beads of sweat dabbled her forehead no matter how many times I attempted to keep her cool.

She wasn't staying in a regular hospital room (according to Naruto, she deserved much more than a 'stiff bed of hay') so Kazekage Gaara offered one of the better rooms in his own home for Sakura to regain her strength back.

The large bed she slept in completely swamped her as she lay in the very middle. I did have to admit that it was comfortable and I couldn't help the pang of longing that ran through me at the thought of lying next to her, holding her in my arms to protect her from harm.

I was ultimately being stupid though, a side effect of much too little sleep and mental exhaustion over the day's rough events. That's right, it has nothing to do with my own feelings.

As I sat at the edge of her bed, I pulled her bandaged hand into my own and ran my thumb over the blood stain where her palm is underneath the red layers. Only hours ago, Hidan's scythe was piercing through this soft flesh.

I think I was still in a state of shock and for that reason, I carefully released her hand and stood up, making my way over to a chair that was only a few feet from the bed. I sighed as I sank down into the soft cushions and somewhat relaxed my tense muscles.

Hopefully she would wake up soon, hopefully she would remember enough to tell me the whole story of what happened. All I would have to do is pay attention to her words, and not the beautiful and luscious lips that spoke them.


	9. Chapter 9- Accusations

Chapter 9- Kakashi

Nurses were in and out of the room all day but a few of Sakura's friends remained a constant; Sai, Naruto, Genma, myself, and surprisingly, Gaara and his siblings. No one said a word all day; they weren't needed for the type of emotional distress we were all under.

No words would be able to comfort any of us; not even when one nurse informed us that she was stable for now but it might not stay that way. It was too heartbreaking to imagine a Konaha without Sakura so I preferred to dwell on the memories of when we would just silently sit in the forest with our backs up against each other while reading books.

Our eyes never left her pale, limp form and we all held our breaths whenever someone inspected her health for fear of more bad news.

The day had passed so slowly, too slowly when I've been alone to sort out my thoughts, and soon enough, the sun was dipping below the sand dunes that surrounded the village. My orange book hadn't been cracked open once all day. I imagined that if Sakura was awake, she would have long ago scolded me for reading such vulgar literature in her presence if I had.

I glanced out of the window and looked at the darkening sky, imagining how Sakura would be standing at the wall opening, gazing at the stars so high in the sky. She would softly smile and say 'Kakashi, do you think that everything will go back to normal? I mean, everything has just been so crazy lately and I miss Team Seven actually being a Team and us just being our crazy selves.'

I would look at her then and for a short period of time, get lost in the depth of her eyes. She would just suppose that I was being a wise, old man until I would look back into the night and mutter something along the lines of, 'Everything will be okay.' After all, I was good at creating comforting lies as such.

I was always telling her that everything would be okay; I was always claiming that the world would work out its problems and we would return to our own states of normalcy. The truth is that since the attack from the Kyubbi so long ago, nothing was normal.

Naruto grew up without parents or someone to guide him lovingly until he got older. The Uchiha Clan was murdered by one of their own; painting the path of hatred for a very young Sasuke that once had a promising future. Sakura had the stable life she once knew, agonizingly ripped away from her, allowing her whole world to collapse in on itself.

How many times could I say that everything was going to be okay before I found a real answer to give? How many times was I going to watch my comrades go mad with all the wrongs in this world? When will I ever be able to pull Sakura out of the grave she dug for herself and convince her that the path she was running down was not the right one?

I had so many questions; so many unanswered questions that no one in this world could answer aside from myself. I had to solve these problems; I had to help the girl who has been a constant in my life for years.

"WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?!" A scream rang from the hallway, not too far from the room we were in. All of heads swiveled in the direction of the door but didn't even bothering moving. Every single one of us knew that angry, loud voice as the Fifth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village.

One of the female nurses stuttered back a whispered response in fear of the fuming woman who charged into the room moments later with a red face and steam practically flaming from her ears.

Her gaze instantly fell upon her unconscious student in the bed who didn't stir in the slightest bit. Tsunade's eyes softened slightly before stepping up the side of the bed and shoving Sai and Naruto out of her way.

The woman's glowing hands slid across Sakura's blood-stained abdomen and chest where the notorious Hidan and Kimimaro had injured her so greatly. Sakura's eyes squinted together tightly, even in her sleeping state, while Tsunade only pressed her hands down more in concentration.

"Oh my…" The Hokage murmured in horror, her eyes flickering to the battered face of her student. "You stupid, stupid girl."

Moments later, Tsunade slumped down in a chair that Naruto had pulled up for her and sighed deeply. She looked at everyone slowly before her eyes fell on me and I swear her eyes softened even more. "What happened? Tell me everything. Sai," she quickly sent a small glare at the poor kid who ducked his head in response, "only told me that she was close to death and was going to be here. Who did she fight?"

No one said anything for a while, probably too afraid at the reaction that she was sure to have. After all, the woman was best known for her angry fits while in a state of sobriety. I couldn't take the silence anymore though and sucked in a deep breath of air before answering. "She killed Kimimaro and decapitated Hidan."

Tsunade looked at me stupidly as the gears turned in her head before she turned red and slammed her fist down on the bed. "You think this is fucking funny, Hatake? My student nearly died and you're telling me she fought a bunch of fucking dead shinobi? I ought to throw you out the fucking window for that!"

I stood up quickly as everyone's heads snapped to me with wide eyes. "And you think I would joke about something like this? I've known that girl almost her entire life and I'm ashamed to know that you believe that I find this funny. I carried her fucking bloody body all the way back here and I don't find this situation in any way, shape, or form, funny." I yelled out, losing my calm façade quite quickly. I didn't have patience for these accusations today.

Naruto looked like a damn fish with those wide eyes and open mouth and Sai lowered his head further to the ground. Tsunade bit her lip as if wondering whether or not to punish me for my violent outburst but I guess she settled against in because she sank lower in her chair and rubbed her temples.

"Alright Hatake, get on with it."

I sat back down and let my lone eye glide in the pinkette's direction who had a sheen layer of sweat on all of her exposed skin. I wish it was that case. "Genma and I were only a few miles away when the explosions first began. I knew it was Sakura just from the fighting style; she has a tendency to tear up the Earth before anything else." I had to take a deep breath from the ache that was growing in my chest. "I never imagined that it would have been as bad as it was. I've never seen the girl fight so hard."

I stopped again, trying to push the painful images out of my mind just as I've been doing all of my life. "I got there a second too late." I said, closing my eyes tightly. "I got there just as Hidan put his scythe through her and Kimimaro stuck bones through her chest."

I glanced up when I heard a sob and saw Tamari's lip quivering as she stood next to her brothers. They both were staring at me, as was everyone else with unreadable expressions but I could see the emotions in their eyes. Naruto and Sai were guilty and everyone else was about ready to throw someone through a wall.

Tsunade turned to the boys of Team Seven and gave them a demanding look which was all that was needed for them to start giving us he answers we wanted. Sai sounded cold when he began. "We were just stopping for the night; Naruto was too tired to go on and it just seemed like such a good idea since we were making such good time to the Land of the Waves. We hadn't relaxed for even five minutes when we knew they got there.

"Sakura called them out and then they just jumped out into the open. It would have been stupidly reckless if they had been anyone else but of course they were powerful and didn't fear us as much as they should have." Sai said.

"Their intentions were clear almost immediately. They wanted Naruto and wanted Sakura and I to go down without a fight. They were in a hurry and that was painfully obvious so I tried to stall the best I could during the battle. I figured that if they were in a hurry and had already mentioned that they were going against protocol that someone else was coming for them." He sighed and tilted his head down to the floor. "Whoever it was didn't come fast enough."

Naruto rubbed his eyes; the reliving of the fight too painful for him to be unaffected by it. "Hidan wanted Sakura from the start and he was adamant on having only her. He made it very clear to his comrades that no one was to interfere on his battle but by the time Kakashi came and killed Kidoumaru for me and we found Sai unconscious, we realized that Kimimaro had gone against him and joined his fight with Sakura."

I've never seen Naruto speak so seriously before and for once he didn't yell while talking. The kid was completely worn out and had no energy mentally to keep up an angry front. None of us could, for that matter.

I decided to finish the story off to save the boys from breaking down even further. "When we reached Sakura again, Hidan had already started his ceremony and I didn't think there was any way to save her but her chakra lashed out again. It was almost like Naruto when the Kyubbi takes over; her eyes were black and her chakra was attacking on its own accord. She didn't know what she was doing or who the enemy was. She ended up killing Kimimaro and decapitated Hidan and, like Sai said, someone was coming for him. Kakazu collected Hidan's body and head and said a few things that were quite interesting." I said, rubbing my chin through my mask.

The woman's eyes narrowed. "And what would that be?"

Genma sighed deeply from his seat on the floor and put his hands over his head, already knowing what would happen the second I told her. I tensed unconsciously too. "He said that the Akatsuki aren't our enemy and they will need our help in the future."

Gaara snapped his head to mine the second the words left my mouth and it happened to be one of the few times that I've ever seen him with any emotion. His eyes were blazing with hate but I couldn't tell if it was for me or the situation. It was probably both. "Have you seen what they did to her? Of course they're the enemy!" his voice was definitely menacing but I've seen too much in my life as a shinobi to be even bothered by his threatening tone.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know what they need us for but the Akatsuki are a very straightforward group of Ninja. If they wanted to attack us, obviously, they would. They aren't the type to try and trick us into failure. They are prideful and egotistical; them asking us for help is hard for them but if they have come to their enemy for help then we must understand that there is something much bigger than we ever imagined going on."

"Kakashi, you know better than anyone else the damage that Akatsuki had done to our village; to our comrades. You don't understand how impossible it is for me to even think about working with them." Tsunade was practically trying to obliterate me with her glare and words.

I felt my chest heave with anger at the fact that they were brushing me opinions under the rug about this. I'm not the Hokage but I know damn well what I'm talking about. "No, _you_ don't understand. Sakura is the strongest kunoichi in almost all of Fire Country, both mentally and physically, and we are all here right now because she went against Hidan and nearly died. You don't get into Akatsuki for being a weakling; you get in for being a killing machine that wins most battles they are in. If they are coming to _us_ for help then there _is_ something that is powerful enough to defeat them and they know it!

"Yes, I lost many friends to them and yes, many have lost their lives to them outside of our village. But if we don't help them then Kami knows what is going to happen. The Hidden Leaf Village is the number one most targeted village in the world because of shinobi that are constantly being produced from us. Whatever is preparing to take down Akatsuki will go for us next and I'm not willing to put our entire village at risk because we couldn't put our differences and pasts aside." I had to force into a slouch so that hopefully some of the tension that had suddenly increased would be relieved. I was finding it harder and harder to keep a nonchalant attitude and I was all of sudden caring about these matters much more than I usually did.

No one said anything or a while; they just shared dark glances except for Gaara who continued to stare at me as if I had two heads. I could tell the situation was deeply wearing on everybody's nerves already but it was something that couldn't be ignored. The Hidden Leaf was in danger and that wasn't to be taken lightly.

"Okay, so what if we did join forces with the Akatsuki? We don't know who they are up against or what that group wants from any of us. I don't think they want me this time, that's more of an added bonus." Naruto spoke calmly and I briefly wondered when he grew up so much; when he started to think logically and like a real shinobi.

Tsunade glanced tiredly at the blonde-haired boy. "What makes you say that? They've been going after you for years now and didn't you say that that was what they wanted in the beginning of the fight; for you to come without any objections?"

"Yes, they did say that but if they really wanted to capture me then there would have been more Akatsuki or Hidan would have fought me instead of Sakura. I think it's pretty clear that it takes more than one of Oruchimaru's henchmen to kill me. Kakazu told us that Hidan had formed the ambush and fake mission on his own accord and that it had nothing to do with the rest of Akatsuki. We all found out a long time ago that Hidan isn't exactly one to do what he is told so I agree with Kakashi when he says that they aren't our enemy anymore; or at least not right now," Naruto finished with a prideful look on his face. He knew he was doing well so far and that his thoughts were spot on.

"And what if we're wrong Naruto? I'm not only looking after a group of shinobi who can protect themselves if need be! I have an entire village that I have to keep out of danger and it won't get any easier if we are double-crossed and have Akatsuki running around and blowing shit up! I can't risk it and I won't let any of you risk it either!" Tsunade yelled while a vein pulsed steadily on her forehead.

Naruto stood up from his chair with a pleading voice. "But Tsunade-sama…" he began but got cut off by the infuriated woman.

"That is enough! The Akatsuki are to remain enemies and I'm not going to forget a decade's worth of battles with them! Now, I came here for Sakura but she definitely isn't stable enough to be transported right now and won't be for a while." She turned to Gaara. "Would you mind if she stayed here in your home? I understand the trouble it may cause but I don't want her health to deteriorate any more. I can't stay away from the village for much longer anyways." She pleaded.

He waved his hand nonchalantly over his shoulder. "It's not an inconvenience Tsunade. The Sand has very close ties with the Leaf and we will _always_ be here for you to fall back on if ever needed. Any shinobi from your village is welcome here. Besides, Sakura and I close friends and I wouldn't want her in any more danger than you would want her in." He turned to the Naruto Sai, Genma, and I with a slight smile on his lips. "You are welcome to stay too since I know how close you are to her. I have more than enough bedrooms for you to be comfortable in."

My eyes slid to Tsunade, a silent request that she granted with a subtle nod of her head that sent Naruto into a slightly better mood. He slapped the Kazekage on the back of the shoulder who didn't budge but smiled lightly in response. "Man, it's gonna be good to get out of the Hidden Leaf for a little while! I've been stuck there for ages!"

Sai sighed quietly while Genma grinned and I knew instantly that he was thinking about spending a pretty penny at the liquor store in the market place; no doubt returning just so he could get drunk on Sakura's bedside. He cared about her too much to stay at the bar when he could just drink himself in oblivion here.

Naruto began rambling on about all the adventures he wanted to have with his friends here while he could but my attention was caught by Tsunade who was looking in my direction and curling her finger slowly. I nodded and followed her out of the room, walking down the long, empty corridor until we came to a balcony that overlooked the south side of Suna.

We didn't say anything for a while but I was never the type who initiated conversations so I left that to her. I know she's stressed, we all are, but I couldn't help feel that she wasn't doing her very best to understand what was happening. Sakura would definitely have her own opinions once she woke up.

"If you had waited ten minutes to get her medical attention she would have died." Tsunade spoke quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. The thought of our little kunoichi dying bothered her as much as it bothered me, maybe even more.

"I know." I said, my eyes focusing on the stars hanging brightly in the dark sky. A low glow of light shined just over the horizon, igniting the sand dunes that were untouched in the distance.

The woman that I had known for so long turned to me with a wary expression. "You know how grateful I am for everything that you do. I owe you for saving her and I will never forget what you have especially done for her recently. She is not in her normal state of mind."

_Well that's an understatement. _"I've known Sakura for just about ten years now and I remember thinking that she would never make it in the world of shinobi. She's changed, thanks to you, and I haven't seen that weak girl for a long time. Everything that happened to her parents hasn't made her weak again despite how much she's cried but it made her hard and lifeless. It kills me to see her that way. I've been a father figure to Naruto and her for so long that it really does hurt to see that happy girl gone." I spoke quietly.

"Keep in mind that the relationship between you and Sakura isn't father and daughter, Kakashi. It's much more than that."

I froze at her words and I was fully aware of the tightening of the muscles in my shoulders and back. Had she suddenly gained the ability to read minds or something? Had she caught the subtle glances that I had been sending my student unconsciously though out the last few years? Had she picked up on the emotions that only appeared when I was with the young girl?

"What the hell do you mean about that?" I choked out, unable to hold back the panic that danced off of my tongue.

I was met with a chuckle and amused eyes. "Oh Kakashi, I'm not blind and I know it's not just about her being your student. You've never cared as much about Naruto as you do her and while everyone else isn't on your trail yet, I am. I know you better than most." She took a deep breath. "You should count yourself lucky that I'm not punching you through a wall right now. The only reason why I'm not is because I know the feeling with never be mutual. I don't mean to sound harsh but Sakura is a romantic at heart and has always wanted a man in her life that will not only love her unconditionally but also be her rock. She wants a reason to leave the hospital at night and someone to actually go home to.

"Kakashi, I know that underneath that mask of yours are a million emotions that you don't want anyone to see. Sakura doesn't deserve someone who will always keep her on her toes; she needs a stable ground to stand on. You're as capable as being someone's rock as you are at expressing how you really feel. You have been trained and conditioned into the perfect shinobi; someone who follows orders at all times and who doesn't have family ties that will bring your own selfishness into play. I never wanted you to be like this but every horrible thing that has happened in your life has led you to where you are today. I wish that you could have a wife and kids or something to live for other than the lives of Konaha but that isn't what happened here. I'm truly sorry for how everything is coming out right now but I just don't want to see Sakura hurt anymore. She's not like you; she had hopes and aspirations that were literally torn out of her grasp. You lost everything when you were very young but she's old enough to have had true bonds with her parents and their deaths have completely shattered her. She needs someone who can put the pieces back together."

My mind reeled with anger and all I wanted to do was scream in her face that I _could _be Sakura's rock and that I _could_ have a stable life with her but I knew what she said was true. Sakura deserved so much more than what I could offer. I've been broken for years and honestly am in no shape to fix myself, let alone her too.

The facts weighed down so heavily on me that I wish for once that everything bad in my life had never happened. I've blamed myself for my comrades deaths for years and I still do but I wish that I could relieve myself from all of this pain so that I _could_ live happily with a wife; so that I _could_ fall in love.

"I understand," were the words that slipped out of my mouth instead of everything else that was on my mind. I never stood up for what I believed in during times like this because I knew just how pointless it can be to fight. If the Hokage told me not to pursue something then I wouldn't pursue it. I've _never_ spoken against the Hokage before and I never will.

"I'm glad that you do but me telling you all of this doesn't mean that you're being relieved of your duties to watch over her. While you are the last person I want to be with her, you are certainly the first I want to protect her even if it's from herself. I've bought her an apartment."

I glanced up in curiosity at that. "Why?"

"Because the poor girl can't keep going home to the place her parents were murdered in. No wonder she keeps tearing herself up about it. She's reminded every time she walks through her front door. It's a two bedroom, one bath loft near the southern gates of Konaha. It's a long ways from the hospital which I don't like so much but it is well out of the way of her home now so she doesn't have to pass it every day." Her head dipped to the ground. "I made sure it had two bedrooms in case you need to stay there. Don't forget that your mission is still to protect her. I'm sorry that I have to give you this mission of people but at least I can trust you with her life. I know that you would protect her against anything."

Of course she would entrust me with her student when she knows that I would die for her. "What happens when I'm not there with her? I can't watch over her unless I'm living there."

"I'm sure you'll find a way Hatake. I leave in the morning so I'm going to go rest while I can. Let me tell you now thought," She brought her face inches from mine and glared at me as hard as she could. "If something happens to her, I promise that I will kill you on the spot and I'm NOT bluffing."

She turned on her heel and walked away without another word, leaving me staring at the spot that she occupied moments before.

While I was hurt from her words earlier (more than I should have been), I pushed them away for now which was something I was exceptionally good at doing. That's all I ever did; push everything away so that I could never get hurt; on the inside, anyway.

I started to think of ways that I could watch Sakura back home without actually watching her. I needed to know that she was safe at every point of the day and not only because of Tsunade's threat. _I _needed to always know that she was safe. I cared about her too much to allow her to be hurt if I could help it.

As soon as the idea came to me, I quickly bit the skin on my right thumb until the flesh broke open and blood dribbled down my hand. I then made a series of hand signs and quickly pressed my hand on the rough surface of the balcony. A sudden poof next to me head signaled that the summoning was over so I crouched down to make the height difference between the pug and I, less prominent.

Pakkun sat on the haunches of his back legs and gave me a bored look after realizing that he wasn't summoned for battle. "What do you need, boss?" he asked in a rough voice. I knew he was just as lonely as I was but was just putting up front. I often summoned him just for someone to spend time with. We both were just too prideful to admit that out loud.

"I need you to go back to your world and find a young pup that doesn't have a contract with anyone. I'd prefer a female and one that is a decent fighter so far and very protective. Remember, I need a pup; nothing over three months." I told him, listing off all the traits I would want.

Pakkun looked wary. "I know I'm not the youngest dog in the world but damn, I didn't know I was doing that bad," he muttered, looking extremely put out.

I waved my hands but couldn't bring myself to even pretend to smile. "No Pakkun, the ninken isn't for me; it's for Sakura. I need something that can protect her when I can't be there."

His small eyes flashed with a wave of understanding and he nodded. "Oh, yes I've heard about everything that has happened to her as of late. I feel bad though. I've always like that girl; she's nice to us."

_You and me both._ "How did you find out about everything?" I asked.

"I met up with a few of Tsunade's slugs about a month ago just before she sent Team Seven on the mission. They caught me up on all of the happenings. How did the mission go anyway? I didn't know it involved going to Suna."

"It didn't. It was a false mission set up by Akatsuki and they got ambushed on the way there. Naruto and Sai made it out alright but Sakura wasn't so fortunate. She fought Hidan, I'm sure you remember me telling you about him, and she barely made it out alive. She still hasn't woken up."

I was surprised by how enraged Pakkun suddenly became since I've _never_ seen him act like this. He paced back and forth, growling and muttering cuss words under his breath. "I swear if I ever see that waste of space ever again I'll rip him limp from limb; I'll rip his damn throat out and personally feed it to the damn wolves. That low life piece of…"

"Since when did you start to care so much about her safety?" I asked suddenly with obvious curiosity.

The pug looked at me for a while as if he could actually read my thoughts before giving me a response that stunned me into silence. "When you started caring as more than just her sensei."

I just looked at him. That was the second accusation within ten minutes about my affections for Sakura and it made me wonder how many others had looked past the walls that I tightly protected myself with. I didn't like when people figured something out about me. It always left me feeling exposed.

Pakkun continued when he realized that I wasn't going to say anything. "The rest of the pack feels the same, I hope you know. Anyway, I'll report back to you when I find a ninken that seems to fit our description. It shouldn't take too long. I'll see you soon boss." And with that, he disappeared.


	10. Chapter 10- Memories and Acceptance

Chapter 10- Kakashi

When I look in the mirror, I don't see the famous Copy Cat Ninja with the sharingan eye and I don't see a man with much pride. I see a failure. Time after time again I've failed my dad, my comrades, and those who care about me. I push them away because I feel like if they get too close then I'll fail them again or get them killed.

I'm a human though and I still have people that I care about; people that I can't imagine a world without. Sakura is one of them but as I sat next to her in a chair that was pulled up to the bed while she unconsciously healed herself, I feel that I failed her most of all.

I always thoughts my biggest failure was Sasuke when he ran off to get all buddy, buddy with Orochimaru and tried to kill his teammates a handful of times but that changed the day we returned from the very last retrieval mission of the young Uchiha.

We had all agreed that we were done chasing him and that it was futile to try and bring him home when he still had an agenda that had to be completed. I always thought that when the day came that we had to give up on Sasuke that Naruto would be the most depressed since they understood each other on a different level than anyone else couldn't understand.

I didn't expect for Naruto to rush past the gates of the village and run to Ichiraku's for ramen with the biggest, accomplished smile shining in his eyes. I didn't expect for me to feel so unaffected by the huge mess that we had just left behind. I didn't expect for Sakura to walk away from me without a word.

She always says something, awkwardly most of the time since I rarely talk back, but she says some parting words nonetheless. Not this time though. She shuffled her feet slowly across the village as if she was drugged and I was immediately compelled to follow her. I mean, I blame it on the fact that she's my student and I was worried for her health.

I stuck to the rooftops as she sluggishly crossed the village looking but not really seeing; listening but not really hearing. She was like a ghost, drifting around the world while it flew past her.

Over the course of the day, I realized that she had made it to Team Seven's old training grounds. It had been pieced back together from Sakura's iron fist that had utterly destroyed it when the team was reunited years ago.

She slowly walked and sat down in front of the three posts that Naruto once hung upside down from. She pushed her back against the center one and just stayed there. She didn't move, her eyes didn't wander, and even from the short distance that I was at, I could barely see her chest rising and falling.

Quickly deciding that I couldn't just leave her like this, I jumped down from the tree branch that I was perched on, stuffed my hands in my pockets and slouched my way over to her. If she knew I was there previously she didn't make a single move to show it.

I stopped a few feet in front of her and gazed at her expressionless face. "Sakura," I spoke, waiting for her to realize that I was there.

She didn't even flinch but continued to stare at an invisible spot on the ground by her right hand. "Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their friends are worse than trash; they're scum." Sakura said slowly as if convincing herself of something.

I was forced into silence for a while, not knowing what to say to the words that I had said so many times. I did say that, a lot, but now she was putting that with the very hard and unique situation that we were in.

I had to open my mouth and close it at least twice before finding the right words. "Sakura, there is a difference between abandoning friends and letting go those who do not wish to return. If we had pursued Sasuke, we all would have died. I'm not risking the lives of anymore of my team for someone who doesn't want to come back."

She looked at me then, sadness shining in her gem-like eyes. "Once a teammate, always a teammate."

I smiled and offered my hand to her. "Not when they try to kill you. Come on, I'm sure Naruto is waiting for you at Ichiraku's." After a few seconds, her small, soft hand slipped into my large, rough one and I pulled her up, catching her when she stumbled.

We joined with Naruto and Sai at the restaurant, eating enough ramen to fill us up for days and while she didn't act drugged, Sakura was still quiet and she was for days but eventually days turned into weeks and weeks into months. That bright smile began to appear again and after all of that, we were inseparable.

Every morning that we weren't on a mission, Sakura would appear on my doorstep with breakfast and cleaning supplies and we would eat while she shared a few corny jokes that made me smile which I just hid behind my mask. She would water Mr. Ukki and then we'd go and train.

At some point she would demand that I summon my dogs and we would all go to the river in the woods and splash around (or they would and I would just pretend not to watch over the top of Icha Icha). I would make a witty comment about her stealing my ninken away from me and she would respond with something about me being too old to take care of them anyway. Again, I would hide the smile that cracked my face in two.

After fighting over who was going to pay for dinner, I would walk her home and we wouldn't talk. Words weren't needed with Sakura anyways. We both were content with just sitting in each other's presence. I didn't have a relationship like that with anyone else in the world. Never once did she ever try and pry thoughts or words out of me. I could relax around her.

Instead of looking at that happy, cheerful girl, I was now looking at the complete opposite of what she used to be. This Sakura had cuts and bandages all over her. Dark bruises under her closed eyes made the rest of her skin seem even paler than it already was. She looked a mess.

Without thinking about it, I raised my hand to her face and pushed some of the hair that was stuck to her from sweat, away. Despite the lack of color, Sakura's skin burned with fever while her eyes twitched every so often. No doubt she felt pain even now while sleeping.

I was glad that everyone had left to go to their own rooms for the night, leaving me alone with my ex-student. Too many memories were running through my mind to actually pay attention to all of Naruto's attempts to lighten the mood. Surprisingly, Genma decided to wait until tomorrow to go to town and Sai agreed to go with him. Everyone pretty much filed out after that.

All of Tsunade's words bounced around in my head and were practically scorched into my brain. I couldn't stop reliving the conversation; I couldn't stop reliving the fight that Sakura was in. I think this is the closest I've ever come to being in shock over anything.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, brushing my thumb against her forehead. Her eyes squinted together again and my mood plummeted. Of course she's still in pain. Of course me sitting here and brushing the hair off of her face isn't going to do anything. Of course I'm being completely ridiculous and the only reason that I feel even slightly attracted to her beautiful face is because she almost died and I feel the guilt for not saving her sooner.

_Yeah,_ I told myself. _It's the guilt that is making me stay here. It's just the guilt… But what if it isn't? What if the pull in my chest is so much more and what if I actually have feelings for her…_

I ripped my hand away from her hot skin and just stared at her in alarm. No, I couldn't possibly like her as more than a friend. It can't happen; no, she's my student! Well, ex-student; she _is _a Jonin just like me but there is such an age difference.

Something in the back of my mind nagged at me for even thinking that. I'm a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf and age shouldn't matter. If I risk my life every day for the sake of others then I should be able to be with the one I love.

I froze, every muscle tensing in my body. Love, love, _love_. Since when did love have anything to do with this? I don't love anyone; I'm fond of people but I don't _love_. It's too painful and every time that I do love something, it's always taken away from me. Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei, my father; I loved them all in different ways but all of them were taken away from me. If I fall in love with Sakura, she'll be taken away from me too.

I tried to relax the best I could and slumped back in the cushioned chair. Just like I did the night I stayed in her room, I removed my gloves and put them on the arm rest and sighed deep and long with the intention of relieving the stress that weighed me down but it did nothing.

Sleep would not come for hours; instead, Tsunade's words wound themselves so tightly around me that I felt as if I couldn't move from the despair that they caused. _Sakura doesn't deserve someone who will always keep her on her toes; she needs a stable ground to stand on. You're as capable as being someone's rock as you are at expressing how you really feel._

I wanted to barge in the Hokage's room right now and tell her off. I wanted to let my strong emotions go for once and demand that she take back her words. I wanted to prove to her that I can be someone's rock if I needed to be. I could be compassionate, just half the time I chose not to be.

For the thousandth time that night, I released the deep breath that I had been holding and closed my eyes for a few seconds. Nothing was ever as simple as I wanted it to be but that's how life is. It's unpredictable and will always throw you curveballs.

I glanced out of the window one last time to see the sun's rays shining down on the golden sand from the East. _Sakura would have wanted to see this. She loves the sunrise. _That thought brought me to a whole new memory that I had suppressed without even realizing it.

I was still in the hospital and Naruto, Sakura, Sai, and Yamato had just returned from the mission that they had to fight Orochimaru on. I had already seen everyone but the one person I was truly excited to see had only been around for a few minutes. I just figured she was busy doing something with her parents since she just got back after so long.

The moon was full that night, shining brightly across a peaceful Konaha and I had finally been able to lull myself of into sleep. I was tired but not exhausted which was probably why I was so surprised to wake up in the middle of the night and see Sakura sitting in a chair perched right next to the wide window; her back to him.

I thought that I was possibly dreaming but the dull throb in the back of my head proved against it. I sat up and ran my hands through my hair in a quick motion as I squinted at the back of her head. "Sakura, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be home sleeping?"

A shudder ran through her but I didn't know if it was because I surprised her of if she was cold. Her eyes remained trained on the Hokage Mountain in the distance where the sun would rise in mere minutes.

"Have you ever watched the sun rise, Kakashi-sensei?" She asked suddenly, her hands ringing together slowly.

I had thought her question was odd and very out-of-the-blue but I answered her anyway. "Of course I have."

"But have you truly ever _watched_ it? Have you ever sat down and watched every color flicker across the sky and blend together?" she asked, her voice sounding detached.

My eyebrows furrowed together at the tone she was using. This didn't seem like her but I guess with everything that had happened recently, she had a right to be a little sketchy. "No."

The sun rose higher, rays beginning to poke above the stone faces of the Hokages before us. "Sun rises are my favorite part of the day. They give me hope because no matter what happens to us, they still rise and still take my breath away with their beauty."

I didn't have any words for her so instead, I leaned back against my pillows and watched as the sky exploded with a series of pinks and oranges that blended and danced together to create a true image of perfection. I jumped slightly when she spoke again, not really expecting it.

"There will never be another sunrise like that again, Kakashi-sensei. It was original and beautiful and unique in its own way. While there will always be another sunrise, there will never be one quite like that." Sakura stood up and walked out, not even giving me time to answer.

I made a point to watch every sunrise I could after that and she was right of course. There never was a sunrise quite like that one but I found that the one I shared with Sakura was the best of them all.

I was awake the second that I heard her breathing pattern change. Over the course of the night, her breaths were calm and repetitious but now her chest was rising and falling frantically while her hands tightly grasped the white sheets beneath her.

I froze for only a second before my eyes met her beautiful jade ones and I was on my feet. I quickly pressed my right hand on her forehead to still feel it burning with fever and damp with sweat. "Ka-ka-shi," she quietly spoke, her voice raspy. "I need water."

My hands were instantly reaching for the small paper cup on the nightstand and pushing it against her chapped lips. Her hands lifted up to mine that was still pouring the water into the mouth and held them gently.

My heart was soaring and my eyes searched her body; for what, I don't know. I was glad that she was awake, I was glad that she was alive. Most importantly, I was glad that she never took her hands off of mine.

….

I don't know when I fell asleep or for how long I slept but when the darkness began to recede to the back of my mind and my senses came alive, I could hear birds chirping along with the pitter patter of feet all of the building; probably from my own comrades who liked to rise early.

It was rare for me to wake up this late but maybe it's just because we aren't in Konaha. If we were home I would be at the memorial already, talking to Obito and Rin and Minato-sensei; not sitting uncomfortably on a chair with my head tipped to the right side with dogs panting around me.

My eyes snapped open in an instant and a small part of me wondered if I was losing my touch if I couldn't even realize that dogs were crowding the room. I saw all of my ninken; _all of them_, lying down at Sakura's feet on the bed while a pup that I've never seen before lay under her left arm as Sakura pet her slowly.

I blame it on the fact that I had just woken up that all I could do for several minutes was look between my dogs, the new dog, and my conscious student that was looking at me slightly amused.

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, trying to sort everything that was odd out before any confusing words would have to be spoken. It didn't work.

Not knowing how to even begin getting answers, I asked the first thing that came to mind. "How did I sleep through all of _you_ getting here?" It was well known that I didn't have patience for all of my ninken half the time since all of them aside from Pakkun had a personality as extravagant as Naruto after coffee.

Pakkun sighed from his perch on Sakura's knees and lay his head back down. "Well, I wanted to come alone with Kimi to meet Sakura but the pack insisted on coming along. We expected you to be up when we got here but you were out cold and Sakura was just waking up and she let us stay." He said, sounding incredibly bored but I could see right through the tiny pug. He was happy that the girl was paying them so much attention.

I looked at the baby Shikoku Inu that I assumed to be Kimi and was actually pleased to see her practically growling at me with displeasure. I raised my eyebrow at the female dog that seemed to be guarding a dazed Sakura. "Am I doing something wrong?" I asked her.

The new ninken growled first before snuggling closer into the girl's side and answering. "If you hurt her, I'll attack you."

I guess she'd been threatening my ninken all morning long because instead of jumping to my defense, half of them rolled their eyes while the rest straight up ignored us. The puppy was already protective of Sakura and they hadn't even signed a contract yet. She was perfect.

"Kimi," Sakura whispered, "Kakashi is a good guy. You don't have to worry about him. He treats his ninken great."

The dog brown and black dog looked thoroughly offended when she turned her head around to look at the pinkette. "I am _not _his!"

"She's yours," I cut in before Kimi got too worked up.

Sakura just stared at me after that and I stared back, unable to pull my eyes away from hers. They were swimming with emotions and despite her trying to hide it from me, I didn't miss the wince of pain that she gave every few seconds when she let out the air from her lungs.

Kimi noticed too and growled lowly. That seemed to snap Sakura out of whatever daze she was in and she looked down at her hand that was twisted in Kimi's fur. "What do you mean 'she's mine'?"

I smiled a little even though she couldn't see it. "I figured that you would want someone to keep you company. Pakkun found her for me and I thought that she would be better with you. As you can see, she doesn't really like anyone else very much but she does seem to have taken a liking to you."

Sakura looked down at the puppy again and scratched behind her ears. "Thank you," she said quietly, a ghost of a smile gracing her lips.

Pakkun seemed to overcome a battle that had been raging in his own head and he stood up on Sakura's leg and walked to her unoccupied side, plopping down with his head resting on his paws. His brown eyes tilted up in her direction and I swear he sniffled on purpose.

Sakura understood immediately what he wanted and put her free hand on his head to rub behind his ears too. I was taken aback by how he was acting. Pakkun _never_ got sentimental or cuddly around me but around Sakura, he was like a little wuss.

I truly tried to ignore my pack that had gone utterly soft on me overnight and focused on the main reason that we were even here in the first place. "When did you wake up?"

"Only a little while after you went to sleep." Her cheeks cutely flushed with a tint of red. "I kind of pushed a little chakra into your temples to let you sleep better."

My head rolled back slightly as understanding consumed me. "So that's why these menaces didn't wake me up. They always do."

Kimi growled but Sakura smoothed out some fur on her back to comfort her. "They aren't that bad. A little loud at first by my little girl over here put them in their place." Kimi smiled and wagged her tail slightly at the appraisement. Pakkun lowered his head further.

One question that had been bouncing in my head for a while seemed inevitable now so I decided to just ask and get it out of the way. "How are you feeling?"

Sakura closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm fine, Kakashi."

I knew she would do this but it didn't stop the hope from rising in my chest that she would just admit to being in pain. Of course she didn't make it easy. "Sakura."

"We're in Suna, I take it. I heard Naruto challenging Gaara to a spar just a little while ago."

One thing about Sakura; she was absolutely, positively, _amazing_ at attempting to divert conversations. So far, she once convinced Naruto to take her to Ichiraku's on her sixteenth birthday instead of throwing her a party that Ino was supposed to be the decorator for. That's just about it.

"I know you're still in pain. Has a nurse come to give you more medicine?"

"I'm really thankful for Kimi; she's amazing and really…" I couldn't even bear to hear her finish her sentence.

"Sakura!" Someone yelled from the doorway, grabbing her attention while I just about glared a hole through her head.

"Shishou, what are you doing out of Konaha?" Sakura asked her teacher, sounding completely bewildered. I guess it was surprising since it was rare to see Tsunade even out of her office.

The blonde Hokage stepped into the room, leaving the black suitcase that she had been holding by the door. "I just came to sew your ass back together but I have to leave soon so I thought to come and see if you were awake." She raised an eyebrow at all of the dogs crowding around her. "I see that you have some company."

"Yes, I do."

Tsunade propped her hands on her hips. "Well since you seem to be thinking and talking just fine, why don't you go ahead and explain to me what _the hell you were thinking when you_ FOUGHT A FUCKING _AKATSUKI MEMBER?!"_

Every dog whimpered and lowered their heads at the screaming woman who turned bright red in the face. Surprisingly, Sakura didn't flinch and I momentarily wondered how many drunken rages she had been witness to.

"I wasn't going to let him turn around and kill Naruto or Sai." Then after a slight hesitation, Sakura turned her big emerald eyes to me. "They are safe, right?" A nervous edge made her voice waver. Tsunade's eyed her suspiciously and studied her face like she was a lab rat.

"They're fine. You know those two; they are too hard-headed to die. Just like you."

The young kunoichi's chest deflated with a relieved sigh but it hitched at the last second and Tsunade's eyes instantly narrowed into angry slits again. The Hokage lurched forward and with glowing hands, pressed hard into Sakura's abdomen.

I don't think I'll ever get the sound of her scream out of my head. It pierced my ears and my heart, constricting my chest with fear and worry; something I always tried to hide from. Why was she bringing out so many emotions me?

Kimi growled and snapped ferociously but the grip that Sakura had on her fur kept her planted on the mattress, unable to move. I hadn't a single clue what was going on and apparently, neither did the two nurses that ran into the room. I saw a flash of a clear bottle and a syringe and my blood ran cold.

"Give her the whole bottle!" Tsunade yelled out, forcing her hands down harder on the tortured girl. "She's going to need it."

One nurse's eyes widened dramatically but complied without complaint. I was losing my focus, allowing everything to blur into one.

A syringe diving deep into the bulging veins of Sakura's arm; blood staining the white sheets underneath her; someone screaming out to flush 'it' out of her system; Naruto's panicked face appearing in the doorway; Sakura looking at me with wide, pleading eyes.

The worst part of it was when the screaming stopped and the begging started. "Please, please stop. You're hurting me Shishou!" Tears glistened on her pale cheeks. "Kakashi, Naruto, please help me, please!"

A series of frantic beeping filled the room and Tsunade's glowing hands grew even brighter. "Her heart rate is too high; give her more morphine!"

Another tear slides down her face and her wide, emerald eyes meet my single, exposed one. Her left hand left Kimi's fur and twitched in my direction. My chest heaved with a foreign feeling.

"She's bleeding out! Prepare for a blood transfer now!" Tsunade's voice trembled and I couldn't tell if it was because of her excessive fear of blood or the fear of her student dying right under her hands.

Naruto slid down the wall opposite of the bed and stared at his comrade with a tear-soaked face. "Sakura…"

The beeping sped up.

I felt my knees buckle and I collapsed into the chair behind me, my eyes unable to leave the emerald ones that were glued to me. The scent of iron surrounded me; suffocated me.

There was a strangled gasp.

"I need oxygen in here NOW!"

The girl was falling apart right in front of me and there was nothing I could do about it. If there was any chance of her surviving this, it was in Tsunade's hands. Blood dripped on the carpeted floors as I momentarily forgot that we weren't even in a hospital room; we were in one of the rooms of the Kazekage's residence.

Speaking of the Kazekage, Gaara appeared next in the doorway with an outraged expression that quickly deflated into fear. He was scared out Sakura dying and I realized moments later that I was too. I was _scared_. I was _terrified_.

Another plop of the blood in the growing puddle on the ground; Sakura's mouth and nose were soon covered in a breathing mask, a smudge of red on the tube that led to the oxygen tank next to the bed.

"Ka-ka-shi…"

I could barely hear her over the frantic actions of the nurses. The beeping sped on.

"I NEED MORE BLOOD!" Tsunade screamed.

My eyes never left Sakura's and hers never left mine. Sweat glistened on her forehead and her hand twitched towards me. I could only stare; I didn't know what to think or do. I was useless.

The emerald orbs seemed to soften with understanding but after a second glance I realized that they had softened with acceptance.

My heart exploded into a racing pace in my chest.

Time slowed as her eyes slowly shut, hiding the beautiful blue-green color from my sight.

The beeping stopped completely and so did the noise from the rest of the room, leaving the low buzz from the heart monitor to blare loudly in my ears.

Sakura's heart stopped beating.


	11. Chapter 11- Mixed Feelings

Sorry this is so short but I will be posting the chapter twelve either tonight or tomorrow so you won't have to wait long. Please give me feedback so I know how I'm doing... Enjoy!

...

Chapter 11- Sakura

I was being suffocated. My chest had thousand pound weights on it and my internal organs were being seared with white hot pain that slowly leaked to the rest of my body until I was completely taken over by the flames.

No matter how bad I wanted to scream out, my mouth wouldn't open. I wanted to thrash around and I wanted to focus my chakra to at least ease the torture but the second that I felt it churn in my chest, the fire would increase dramatically and would leave me begging for death.

I don't know how long I was like that; unable to think coherent thoughts and unable to move a muscle. It felt like decades but honestly it could have been minutes and I would have never known the difference. I just know that I couldn't do anything to stop the pain and I was slowly losing my grip on reality.

Unlike the so many times I've fainted on missions from physical injuries, my mind didn't succumb to darkness when the pain became too much. I had to endure every agonizing second of it with no help from medicines or comfort from friends.

At some point through the fiery hell that was singeing my skin, I felt a hand. At first I could only feel the touch of something against me but as time passed, more became noticeable as the fire dulled slightly. The hand was strong and warm and rough and no doubt the hand of a well-trained ninja.

After another unthinkable amount of time, I could feel other things around me; the soft sheets underneath my body, something warm and fuzzy pressed tightly to my right side, and small weight on my knees.

Hope of an end to my torture came when the fire receded to just my chest and I could once again hear. I still couldn't move and I still couldn't cry out like I wanted to but at least I could hear the soft breathing of someone to my left, most likely whoever was holding my hand.

There was a steady beeping sound but it took me a stupid amount of time to figure out that it was a heart-rate monitor. Somewhere near my feet came several sources of snoring and heavy panting while footsteps were obviously pacing a hole through the floor a little farther away.

After a while of listening to everyone's breathing, the sound of a bottle shattering on the floor piqued my interest and a string of vulgar curses spoken with a very familiar voice drifted into my ears. I sighed and opened my eyes as the routine action brought out the familiar reaction on me.

The hand that held mine stiffened as my eyes flickered open and a strangled gasp left my too-dry lips. The pain still burned in my abdomen but I struggled to repress it the best I could as my eyes landed on the familiar blonde standing in the doorway.

"Naruto," I croaked, "You might want to get Tsunade some more sake before she throws her desk through a wall again."

I don't think I've ever seen my Naruto look so damn serious and I most certainly have never seen him burst into tears and sobs as he did right then. He ran to me, throwing an arm over my sore chest and sobbing into my neck. Strings of apologies and other unrecognizable words were meshed in with them and I couldn't get in my own words of comfort to calm the emotion boy.

Under his chest, I could see the displeasure in my little Kimi's eyes but she didn't growl at him which kind of surprised me.

The hand that had been holding me tightened slightly and I turned to see one of the most heart-breaking sights I've ever seen. Kakashi's eyes intensely bore into mine and it took me a few seconds to realize that it had been him that brought me back to consciousness.

My body tingled slightly and his warm touch and I felt my hand squeeze back the smallest bit. I was almost positive that he wasn't experiencing the same body tingling sensation that I was but I didn't miss the emotions rush passed his eyes; emotions that I've rarely seen in him.

"Kakashi…" I mumbled, barely audible over the muffled cries from Naruto who was quite frankly scaring me to death. How bad was my condition for him to be acting like this?

My ex-sensei opened his mouth to say something but Tsunade decided to show herself at that moment. "Naruto, crying is not going to bring her back…" She trailed off when she saw my tired eyes gleaming with unshed tears of my own.

Kakashi didn't let go.

"Sakura," she mumbled, stepping forward and right as I thought she was going to go into an angry rage, she ripped Naruto off of me and placed herself right where he was before. I held myself together long enough to feel her tears drop onto my shoulder before I broke down as well.

Just like with Naruto, I've never seen my Shishou cry like this and it was so saddening to know that she was that worried about me. "You don't understand." I heard her whisper, whipping back so fast that her blonde hair blurred.

"You don't understand how close we came to losing you." She whispered again. "The heart monitor stopped and you just stopped breathing and we thought- we thought that you gave up. Sakura, your heart stopped beating three times before you were stabilized."

I died? I could feel a part of my mind go numb with that information and I guess I started shaking because Kakashi tightened his grip on me in comfort.

"I- I didn't…" I was stuttering so bad I couldn't even finish my sentence.

Kakashi spoke up for the first time since I woke up and I jumped when hearing how hoarse his usually smooth voice sounded. "It's been a week since you've even tensed a muscle. We thought that eventually your heart would stop again and there would be nothing that we could do about it." He said, a haunted look slowly darkening his one exposed eye.

I've been out of it for a week? No wonder the pain seemed to never stop.

My mind seemed so sluggish and I found it hard to even coherently think of a good sentence to speak. Tsunade seemed to realize this and furiously wiped her tears before giving me a sad smile.

"I realized that something was wrong when you asked if Sai and Naruto were okay. You had only been unconscious for about two days and I knew that that was way too soon for you not to be feeling the results of the fight. You were talking, laughing even, but when you breathed out that one time, your pupils dilated drastically and your heart palpitated.

"I went to scan your abdomen because that was where most of the damage was but all of your internal organs were failing. Sakura, whatever kind of poison was in your system literally was made to kill you without you even knowing it. I've never seen it before.

"When I went into the lab once you stabilized, I tested it on different types of muscle and fat tissues but nothing happened. When I tested it on a rat, the results were instantaneous. All three rats that were injected had an adrenaline rush for a good ten minutes before dropping like flies. They woke up after about sixteen hours but they could barely move; they were completely numb all over.

"When I went to scan their bodies with my chakra, they literally burst from the inside out. The poison is meant to almost completely paralyze the body and then slowly attack everything it comes into contact with. It resists chakra; so when I went to inspect and heal you, it sped everything along and ripped open all of your injuries again as well as completely shutting down all of your internal organs. I don't know how we did it but thank Kami you're still here. I don't know what I would have done if…" She cut off, closing her eyes and breathing deeply.

_The pills._ All of that happened because I took those stupid pills. I would have been okay with one but no, I had to take three. I'm so useless; torturing my friends like this because of my own selfish thoughts. They've been here worrying about my safety all because I decided to be a dumbass.

I weakly smiled and tried to reassure them but if anything, their faces fell even more. "I'm sorry, really. I just couldn't watch any of you get hurt." After looking around and noticing only them in the room, I hesitated. "Where are Sai and Genma?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck slowly, trying to calm himself down. "Sai is with Gaara, helping with paperwork and Genma is drinking himself into a coma in his room."

My eyebrows furrowed. "Is he okay? Did something happen?"

Kakashi visibly flinched beside me. "He's not one to handle alcohol and… stressful situations very well."

"He heard everything that happened the first time and couldn't stomach coming in here. I don't blame him or Sai though; you've bled out almost every day so it's really just been us three and the dogs in here." Naruto said, petting Pakkun on the head which I realized was the small weight on my knees.

I nodded slowly, feeling my eyelids begin to get heavier with each passing second. "Shishou, I'm really tired." I mumbled, letting my muscles relax slightly.

"I'm sure you are. You can sleep Sakura, you're safe now. We'll be waiting for you to wake back up." She didn't lie.

I woke up the next morning to see everyone, even Sai and Genma, standing around talking or, in Naruto's case, fighting with Sai over something stupid. Their eyes shined when they realized I was awake and they didn't leave the room once that day.

Every time I woke up after that it was always Kakashi. It was always Kakashi that welcomed me back into the world of the conscious and it was always him who would sit with me in silence to watch the sun rise high in the sky.

I looked his expressionless face as he gazed out of the window early one morning and I couldn't stop the small voice in the back of my head repeating, _it always was him…_

….1 week later

I shielded my chakra the best I could and slipped down the long, dark hallways that was barely lit with the occasional torch. My limbs felt heavy and weak from lying in a bed for over two weeks and my abdomen still hurt bad enough to hinder me from too much physical activity but I was determined to not let it stop me.

After getting lost numerous times, I finally came to a dead-end hallway with a wooden door at the end and two bored guards talking casually. A part of me was overly pleased at the fact that my plan was falling into place so nicely.

The guards that had Jonin vests on and sand symbols on their vests tensed slightly at seeing me but relaxed when they realized who I was. The one on the right smiled brightly as I slowly approached with a limp.

"We've been waiting for you, Sakura-san. Finally managed to slip away from Hatake, huh?" the brown-headed shinobi joked.

I forced a smile and nodded my head. "You know how he can be. Did the Kazekage retire for the night?"

The guard on the left responded this time. "No, we informed him that someone wanted to speak with him and he has been waiting for your arrival."

"Thank you; I appreciate the help. I would appreciate it even more if you kept this between us."

They both nodded. "Anything for the Kazekage's friend. If you ever need help or a sparring partner, feel free to hunt me down." The guard on the right smiled and knocked twice on the heavy door.

After a quiet voice informed us that I could enter, I shoved the heavy door before securely closing it behind me. Gaara sat behind a dark-wooded desk with papers scattered all over the top. His eyes widened slightly upon seeing me slump into the closest chair.

"Sakura, if I had known that you would want to see me then I would have come to you. You should be resting so that you can regain your strength." He said, putting down the pencil that he had in his hand.

I didn't want to bother with small talk. "That's why I'm here. I have business between the two of us."

His eyebrows shot up. "Oh?"

"I'm losing strength and valuable training time staying in bed and since Tsunade doesn't want me leaving Suna for another two months, I wanted to request something of you."

He dropped the paper that he had been holding in his other hand and entwined his fingers together, folding them on his desk. "And what would that be?"

I lifted my eyes from my own hands and fearlessly looked him in the eye. "I want you to train me as your student."


	12. Chapter 12- Sorrows

Chapter 12- Sakura

Sweat dripped profusely from my skin and my breathing was short and harsh. I couldn't say that Gaara was any better as he pant like animal a good twenty feet from me. We were both covered in bruises and small cuts from the kunai that had grazed both our skin on a few lucky shots.

This was the eighth day that we've been training and all he's had me do is taijutsu but it honestly didn't matter to me that much. Not many people I know have been able to truthfully admit to sparring one on one with the Kazekage himself. I was honored.

There was still burning within the deep red gashes on my stomach and chest that weren't healing as fast as I had wanted them to but I didn't dare admit it to anyone that asked. I wasn't going to give up this opportunity of training and I knew it would end if someone found out that I'm still hurt from my fight with Hidan.

I tightened my grip on the bloodied kunai in my right hand and prepared to charge again but instead of getting into a defense position as usual, Gaara sighed and sat down in the sand below us.

I was confused but definitely not ready to give up just yet. "We're not done, right?"

He looked at me with amusement in his eyes. "Sakura, we've been at this since six in the morning; that was seven hours ago and we haven't had lunch yet. I don't know how you're even still going."

I gave him a rough look. "I stop when my body isn't capable of moving anymore and even then, I get back up."

He tiredly looked down at his lap as he leaned back on his hands and muttered something along the lines of 'obviously, that's why you're here,' but otherwise just stretched his legs out in front of him. "I should have figured that any student of Kakashi-san and Tsunade would be amazing in taijutsu and I'm sorry for wasting so much time on a skill of yours that already leaves little to be desired. I just wanted to see where we stood with that before moving onto something new."

I perked up at that but allowed my tired and pained body to sink into the sand as well. I folded my legs underneath me and unconsciously twisted my fingers together. "So we're starting something new?" I truly tried not to sound hopeful but I guess I didn't try hard enough.

Gaara gave me a light laugh and nodded his head. "We are both going to try something new with this type of training; something that I guarantee no one else can do."

I grew excited. "Like what?"

He smirked again and I watched in amazement as he wiggled his outstretched foot and the sand beneath him moved in motion with it. "I'm aware of your amazing chakra control and in my lifetime, the only other person I've seen with such talent like that is Tsunade herself. I'm also aware that you've learned to control puppets and to string your own chakra out to create ropes or trip wires. Trust me when I say I know of your skills."

I was so surprised at his knowledge of me that all I could do was nod at him to continue.

"Despite all of that, you would never be able to use jutsus specific to a certain bloodline. Kakashi's sharingan is the only exception I've ever heard to that rule and in turn, I don't think that will ever happen to you. You will never been able to control the sand like I can and you will never be able to activate the byakugan like the Hyuuga clan can. It's simple genetics that can't be altered and it will forever be that way but ever since you requested for my help, I've been thinking."

My forehead scrunched up as I attempted to think of where the conversation was headed. "I understand bloodline jutsus but where do I come in to this whole thing?"

He smiled again and a small part of me wondered if I had ever seen the man in front of me use as much emotion as he was now. "There is an exception to every rule, in a way," he started. "You might not be able to master the byakugan but as a medic, you don't need to see the chakra points in the body; you already know where they are. All that is missing from that equation is the way you perform your taijutsu. So if you apply that logic to the way you think about your natural Earth jutsus then you get a new skill."

I narrowed my eyes. "I have a feeling that it won't be as easy as you're making it out to be."

"Well since your natural affinity is Earth, it shouldn't be as hard as it would with something like water or fire."

"What is '_it_'exactly?"

His smile widened. "Bending sand."

I stared at him for a while like he was stupid, which is exactly what he was sounding like. "Do you know how damn impossible that sounds?"

He sat forward suddenly, looking at me with determination. "But think about it, Sakura. Sand in all reality is just a massive amount of tiny rocks. I've seen you pick up a rock with your chakra alone; how is that any different than picking up sand with your chakra?"

I thought about it and the more I thought, the more I got excited. "And if I can lift it with my chakra then I can get it to do whatever I want!" I exclaimed, my excitement finally getting the best of me.

Gaara nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly. Just think of your chakra scooping the sand and send it out."

No matter how simple it sounded, it wasn't. It's one thing to send out strong, unbreakable strings of chakra to tie someone up or control a puppet but it's an entirely different thing to send out sheets of chakra to hold something up. It's completely draining.

Two hours later and I was barely holding onto my consciousness. I felt like a weak little girl again, unable to protect myself from danger and having others look out for me instead. I was on my hands and knees with sweat dripping off of my forehead onto the ground below me.

I heard the footsteps walking towards me before I saw them but soon enough the back sandals were just in my range of sight. "You did very well for your first time, Sakura. I'm impressed with the progress you made in such little time. I didn't think that you would even move any sand for several sessions but you did. I'm proud."

His word shocked me and before I could stop myself, I widened my eyes and gaped at him. "R-really?"

Gaara smirked and suddenly, sand was surrounded and lifted me up until I was on my feet. "Really." He bent down and swept my legs out from under me, lifting me up in his arms with ease.

I struggled and fought against his hold but I was too drained to put much force behind any of it. After a few minutes of a series of turns, I realized that he brought me right into my room and after he poked his head in to make sure no one else was there, he walked in and slowly placed me under the blankets on my bed and pulled them up to my chin.

"I want you to rest now. You've worked hard today," he said, walking towards the door after patting my head lightly.

I huffed but had to bite back the growl that threated to break out. "I wasn't done training!"

He paused for a moment but didn't turn back around. "I've distracted Kakashi-sama all day but according to my guards, he finished his work early and is on his way back quickly. You wouldn't want him to find out about your training, would you?" Before I could even give him my answer, he was gone.

True to his word, Kakashi walked into my room not even ten minutes later. He had his hands in his pockets as usual and his hair was as disheveled as ever. I guess some things don't change.

As my ex-sensei sat down in the chair to the left of my bed, his lone, dark eye landed on me and visibly narrowed. "What have you done today that is so strenuous?"

His blunt question left me rushing to find a quick excuse and I was glad that it was still hot outside because otherwise I wouldn't have an excuse for the beads of sweat that suddenly appeared on my forehead. "I- uh, what do you mean?" What a brilliant, brilliant response…

"Your chakra is weak," was his simple response.

_Damn his fucking poker face._ "I tried to speed along the healing process some more so maybe I can eventually get out of this damn bed."

It wasn't a complete lie; he just didn't need to know that I started intense training with the Kazekage the day after I woke for the second time… He _really_ didn't need to know that.

Kakashi's eyes gazed back at me for a while, probably attempting to see any lies but thankfully he dropped the subject and leaned back further in the chair. Something seemed off about him today; he seemed… detached.

Neither of us said anything for a while, only looked out of the uncovered window and watched the sky explode with colors as the sky fell further and further behind the sand dunes and leaving a sky full of stars behind. It was absolutely stunning but I couldn't help but feel the oozing sadness slip into my body once again.

I had been hoping to work the terrible memories out of my mind through intense strenuous activity and it usually worked but only for a little while. The dark thoughts always came back and usually with strength.

I flinched when he eventually spoke and I realized that he had been watching me but I hadn't even noticed it. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

And there it was. There was the reason he seemed so out of it and probably why Naruto and Sai hadn't even bothered to show up and see me today. They were concerned for my safety, my wellbeing… _again_.

I felt nauseous and a low throb in the back of my head just added to the self-loathing that continued on to consume me. Why couldn't I do anything right? What the hell did I have to do around here to get everyone off of my back; to get them to stop worrying about me?

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. We are your teammates Sakura and we care about you but lately you've been going down a path of destruction. I don't like it."

"Well I didn't ask you stick around and be my babysitter, did I?" I snapped angrily, a seemingly simple question from his part escalating into something so much more.

He tiredly ran a hand through his silver locks and glared at me. "And what would you like us to do, hmm? We watched Sasuke tear himself apart over the years and we watched him live for nothing else but revenge. You know better than anyone else how much it can hurt to watch someone you love fall to pieces. That's why we care so much Sakura; I don't want something like that to happen to you."

"Why?" I yelled, my anger getting the best of me for a reason beyond me. "Why do you care so much? I already killed Kabuto and I have no one to take revenge out on; everyone involved died that day when we all fought! I'm trying to forget, Kakashi. I just want to forget it all."

He didn't say anything at first and I wondered briefly if I pissed him off enough to leave me alone but the thought fled when his onyx eye met my wide, jade ones. "Revenge on one's own body is ultimately more fatal than the revenge on another," he seemed to quote but I wasn't in the mood for his mind games and such.

I sighed and swiped the moisture off of my face with the back of my hand. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

His eyes narrowed again. "You blame yourself for what happened. You blame yourself and you just want to forget everything so you throw yourself into your work and you try to get rid of the images. You try to burn the memories of them lying there, dead, but it doesn't work. When that doesn't work you start taking missions and when you fight the enemy, you realize that death is no longer a fear; you are simply taking out orders given by the Hokage.

"You're not exactly trying to get yourself killed but at the same time you don't care if it happens. You don't care if you get so injured that you literally have to _drag _yourself back to the village." He said monotonously.

My eyes filled with tears of anger and sadness. "Shut up," I said in a low, threatening voice. "Just stop." He didn't.

His eyes bore into mine and it made me want to ram my head into a wall. "You can't bring yourself to go visit them and at night when you lay down to sleep, it never comes. It becomes your goal to work yourself to exhaustion every day just so that when you put your head down on a pillow at night, you'll fall asleep instantly. After you do that though, the nightmares come and soon it's like you're not even sleeping; only reliving the terrible things that you don't want to see."

"SHUT UP!"

"You stop sleeping. You go and find anything that you can do to get your mind off of what you don't want to think. You go to the bar and you drink and it helps at first but then you become depressed when you realize that the bottle is empty. The shame comes then, and you think of how your loved ones would feel if they could see you then; crying and shaking and begging for death. You can't lift yourself off of the floor anymore; you're so piss drunk that right is left and up is down."

"STOP! STOP TALKING!"

He continues. "The people around you watch you fall apart but they don't say anything because they think it's just a stage of grief and you'll grow out of it. They leave you alone and at night when they hear your screams of agony, they ignore it and keep going on with their lives. They don't know how it feels and you resent them for it. You resent them because they keep living and you seem to be stuck in a world of pain.

"Suicide seems like a very valid option. You love the thought of seeing them again but you're too scared to end it all because deep down you know how pissed they would be if you killed yourself off before it was your time. You hate them for it. You hate them because you know that there is nothing you can do to stop the pain of their parting.

"Everything reminds you of them and you just want to stop thinking about it all so you smash everything is sight. You aren't satisfied unless you hear the glass shattering against the walls and then it just eggs you on even more, propelling you forward until you see a picture of them. You see a picture of them and you collapse on the ground because images of their faces begin to surface and it hurts like fucking hell because no matter what you do, you can't get rid of the memories. You can't let go of the pain."

"WHY THE HELL ARE SAYING THIS TO ME? SHUT THE HELL UP AND ALONE! WHY CAN'T YOU DO THAT?" I screamed, utterly losing my mind and probably waking up anyone in a mile's radius.

Kakashi seemed to snap then when the tears began to fall over my cheeks and the anger that I rarely saw in him burst like a damn. "Because this is how I felt when I lost my teammates Sakura! It's how I lived for years; hell, it's what I still do! I hear you crying and screaming every night because you think no one understands; because you miss them but _you_ need to understand that they aren't coming back! They are dead you need to move the fuck on because what you are doing to yourself it not good or healthy!

"I did everything that you are doing and look how I turned out! I'm an anti-social robot who follows orders and risks my life for every damn thing I do. I don't want you to be like me and you won't be if I have anything to do with!" he yelled back, taking me by surprise and rendering me speechless.

His chest heaved from lashing out at me and I couldn't seem to breathe at all. It felt like the room was growing small and everything he said seemed to sink in but with every word, the pain grew twice in size.

When I couldn't take the silence anymore, I sat up and threw the blankets off of me, quickly running out of the door, out of Gaara's home, and into the night. Kakashi didn't follow.

…..

The dim lights were a convenience for me; they hid the never ending stream of tears that trailed down my cheeks and dropped onto the hand that was in my lap.

I ignored the hungry looks of the middle-aged men in the back corner of the bar and just studied the glossy wood of the counter that I sat at. I was vaguely aware of the uncomfortable stool underneath me but I didn't care about comfort at the moment. I just wanted to forget… everything.

Making my decision in a flash, I raised my right hand and signaled the bartender over.


	13. Chapter 13- Skills

Chapter 13- Sakura

"Sakura," the pleading voice was firm at the same time, leaving what seemed like very little room to insert my own opinion. I ignored him.

My eyes slid shut just before he came into view and I slowly allowed my chakra to ooze out of my hands, seeping into the ground below my toes. The drain wasn't as bad anymore but maybe I could sum that up to the fact I had very little patience to deal with my own failures today. I expected the best from myself and I'd be damned if I couldn't get it just because of the acute pain in my head. Damn the alcohol.

The sand underneath me shifted slowly at first, only a few grains rolling from side to side but they were soon joined with more and more under it was a pile of sand being lifted into the air. I heard the surprised gasp from the man but he was silenced when I pushed more chakra into the task at hand. The rough grains rubbed against the skin of my feet as more collected into the ball that was already floating inches from my face.

"Sakura!" This was a different voice; an angry one; a voice that I particularly didn't care for at the moment.

My anger peaked, the chakra freely flowing out of me and into the ground. I could feel it shifting completely under me, sand shuffling away from where I was and collecting into the air. I didn't have to open my eyes to see it; I could _feel _it tightening and my strength increased and certain edges becoming sharp as a kunai when my mood darkened.

"What- what is that?" Someone choked out with emotions I couldn't quite figure out. I'm sure they were all appalled to see something so… extravagant coming from their weak little Sakura.

I could practically hear the smile in my mentor's voice as he watched me from the sidelines. "It's the ultimate weapon specifically for her."

The sand rose higher and I finally opened my eyes to see nothing but the high walls of sand around me, growing higher with every ounce of power I pushed out of me to hold it up. It was almost exactly like the Kazekage's sand jutsus if it weren't for the beautiful strands of bluish-green chakra weaving among the grains. It was a work of art.

A smile that had absolutely nothing to do with humor began to form on my lips as I watched my creation grow and mold to my choosing. The anger that I thought I had under control after Kakashi's little fight with me two weeks ago began to leak out as well when I began to think about what he said.

I was going into a rage so I didn't question who I was fighting when I felt with my chakra that a kunai was suddenly imbedded in the think wall of sand. I wasn't worried, no; I had more than enough protection.

As the attack began to intensify, I controlled the sand around me to spin, lowering back towards the ground so that I could see my opponent as well as lash out further when needed.

On the opposite side of the arena stood Gaara, a very proud, very excited look on his usually calm features. He stood there with sand of his own spinning slowly by his feet as he watched me morph my power into something to be of more use in the spar; spears.

As soon as I saw his lips twitch into a smirk, I jerked forward and ran at him with everything in me. I needed to get this anger out; it weighed me down and he was the perfect one to help me with that. Gaara didn't need me to blatantly admit that I was hurting on the inside; he just knew. He knew that this is what I needed and he was more than willing to help, so why would I turn down such a selfless offer?

The chakra that ran from my fingertips forced the sand that had just been a wall to follow at my every move. The spears that I had made shot forward like bullets, damn near piercing right through Gaara's head if he hadn't moved just in time.

His own sand missiles came at me and I quickly let them absorb into my makeshift shield. We paused for a moment after that, eyeing each other to see if the other would give up the slightest clue to the next move. Gaara wasn't one to really strategize during a spar or fight; his sand was usually all he needed to keep him safe. He couldn't do that with me now, not with everything that I had learned from the past two and a half weeks of non-stop training. I had worked my ass off to get as much training as I had in. His mistake was letting me train alone; he missed me learning all of the cool stuff.

This time it was me who smirked at knowing that I had an advantage. "You should have been here Gaara; then you would know how to find me."

I saw Naruto and Sai by the arena doors, staring at me with awe-stricken expressions glued to their faces. They had no idea what I had been doing in my free time since being here in Suna and just by the looks on their faces I could tell that this was the last thing they had thought of me doing.

Gaara's eyes widened in surprise and something else as sand wrapped around my ankles and began pulling me down; the sand reaching my knees, my chest, and then my head. The sand closed around me and I quickly spread my chakra all over the floor so that Gaara wouldn't be able to pinpoint where I was. I was wary about the effectiveness at first but then to my utter pleasure, it worked.

The surprised screams and accusations from Naruto came sooner than I thought they would; his insults raging from 'what the hell was that?' to 'what the hell did you do to her?'

The feeling of my own strength and chakra gliding over my skin was exhilarating. I couldn't help the large smile that eventually surfaced when I realized how much I really did take them by surprise. None of them had any idea what had been going on and I would have been able to secretly train if it wasn't for Naruto and Sai slipping away from guard duty to come see what all the crashing and explosions were from the training area. I think I successfully took their breaths away.

"Why is she still down there? Bring her up before she suffocates!" Naruto screamed as I felt his hands desperately paw at the ground by where I had disappeared. He didn't know that I had already shifted and was now right under the Kazekage's feet. They didn't have a clue.

Gaara distinctly huffed in aggravation at Naruto's antics. "She's not going to suffocate Naruto; she's hiding from me until she decides how to strike. She has this entire arena flooded with her chakra and has made it so I can't track her with the sand. Sakura has this whole thing planned out even though I didn't intend to spar upon arriving here."

"How does she even do all of this? I didn't know she shares the same blood limit as you," Sai spoke up, the curiosity in his voice almost tangible.

"She doesn't have a blood limit; Sakura uses…" Poor Gaara didn't even get to finish his sentence as I suddenly shoved myself up with the sand and drove my fist across the bottom of his jaw in an uppercut, sending the red-head flying into the ceiling.

Cracks in the stone spread out a good ten feet from his body and as he began to fall, the clear imprint of his body was still there. I didn't try to catch him but I didn't need to anyway; his own sand caught him halfway to the ground and gently rubbed against his skin as if in a silent comfort once back at ground level.

I slowly walked over to his still body, ignoring Naruto and Sai's stupid looks, and smiled sweetly at seeing him still conscious. "Now Gaara, you aren't supposed to be giving my tricks away. I thought you would know that by now."

I received a bloody smile in return. "I just couldn't help myself. They are amazed as I am at how you've come in so little time. I don't know how you do it but I can say that you pack one hell of a punch, my dear friend." He lifted his hand and brushed the oozing bodily fluid from his split lip.

I grinned in pride, something I haven't done in a long time. "Tsunade's been saying the same thing for years!"

"I can see why," he grunted, heaving himself off of the now-still sand and pushing off his arms and onto his feet. "It's unbelievable the progress you have made since I left you to figure everything out on your own. I didn't think that you would need me to be there for you with every training session and I guess I was right. What I have seen today has definitely put you as one of the best kunoichi in the Fire Country, if you weren't one already."

I snorted. "Tsunade-sama says shit like that all the time."

He smiled lightly. "It doesn't take a much for anyone to see how amazing you are." His tone was light and soft, something I definitely didn't expect after the spar we just had. He stared into my eyes for a few more seconds before turning away, a smile still on his lips.

The way he had said that was different and in a way that I couldn't quite put my finger on. He had said it too soft, too gentle to be referring to my skills.

I quickly brushed the thoughts away before I dived too deep in them and turned to a still-frozen Naruto and Sai. I wanted to hit them both over the heads but with the dizziness that was edging its way into me, I didn't trust my feet or balance to move myself over to them.

Sai looked just as he used to, indifferent and calculating but I'd seen that look of his enough to know that he was just deep in thought. Naruto on the other hand was practically bouncing up and down in his spot and waving his arms frantically.

"Wow Sakura, that was totally awesome! How did you do that? You completely destroyed him!" he yelled, cheering me on. It was endearing, really, but I couldn't focus much on his words with the loud ringing in my ears. If anyone else heard it, they didn't let on.

I faintly heard Gaara mumble back to Naruto something along the lines of 'shut your damn mouth' but I was glaring at my feet that kept switching before four and two as my vision deteriorated. No one noticed my breath that soon turned ragged or how my body just seemed to deflate.

My limbs felt like jelly and I tried to hold myself up the best I could but eventually, my knees buckled under my weight but before I hit the ground, two strong, warm arms wound around my waist and under my legs. I was lifted into the air with ease and I knew who it was the second his scent entered my nostrils.

I don't know anyone else who smells like pine trees and fresh rain but something in the back of my mind separated it from anyone else's I've come in contact with and put it on a damn pedestal. My subconscious is a fucking nightmare.

Kakashi's face doubled up a few times and was blurry so it was hard to read the emotions in his eyes. I slumped against his chest, the anger that I held in me from the last fight with him long forgotten. I just couldn't stay made at someone who was always there to pick me up when I fell. It was impossible.

He must've been in a bad mood since even Naruto's insensitive comments didn't make his footsteps falter as he proceeded to carry me out of the worn arena and into the dull halls. Not a word was exchanged but it didn't bother me as I faded in and out of the real world and dream world.

The terrifying images were starting to appear again; red stained walls and shattered picture frames hanging limply on nails or on the floor. The lamp that was on the corner table was broken and scattered across the carpet in the living room while a familiar laugh ruble through the too-quiet house. Kabuto.

The blood staining my knees from the bodies were scolding hot against my cold skin as my hands pressed against the deep slashes in the bodies on either side of me. Kabuto's hot breath on the back of my neck sent shivers down my spine and I cried out but couldn't hear myself.

Instead, my parent's voices were surrounding me, blaming me for their violent ends. I was a failure, I was an embarrassment, I was a disgrace to the family. It was my fault that they were dead and the feeling of practically being my own kin's murderer was more painful than anything that Hidan could ever do to me.

"Sakura," a low voice murmured, waking me completely from what flashbacks and torments that were beginning to play in my mind. Kakashi hovered over me with a blank look in the one onyx eye that wasn't covered and I realized that I was already in my bed with covers pulled over my slightly shivering body.

His silver hair was defying gravity as it always was, casting a shadow over my face from the dimming light outside as the sun lowered in the sky. My breath was shaky and my hands trembled from the top of my abdomen.

"We need to talk," he added after a moment, slowly retracting the hands that he had placed on either side of me. His eye was piercing and it never left mine as he backed away from the bed and sunk down in the chair at an awkward angle. He didn't say anything for Kami knows how long so I eventually closed my eyes and just allowed the breeze from the window to drift around the room and brush against my skin.

"Your training is impressive. I guess that's what you've been doing for the past couple of weeks. The explosions that I hear every day should have been clue enough." His voice was monotonous. Kakashi was angry.

My hands tightened into the sheets as my annoyance for him grew instantly. "What else was I supposed to do? I know you don't like training indoors so it was the one place I knew I wouldn't run into you." I know how incredibly childish that sounded but I couldn't find it in me to care.

"Genma tells me the bartender is on a first name basis with you now."

I rolled my eyes with a sigh. "That is none of your concern. Obviously I haven't spent all of my time at the bar anyway. I've been training a lot."

"Training hard enough that you don't even notice me here when you pass out every night." He retorted quickly, folding his arms over his chest.

"Well you didn't need to be here every damn night, Kakashi! I'm sure Gaara has another room around here that you can crash in. I don't need a fucking babysitter!"

His voice suddenly rose to that of our last fight. "You do since you seem so damn set on working yourself into your own fucking grave!"

Kakashi's eyes softened when he saw me shrink back into my pillow, his sudden yell quite frankly catching me off guard. He sighed and leaned forward, slipping a hand towards mine and gripping my left wrist softly.

"Sakura, you don't understand how painful it is to see my favorite student do this to themselves. I can't watch it anymore. You made a significant improvement to how you were before we got to Suna and now you've learned a new technique that will surely take any enemy by surprise. You don't need to prove anything else to anyone anymore," he said quietly.

My eyes narrowed almost instantly. "I didn't do any of this to prove anything to anyone, asshole." He was clearly taken by surprise. "And don't say I'm your favorite student. Sasuke and Naruto took that position long ago," I added, looking down at the gold-tinted comforter.

After a moment of silence, there was a small shuffle before three fingers tilted my head up by my chin. I was jarred into silence from the surprise of the touch but strangely, it didn't bother me as much as it should have.

I was taken aback by how soft his expression was even with most of his face covered in a silky cloth. Maybe it was because his body was considerably less tense than it usually was or maybe it was because of how surprisingly soft his hold was on me. Either way, I had no control of my own body as I comfortably slouched back on the pillow, my anger forgotten.

"Never," he started, his voice firm but quiet, "never has Naruto or Sasuke been my favorite student. I'm not just saying that for shits and ha-ha's. While you were all annoying as hell to start with, neither of them struck me as you did. Sakura, you were the only one who didn't jump to rip someone's head off in every fight. You were the only one who truly tried to avoid fights at all costs. You didn't resort to violence for every little thing that happened. I don't know why that made me like you more than them; it just… happened."

The warmth of his fingers on my face made butterflies I didn't even know I had, erupt in my lower belly. His lone eye gazed at me with an emotion that I couldn't place. His thumb gently grazed the edge of my jaw, leaving a path of tingles behind.

"You are the strongest woman I know," he murmured, making fireworks explode in my entire body when he said 'woman.' It affected me much more than it should have but I couldn't find it in me to push him away. I really didn't want to.

My breath caught in my throat as Kakashi began drifting closer to me. My heart raced erratically in my chest and I wouldn't be surprised that he could hear it. After all, he is the great Copy Nin.

"Sakura," he whispered, the hand on my chin moved to the back of my neck while his other hand gently grasped onto my hip. Whatever skin he touched boiled with pleasure and the butterflies turned into bats.

His clothed nose brushed against mine as I raised my hand, allowing my fingers to curl against the edge. Kakashi's eyes burned with approval and his hands tightened on me when I gently began to tug the mask out of the way.

Before I could even see anything, a sudden scream echoed throughout the hallways and we jerked apart with wide, panicked eyes. The voice was that of a male's and recognized the person instantly, especially when he appeared in the doorway.

Naruto was gasping for air but the underlying fear was shining brightly in his eyes. "It's the Akatsuki," the blonde gasped, struggling to get his words out.

I barely noticed how Kakashi's hand on my hip tightened considerably.

Naruto continued, apparently not noticing Kakashi's raging expression either. "The Akatsuki are here in Suna."

My chest seized with panic and fear, the man next to me hissed with anger. I thought I had time to sort out my thoughts. I thought we had time to figure out a plan. What no one else knew though, was that I already had somewhat of plan formed. It was time to set the only thing I knew into motion.

I struggled to stand up but nearly collapsed at Naruto's next words. "They refuse to leave until they see a certain person."

Kakashi stiffened next to me, his eyes locking with my wide eyes.

"They demand to talk to you, Sakura."

My blood ran cold.


End file.
